Date: 07/19/07
My health is getting a lot worse and I have been very, very depressed. I'm currently seeing a OB/GYN doctor now & have been told that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and I'm at risk for Uterus Cancer. This is the reason why I'm gaining so much weight ( despite diet & excercise efforts ), having irregular periods, facial & body hair growth, insulin resistance and much more. The doctor had did a pelvic exam on me in her office & is running a lot of tests on me. She gave me some medicine that should help regulate my periods & help w/ the facial & body hair growth. She ordered for me to get blood work & a ultrasound done (which has been done already earlier this week). I won't know the results of these tests un-till I go back for my next appointment (08/13) or unless they call me. The doctor wants to also do a biopsy and maybe more.
I have also seen my family doctor just recently this week & I had explained everything to him so he can be on the same page w/ the OB/GYN doctor. I've expressed how my weight effects my everyday living, how much pain I'm in everyday w/ my back, and how this all affects my moods. He is also doing some testing w/ me & had did some blood work while I was in his office. Yesterday I got a call back from the family doctor w/ the results showing that my Tyroid level was too low & he had to call the pharmacy to up the dose. I've also expressed how I felt about losing my independence cause I can't take care of myself w/ personal hygiene or clean my house w/o being in extreme pain, plus I'm not able to spend time w/ my kids like I used to which really depresses me so much. The doctor & I also talked about the possibility of having weight loss surgery done where they use a band or something around my stomach. I’m up for trying anything cause this weight is literally killing me.
I do have a bath chair to help w/ getting a shower but I still have to fight w/ myself because I still go through a struggle & have pain. I did ask my family doctor for a power wheelchair just so I can get my independence back & be able to get out of the house. For this I went to walmart & got the paperwork started. I just have to wait on medicaid to call me to setup a appointment for a evaluation of my house etc. The entire process can take up to 3 months before receiving the power chair. I may have to get a ramp built at one of my doors for the power chair to get in/out of the house. For this I’m not sure how to approach my landlady or know if she will be willing to do something like this as I can’t afford to do it. The doctor had also discussed w/ me that he feels I have Sleep Apnea and is sending me to anouther doctor for that.
I have to depend on my husband & kids all the time for that isn’t fair for them. My kids should be able to stay a kids w/ playing and having fun. They shouldn’t have to have so much responsibilities on them. All I can do is sit 24-7 which is not helping my health or anything else. Because I have to depend on everyone else to get things done, it doesn’t get done when it needs it or not done right. Before having to depend on everyone like this, my house was always clean and organized. I prefer to do things myself as then I would know things would get done and done right. I've always been little overweight since I was a baby & growing up but NEVER been overweight like I am now. I feel so huge like one of them 500-800 lbs people even though I’m not. I hate even looking at myself in the mirror now and have no passion to wear makeup or do my hair anymore. All of this is the main reason why I feel suicidal a lot and feel like giving up.
Shelly Jones
