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Wednesday, the day, vanished. Disappeared. Gone. Absent. Completely.
Long 14 hour flight. In the very pleasant company of Sarah and her mother Kimberly (immortalized in my pic section).
Verizon promised my phone would work. My phone didn’t work. Changed to Telstra, Now the internet on my phone doesn’t work, however at Telstra I did meet Belinda. A lovely woman….and married. Pass.
Shuttle has no record of me but gave me a ride nonetheless. Anastasia was the operator. I dated a woman with that name. Maybe that explains the special treatment.
Qantas lost baggage, then found it on a later plane. All of 8 minutes and a complimentary cup of “coffee” later.
There is no coffee in Melbourne.
“Hello, Maria. I’d like a cup of coffee please.”
“Yes sir. What kind?”
“Regular.”
“Regular what?”
“Regular coffee.”
“What kind of regular coffee?”
”What do you mean? Regular. Not decaf.”
“Yes sir. Do you mean black?”
“Well, that too. No cream. No sugar. Black.”
“A short black or a long black?”
“Medium is fine.”
“Yes sir. A medium coffee. Short black or long black?”
“What?”
“Would you like a short or a long black?”
“I just want a regular black coffee.”
“Yes, sir. What kind?”
“Who’s on first?”
Evidently, drip coffee does not exist. Short black is one helping of coffee grinds making a strong espresso. Long black is two helpings of coffee grinds making a weaker espresso. Neither of which are coffee, ergo there is no coffee in Melbourne. I’m going to hate this city.
Everything is Celsius. Totally Greek to me.
Toilets don’t swirl. So much for clockwise, counterclockwise nonsense. As far as I can tell, toilets fill with force and push out.
Crosswalks tick like a bomb about to explode; they get faster and more urgent the less time there is to cross. It’s like playing Frogger.
Arrived at hotel by noon. In the midst of my airport nightmare, I made dinner plans and I suspect I may have tapped a wealth of friends I never knew I knew. I’ll be hooking up with them later.
Their steering wheels are on the right, which is to say wrong, side of the car and they drive on the left, which is to say wrong, side of the road.
Finally, and most importantly, the second flight eerily played an omen. Two months ago I discovered two cover versions of “Love Will Tear Us Apart” (see playlist) that I like much better than the original. I boarded the plane from Sydney to Melbourne and what song was playing overhead? A cover version of “Love Will Tear Us Apart.” Despite being on the receiving end of cool feet, I understood this to be God’s way of confirming that I’m here for a purpose and I’m in the right place, delays, lost baggage, and all. I hope to find out why soon enough. Oh, and I’m so sweaty, I can smell me. Shower time.
Welcome to Melbourne, home of a $9.5 million always open yellow and orange wooden archway.
