Today is Friday Oct. the 19 2007. I feel lost, like I don't belong here in this big world. I have been thinking about alot these past few weeks. I just don't understand somethings in my life still today.
Its like I work my ass off for what man. when I first starting working it was for the schools through a program call OWA in high school. I made maybe 125 a week for like 25 hrs of work. Half the school year I was a janitor then the other half I became a teachers' aid. I had a blast with it all.
But as I started to work real jobs, it was like more and more people were just using me to get what they wanted. I worked for this fast food place called Rally's for 2 and a half years with only 2 days off. Everytime someone called off they would call me asking if I'd help them out. So I would drop my plans and go to work. But at the end I was lied on as well screwed over on rasies and postions.
Well everyone said I was their best worker ever but see if that was the case I would have gotten my raises like everyone did or I would have gotten a better postion. But that shos people do a lot of lying in this world.
I been thinking alot about me wanting to settle down and start a family with someone. But I gueam just one of them people that has to be like 40 or 50 or almost dying to even make it that far in life. Hell I have an uncle thats 40 and hasn't even had a child of his own yet still today. And I feel like I am going in the same direction and I don't want that.
People ask why men lie all the time, But it works both ways if you think about it. For an exmaple. Guys think that oh she don't know and isn't going to know I am cheating on her. Wel when time comes and they been cuaght they sit there and play dumb like no babe I didn't do that or screw her or this and that. Like the woman didn't know or found out. But she women also do the same thing but they try to be way smarter then men. But she when they g cuaght its like see ya then thats the end of them... Why is that Why lie for. Saying you love someone and then cheating on them is wrong man.
But enough about that boring crap cuz i can go on all day and night about that. I miss my unborn child my ex gf and I had alot. I guess trying to keep it off my mind is harder than I thought. But all the questons that run through my mind, keep coming and coming as I start to wonder why.
