Lord Scumbag's blog: "Lord Scumbag's Royal Decree"

Greetings and salutations to one and all!

You're friendly neighborhood "Lard of Dorkness" is here again to bring you the complete match results from this past Sunday night's Battleground 2013 pay-per-view event, originating from the First Niagara Center in Buffalo, New York:

- In a pre-show kickoff match that was aired prior to the pay-per-view broadcast, DOLPH ZIGGLER defeated DAMIEN SANDOW when the "Showoff" pinned the "Intellectual Savior of the Masses" following the Zig-Zag.  

- In Pay-Per-View Bouts:

..... World Heavyweight Champion ALBERTO DEL RIO defeated ROB VAN DAM (with Ricardo Rodriguez) by Submission in a Hardcore Rules Match to retain the title when "Mexico's Greatest Import" forced the "Whole F'N Show" to tap out to the Cross Armbreaker, with R.V.D.'s arm sandwiched between steel chair .....

..... THE REAL AMERICANS (Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro [with Zeb Colter]) defeated SANTINO MARELLA and THE GREAT KHALI (with Hornswoggle) when Cesaro pinned Khali following the Giant Swing .....

..... Intercontinental Champion CURTIS AXEL (with Paul Heyman) defeated RON "R-TRUTH" KILLINGS to retain the title when the third-generation Superstar pinned the "Sun-Tanned Superman" following the Hangman Facebuster .....

..... Divas Champion A. J. LEE (with Tamina Snuka) defeated BRIE BELLA (with Nikki Bella) to retain the title when she pinned Brie with a Roll-Up after Tamina distracted Brie .....

..... CODY RHODES and GOLDUST (with W.W.E. Hall of Fame Legend Dusty Rhodes) defeated W.W.E. Tag Team Champions SETH ROLLINS and ROMAN REIGNS (with United Statec Champion and fellow SHIELD member Dean Ambrose) in a non-title match when Cody pinned Rollins following the Cross Rhodes.   ..... As a result, not only are the Rhodes Brothers reistated as active members of the W.W.E. main talent roster, but also Dusty keeps his job as an N.X.T. trainer at the W.W.E. Performance Center in Orlando, Florida .....

..... BRAY WYATT (with Luke Harper and Erick Rowan) defeated KOFI KINGSTON when the "Eater of Words" pinned the "Wildcat" following the Sister Abigail / Spinning DDT .....

..... C. M. PUNK defeated RYBACK (with Paul Heyman) when the "Straight Edge Superstar" pinned the "Human Wrecking Ball" after Punk floored Ryback with a Low Blow .....

..... And in the Main Event, DANIEL BRYAN fought RANDY ORTON to a No-Contest for the vacant W.W.E. Championship when THE BIG SHOW intervened and knocked out both competitors, as well as referee SCOTT ARMSTRONG, with the W.M.D. Knockout Punch.

While there's no doubt the W.W.E. Superstars and Divas always go above and beyond the call of duty to give the fans and pay-per-view television audience an awesome show, there were two stand-out moments that actually helped saved the event from becoming a complete bust:  1)  Antonio Cesaro displaying unbelievable and uncanny super-human strength to lift the 7-foot, 4-inch, 430-pound Great Khali (a former World Heavyweight Champion, mind you!) for the Giant Swing ..... and 2) Cody Rhodes and Goldust winning the biggest and most important match of their lives, defeating W.W.E. Tag Team Champions Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns to not only win back their jobs as active W.W.E. Superstars, but also Dusty keeps his job as an N.X.T. trainer in Orlando, Florida.  

Aside from those two Highlight Reel-inspired moments, the real downer was when the Daniel Bryan-versus-Randy Orton match for the vacant W.W.E. title ended with a disatisfying finish when The Big Show knocked out both championship contenders and referee Scott Armstrong, much to the ire of W.W.E. C.O.O. Triple-H, Creative Affairs E.V.P. Stephanie McMahon, and "Raw" General Manager Brad Maddox.  

Although Stephanie got the last word the following night on "Raw" when she insulted, embarrassed, humiliated, and fired the "World's Largest Athlete" at the start of the three-hour broadcast, it was Show who finally got the last laugh later on when he not only successfully fended off an attack from The Shield, but also knock "The Game's" lights out with the W.M.D., with a smile on his face and a huge weight off his shoulders after having been humbled by "The New Corporate Regime" for the last couple of months.   And with Hell In A Cell coming up on October 27 in Miami, Florida, there's no telling when or where The Big Show may strike or who will join the "W.L.A." in  what could be a band of rebellious W.W.E. Superstars and Divas who are mad as hell and won't take anymore corporate hogwash than they reall need to.   We shell see what happens next over the next few weeks.

Well, my loyal subjects, that's about it for me right now.   Hope to chat with you again very soon.  For now, though, keep thinking of good thoughts and pleasant dreams in your heart.

C-U Later and Enjoy the Mat Mayhem.

Peace!!!!!

:D   <3   ;)