I honestly don't know what to say today...So I am going to say whats on my mind...If I offend anyone or upset or even piss anyone off please forgive me...
Everyday for the past 2 and half years I have been single and lonly...So lonly I feel like I am in this big world all by myself...Yeah its a scary feeling to have you know. I don't understand what am I doing so wrong here you know...
Its like I feel in love for the third time in my life about 4 years ago and it was the best feeling I have ever had in my life.Its like after we broke up for good I am empty hearted broken like I don't fit in any where even with my own blood and flesh.
Love is the best thing in the world but many people just play games or wanna use others to get what they want and then when they can't get no more its like bye and thats the last you see them...
I remember the speical moments that ech other shares like as for one...Me I teasure the moments spent together like holding her hand as we walk in the beautiful moon lite night with the stars above our heads...Or when we lay there on the couch or in bed watching a movie or tv show as you lay there on my chest as my arms are wrapped around you.As I am running my fingers though you long silky and so beautiful smelling hair as you start falling asleep...As I lay there watching you sleep wondering what your dreaming about...Just seeing the warm happiness smiles after you wake up each morning with me by your side.Well I will come back to all this when I clear my head with some things I am thinking about...
Well I have came back to this blog...When you love someone it is the best thing in the world am I right or wrong? But once the love dies out its like everything around you just comes crashing down at once...Its like the wrost feeling in the world you know...
I remember alot in my past relationships and one of them is the time you put into it after you relized how much the other person really apperactes it you know...Like me for an exmaple cuz this is how I am in person...I am honest about everything even if it hurts our relationship you know...But like I was saying I remember all the times I got to massage her beauiful body with lotions or warm oils and it the way she would feel afterwards but me I was just being used you know...I like to surprize the one I love in my ways....
When i mean surprize the one I love it is in my ways unlike many guys out there today...When I do work unlike I am now...I love to work long hours for the fun of it...Be part of my job a big part...when I am working and i have money in my pocket I think about the one I love more than anything...After work I like to walk into a store and walk around and look. I love to see new things and when I see something that my lover might like or enjoy I buy it and surprize them with it....But after what my ex gf done to me It has died out...Like I don't care to much anymore and I hate this feeling.
What ever happen to the woman that enjoyed those guys that did things like that for them you know...
Yeah kimmy you do have a good point on your comment but trying to find someone that woullove me for me and not use me or break me into pieces is the hardest thing I have ever tryied to do in life...
You know I know that everything I may have said here don't make much since but I am trying to express my true feeling inside after sitting and thing about my last relationship and me having problems trying to express myself from everyone downgrading me is hard as well...
