I am in a constant battle of sanity..I am trying to get my life back and my kids..trying to get back to work..trying to get time with loved ones, family, and friends..it can rip your soul and heart to shreds..I don t like to sit here all the time when I cannot get time with my loved ones, my angels..I try to reach out and get no response to anything from anyone..how cruel can people really be???..why dont people realize the only monsters in my kids life are the ones they create with their pre-conceived notions and schemes..
I struggle to keep it together and succeed for the time being but somehow that is not satisfying enough..my heart is SO HEAVY I cannot pick it up..so much weight is not good at my age..it is heavy with love yes but loaded with stress and struggles to go on somedays...it feels good to be independent and self reliant but also I like knowing that there is someone there or are people there to help lift you up when you are in need of it..to those who have stepped up to the plate in this respect I thank you deeply..somedays I just need to hear some loving, encouraging words..I know I can be strong but some times it is normal to feel yet so weak you want to drop from the pressure and pain..but like I keep telling everyone I do it because I REFUSE TO DIE!!!!!!
