You know I must be Bipolar or something like that. I feel like I've been kicked and kicked and don't want to take shit anymore. You see I was flying high there for a while. A random guy hit on me. This is something that does not usually happen to me. I didn't and I guess still don't take anything at face value when it comes to the male gender. I let myself get into the place where I was thinking ok, maybe I do want to date or something. But all of the sudden I feel like I've crashed. Like I don't care and will never date anyone again. Like I'll never have another first kiss or a guy who knows just the right spot on my neck to kiss. The feeling of butterfly's. I'm just there, here. Just floating and I hate it. I can tell everyone is tired of me talking about it. Like they just want to say shut up if you want something so badly go out there and get it. Which is the same shit I tell others. If you want something so badly go out there and get it at least know what you want. I can give others this advice but I can't seem to take it myself. For some reason I wont let my guard down or let people in my life. I want to but something is holding me back and I'm not 100% sure what it is. I wish someone would just sit me down and make me listen. Make me realize that there is something other than work out there to do. Someone who would make me feel like I'm not alone in this world. While I know this is not true I feel SOO lonely at night. I miss hugs,kisses, cuddling, and just knowing that there is someone who would defend my honor if need be ( I can do it myself, but it's nice to have someone else who thinks i need defending that I'm NOT related to) I just miss it all and want it but I don't at the same time. Well read it if you want, read it if you don't want, comment or not. Not that anyone ever does on these things. I have to put gas in my car anyways... Night people.
