Dynimite's blog: "Tips about Realationships"

Here's how to use the power of your intuition to not only better know and understand what a man is thinking... but to help you both be more "in tune" with each other. And if you'd like to take your ability to talk and share with a man in your relationship quickly to the "next level" - to where you both have an easy time understanding each other, listening, and relating to where the other person is coming from... then you need to learn the real secrets of COMMUNICATING with a man and avoid the common mistakes and "myths" most women believe in that make men want to stop opening up. It's all here: http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/e/12833/CommunicationSecrets/?cid=ZVQAZZ&lid=1&ll=1 Dear Crystal, Have you ever felt "magic" with a man? Where the connection and chemistry you and he share is so strong that something inside tells you that it's something special and real? You both can't stop thinking about each other and your lives start to "naturally" fall into sync. So let me ask you... Have you ever noticed that when you're really connected with a man that you both can actually start to feel and experience what each other are going through? It's like your minds are connected somehow. Well, have you ever thought about what that "magic" connection that you have is, and how it works? Or how you could use it more to improve your relationship? Good. You and I are in sync too. I'm going to get serious with you for a second... Did you know that learning to tune-in and use this "magic" could make or break things when it comes to a lasting and secure relationship with a man? It could mean the difference between moving forward into a loving relationship by identifying the common barriers that almost all men and women have in relationships. OR... Getting your heart broken, never seeing it coming, and spending months or years after the fact wondering what happened and if maybe it was your fault. The unfortunate reality is that lots of women who are "in touch" with their own feelings, and like to talk with the man in their life about how they FEEL don't always end up using their abilities in a way that improves their relationship and brings a man CLOSER to them. In fact, lots of women who have an easy time being open and honest about their thoughts and feelings end up PUSHING THE MAN IN THEIR LIFE AWAY on accident. Why? Because they don't know the simple and subtle but powerful "shifts" they can make to ENGAGE a man with their FEELINGS and EMOTIONS - instead of PUSHING HIM AWAY with them. Have you ever sat down with the man in your life and started talking to him and sharing things that you knew were special and important... But instead of him listening and relating to you and your feelings bringing you CLOSER- it made him become DISTANT and WITHDRAWN? You know what I'm talking about here, and you know it frustrates you to no end when this kind of thing happens. I'll suggest something to you here that is what I think is the greatest single lesson you could ever learn when it comes to men, dating, relationships... and COMMUNICATION. It's something that a few of my favorite teachers and mentors have said in a few different ways. It's that communication IS the response that you get. But what does this mean? (Because the power of this single insight and lesson is in the way that you understand it for yourself) In short, it means that when you get to a place in your life where you are mature enough and healthy enough to take RESPONSIBILITY for creating the things you want in your life, and for how your relationships go... That at this point, what really matters most when it comes to communicating in a relationship is NOT that you know what you are trying to say and that the other person figures it out. What matters most to you when you're a healthy and mature person in a relationship is making sure your communication (what you say and do) is actually HEARD the way you want it to be heard. And what's the only measure of whether or not you've been HEARD the way you want to be heard in your relationship... and that the other person (the man in your life) really understands you? I'll tell you- It's THE RESPONSE that he gives you. Unfortunately, the women who have the most trouble with men in their relationships are not the women who care the least. The women who have the most trouble with men and communicating in relationships are women who don't take the mature and healthy attitude of "owning" the way the things that they SAY and DO with a man make him RESPOND. So let me ask you... How is the man in your life, or in your last relationship, responding to you? And do you find yourself becoming endlessly frustrated with his inability, or unwillingness to listen to you and understand you and what you're thinking and feeling? And do you find that the more you try and talk to him - the more he ends up tuning you out and WITHDRAWING? Then guess what? There's a huge part of all this that YOU are creating yourself. And until you decide to take the bold step of taking responsibility for the RESPONSE you create inside a man with the way you share your thoughts and feelings... you're likely to NEVER have the man in your life listening to you and giving you what you want instead. The quickest and easiest "crash course" in becoming a great communicator, getting the kinds of RESPONSES and LISTENING you want in your relationship... while at the same time showing a man that you're the kind of woman he wants to be with because you're so easy for him to talk to... your best bet is right here: http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/e/12833/CommunicationSecrets/?cid=ZVQAZZ&lid=2&ll=1 Now, let's get into using the incredible and unique power of using your own INTUITION to connect with a man on a deeper level and build the level of intimacy and attraction he feels with you... WHAT WILL GET YOU TO "THE TRUTH" OF A MAN Let me ask you.... Have you ever been with a guy and he seemed to have it all together? He was caring, loving, generous, present and aware, and you had such an amazing time together. But then his issues popped up out of NOWHERE. Maybe his issues were some of the dreaded and predictable tell-tale signs of a confused and withdrawing man. Tell me if any of the following seem strangely familiar to you: -He starts acting restless and talking about how he isn't really ready to "settle down" and wants his "freedom" -He tells you that he didn't see things getting "serious" so fast -He doesn't make an effort to connect with you, give you praise or attention, and stops sharing any personal thoughts or feelings -He stops making you a priority. He wants to spend all of his time with friends or other people and doesn't value time together anymore -He never initiates anymore. He isn't as physically excited and into you as he was at first -He starts flirting, talking to or even hanging out with other women Recognize any of these? Ouch, right? So what in the world can you do about it when a man is acting so withdrawn and closed off like in these situations above? Well, tell me... Did you ever sense any of these things coming before they happened, or when they started, but you didn't have any "proof"? Fascinating how that works. What's going on here? Well, what's happening centers around an important idea I want you to understand- That you instinctively know more about what's going on in the world around you than you or your conscious mind fully recognizes. So here's the deal... You ALREADY HAVE a magical ability inside you that comes up for you every once in a while. So all you have to do is learn how to consciously tune into it. This "magic" is what we also refer to sometimes as INTUITION. So how does it work and what is it? In short, intuition is something that comes "pre-wired" in your brain. The way your conscious and subconscious mind is hooked up to the rest of your complex body systems and senses make it possible. So the good news is that this ability is there for you anytime you want to use it. But the bad news is that you have to take time to fully tune into it and recognize your ability. It a kind of "practice". Music is a good way to explain it. You can't just pick up an instrument and start playing, right? But once you start to become more aware of the instrument, the music and how to play, things start to naturally fall into place. And soon sounds, melodies and rhythms just start to flow out of you in the moment. Like they appear out of thin air, and nothing could feel more natural. And your mind is able to process all the information coming at it that used to overload it. But now it can take it all in and use it to actually ANTICIPATE what's next. Well, this is EXACTLY what this magical ability of yours called intuition is like. Your mind is constantly picking up on information from your environment, even when you're not really conscious of it. And all that information is being "processed" over and over to try and calculate the risk, danger, and expectations from your environment to try to find a way towards the outcome you want. So let's get to it. THE MAGIC POWER OF YOUR INTUITION Here's something you already know... Men don't make it very easy for open and honest communication about what's happening and what's going on in your relationship. That's why I don't have to tell you that men can be bad communicators when it comes to their feelings, emotions and their intentions around love and relationships. But give them a sports game and they'll give it all kinds of meaning and emotion that you've never seem them share before. What a bunch of apes...lol So knowing that men can be BAD COMMUNICATORS, and that they can have serious shortcomings with sharing their feelings or knowing simple how they are feeling in a given moment and being able to articulate it... this leaves you with a personal choice to make. You can either: A) Do nothing about it and continue to be shocked, frustrated, surprised and hurt by the things that men do and say (or don't do or say) and have your relationship stay "stuck" in the same place. Or... B) You can start to create a more perceptive and insightful way of being in your own life and relationships by using your natural intuitive abilities... and changing the way you and a man COMMUNICATE. Here's the thing... Using your intuition will not only help you understand a man better, but help guide you to an even more rewarding benefit - to help them understand YOU. So which one will it be? Choice A - do nothing and stay "stuck"? Or Choice B - grow and learn? Nod if you're choosing B - more perception and insight. And if you're still stuck in the trap of Choice A where things aren't great but you always get to be "right" when the man in your life disappoints you... then go ahead and stop reading. I don't want to waste our time. Good. Glad you're still here. Let's get to it then... USING YOUR INTUITION WITH MEN Using your intuition might be the best, and in some situations, the ONLY way, that you'll be able to know what's really going on inside the mind of a man. And even better, the best way to find a way to help him understand YOU and your feelings. I know it sounds counterintuitive, and I can hear it now... "You mean I have to give some understanding in order to get it?" Ummmm, yeah. You do. It's called maturity. And if you're completely honest, I think you'll remember that deep down even YOU don't always know exactly what your feelings mean or how to make sense of it all. So how do you expect a man to take in the small part of your feelings that you can explain with words and understand and relate to you? Here's an answer to get you started- Use your intuition and let it guide you. So how do you do that? I'm going to give you a short-cut guide to getting in touch with your intuition. That way, you can start getting the benefits of understanding and becoming understood. SIX-STEPS FOR USING YOUR INTUITION WITH A MAN Step 1: Clear Your Mind Of Fear And Doubt Some women end up worrying almost obsessively that something is wrong or going badly with a guy they're interested in or dating once they see some negative sign or pattern. And once this happens, they want to know what's going on so intently, and often expect the bad, so they let their negative thoughts take over. If you want to be able to use your intuition, you need to start interrupting that voice in your head that's the "fear-monger". You know the one - that voice that's always worrying just to try and keep you safe and protected. And to predict all the bad things you've seen and felt before so that you don't have to go through them again. The thing is, you can't find the truth in a situation if you and your mind is buried inside your mind in fears and doubts. Have you ever seen how arrogant people often cover up or ignore real problems around them just because of their "ego" and the false belief they hold to that they're always right - no matter what the cost. Same idea. Keep a balanced and objective mindset. That way your beliefs systems aren't all mixed up with negative thoughts and fears. If they are, there's no way for you to see the real "cause and effect" around you. You'll just see what your mind is fearful and afraid of - and this only helps bring the same kind of negative situations and experiences you've had in the past into your life again. Don't do it! By the way... if you're having a tough time moving past any painful or negative thoughts or experiences from your past... or you see that often times it's YOUR negative and fearful emotions that end up getting in your way and ruin things with men, then I would STRONGLY SUGGEST that you take a minute and read the letter at the link below to help get those negative thoughts and patterns out of your life once and for all. Don't let the things that don't define you and aren't your personal best push away the man you're meant to be with. Check out free tips and the in-depth program I've created to help you get into a positive and healthy state that will naturally draw the right man to you and let him know you're the kind of woman he wants to love and be with. Help yourself, and the man in your life, enjoy your "best self" here: http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/e/12833/ReadyForLove/?cid=ZVQAZZ&lid=3&ll=1 Step 2: Accept That Men Don't Make "Sense" All those frustrating things that men do that don't make any sense to you as a woman will NEVER MAKE SENSE. Stop trying to make sense of them. Trying to make sense of a man in your own terms is entirely counterproductive and will only make you frustrated. To learn about things you don't already know, like intuitive ideas, you have to have to look with a different set of eyes - not the same ones you always use for yourself. Step 3: You Can't Figure Everything Out Have you ever REALLY hit it off with a guy but after a few weeks or months, even though things seemed great, the man pulled away and starting acting distant and cold? Most men, at one time or another, do things like this that are impossible to analyze and figure out. So... EXPECT to NOT UNDERSTAND everything a man does. If you can become more comfortable with the idea of not knowing everything about WHY a man does what he does, then you'll feel a strange sense of calm relaxation - along with an increase in your own self-confidence. And guess what? This ends up being VERY UNIQUE and very ATTRACTIVE when a man sees and senses that you can be confident and "centered" in those times where other women he knows have acted a little "too emotional" for him. Now, I'm not saying that it's OK for a man to do whatever he wants, and that you should accept any negative and withdrawing behaviors without having your own feelings about it - and "pretending" it's all ok. But the more relaxed and positive you think and feel around these things, no matter what the man is doing, the sooner you'll stop fighting everything in your mind and start creating better situations for yourself. It's frustrating and counterintuitive, but accepting what's going on and moving forward from that reality in a positive way changes the whole frame of the situation. There's a funny thing about the way the world works... and especially about how men are when it comes to relationships with women- Any "force" or "energy" that you apply to a situation with a man... there will be a response that's equal in force to what you're doing. This is a basic law of the universe - every force produces a response of equal force. So if the "energy" you're applying is anxious, fearful, uncertain, etc. than guess what you're going to get back from a man? You guessed it - the same kind of energy in response. But some women get stuck in the "I need to understand why he did this and THEN I'll figure out how to feel and act" mindset. So they keep on pressing and using the force they feel... thinking it will somehow transform into connection and understanding from a man. I'll put it to you straight - this NEVER leads to clear thinking and positive action. And more importantly, it never gets you the kind of connection and response you want with a man. Quick note here - if you use the kind of energy or force that includes the things that will make a man feel ATTRACTION, then guess what he's going to feel and EXPERIENCE with you just by being around you. Right - he's going to FEEL ATTRACTION for you. And I wonder what kind of "energy" you'll get back from a man then? To learn what it is that makes a man feel that intense gut-level attraction for you to where he literally can't stop calling you and thinking about you.... go here: http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/e/12833/NALA/?cid=ZVQAZZ&lid=4&ll=1 Step 4: Listen For More Than Words Intuition doesn't talk in straight answers, or in plain logical English. It's much more abstract. Your intuition talks to you through feelings, images, and bodily sensations such as "gut feelings". Most people, especially women I know, are usually in an open and relaxed state when they get intuitive gut feelings and understandings. I couldn't talk highly enough about meditation, but I know it's not for everybody. If you don't think you have a strong intuitive sense, simply try asking yourself more questions and keep them mulling around in your mind. When you've got something in the back of your mind, something amazing happens without you even trying. Your brain takes notice and uses all your senses to find any sign or trace of information that relates to your questions as you go about your day. It's kind of like a search running in the background on your computer - even though you're doing something else it doesn't stop looking. After you've asked your questions, your mind will start sending you ideas, feelings and images without you even thinking about it. But sometimes it usually takes more time than you'd like. Finally, your intuitive voice will eventually just pop up and start to give you hints and information without you even asking for it. And then it's up to you to pay attention, acknowledge it and make good use of it. The huge mistake too many women make is when they get intuitive messages that they don't like, or that scare them. When this happens, a mature Woman will look at the intuitive message she's getting and go to a place of figuring out how she can use the message she's getting in a constructive way for herself - and for her relationship. An immature woman (a Girl) will get very upset about receiving a negative message, and will get thrown off emotionally to the point where she will say things that shows she's not in a very fun and attractive place personally and emotionally. When a man sees this, it would be great if he would always stop and say, "Hey, are you ok? Do you want to talk about it honey?" But I think you know that this is NOT what most men will do in these situations. Especially if you're in a "newer" relationship... or you've been in a relationship where you've been acting hurt or upset often around a man. At these times, most men will either PULL AWAY to try and avoid the negative emotions they can see and sense in you... Or they will get irritated or frustrated with you and want you to simple get rid of your own feelings. Either way, it doesn't work out well. At all. Step 5: Ask Your Intuition Questions One of my favorite things to do is to train and tune my intuition with each new person I meet. And I've personally found that body language has become the thing that gives me special intuitive hints about people and situations. If you're new to using your intuition or you're concerned with if or how to act on it, start with smaller things that might be less important. Like whether or not you should go away for the weekend or if your friend will like the gift you've been thinking about for them. That way, you can be practicing and learn to use your intuition without doing it in high-risk or high-pressure situations. This will help you develop your abilities and become more comfortable to trust what you find. One of the areas that lots of women have the most problems using their intuition and tuning into where the man in their life is really at is in UNCOMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS. Yes, I said UNCOMMITTED. As in new men you're dating early on. In my eBook "Catch Him & Keep Him" I discuss the natural "Relationship Temp" that men have, and how this differs from the speed at which women start to feel and act "committed" in a relationship. If you don't know how to stay "in tune" with a man, and you start acting in ways that say to him that you see things as a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP when he isn't there yet - then no matter how much the guy liked you before, he's going to have a negative reaction and become much much less likely to want to grow closer and more involved with you. I know it sounds silly, but it's the way men are when it comes to the delicate process of getting close to a woman, deciding if and when he wants to move into a more serious relationship, and then actually becoming "committed" on a physical and emotional level. You can read more and download my eBook here if you're interested in knowing more on this: http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/e/12833/eBook/?cid=ZVQAZZ&lid=5&ll=1 Step 6: Act With The "Long-Term" In Mind Years ago I had a huge learning experience when it came to using and listening to my intuition in the right way. The situation came up when I was worried that a few people I worked with, who were my managers at the time, we're talking about me and scrutinizing my work more closely than they had before. Feeling and sensing the scrutiny, I immediately felt worried about my job and wondered if they were thinking about letting me go. The company had lain off several employees a few months before, so I began to think that their extra attention to my work must have something to do with another round of cost-cutting. Anyways, aside from my own professional insecurities at the time, my gut told me that something bad was coming. So what should I do, I asked myself. I was really worried. I decided to push myself even harder at work to try and show them how valuable I was in hopes that I would keep my job. But that uncomfortable and nervous feeling in my stomach that came with my intuition about their scrutiny of my work stayed with me for the next several weeks. Well, it turns out that my managers were watching me and judging my performance. But it wasn't for the reasons I feared. A few weeks later I was called into a meeting with the managers who had been watching me closely. Walking down the hall to the meeting, I had a lump in my throat and a turning stomach. My intuition was leading me to the conclusion that this was it - I was sure that I was about to be fired for the first time in my life. I couldn't believe it. So I walked into the meeting feelings anxious, defensive and tense. As I sat down, one of my managers could immediately sense my discomfort and asked me what was wrong. Without provocation, I immediately started defending my job and showing my insecurities. My emotions got the best of me and I even said a few negative things about the managers themselves, as I wanted to place what I saw as equal blame on the managers for the companies problems. Luckily, they finally stopped me before I did too much damage. Then they let me know that they had been watching my performance because they wanted to put me in charge of a new division. They wanted to be confident in their decision so they paid extra attention to my work to be sure- and now they were. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and my mood completely changed. End of story. Thinking back, my intuition had alerted me so that I'd be aware of what was going on. But the mistake I made was taking that information and using it to justify my own fears and insecurities. If I would have taken the information, been patient with it and applied it towards my goals in a positive context, then the entire experience knowing that the managers were watching my work would have been different. Maybe even productive for me. But I didn't use my intuition to see my way to something better. I simply used it as a means to worry and stress myself out over my own fears. So all this talk about intuition. How does it really apply to the men in your life, dating and relationships? Well, take a man with some of those common negative male behaviors- -fear of intimacy -inability to commit -flirting, cheating -withdrawal Intuition can help you see past these things and understand them in the larger context of the deeper real psychological and emotional "stuff" that's hiding beneath the surface. Your intuition could even help you cut through a man's ego and persona to get to the real person that's often hard to find. Intuition is probably the best tool for being able to identify good and bad qualities in a man. A man's external or surface behavior and attitude can be very different than his deeper desires and intentions - as you probably already know. Some men are, unfortunately, just good at playing the part of an emotionally stable, available and loving guy for a while, even if they aren't. So it's really up to YOU to learn to get to the "deeper emotional truth" of any man you're interested in or dating. And yeah, I know men can be soooo frustrating. In a better world, men would be able to tell you honestly and sincerely where they were at. But as you know, MEN SUCK sometimes. And a man will basically NEVER be able to tell you clearly and honestly everything he feels or what he wants when you ask him. So if you're constantly surprised, blind- sided or confused by what men around you do, then it's time to get in touch with not only your intuition, but the other knowledge and skills that you can put to work for yourself. Your heart and your love-life deserve it. In my ebook, Catch Him And Keep Him, I've dedicated a whole chapter to the idea of better understanding a man's "inner psychology". Remember, learning to understand is one of the best ways to be understood. In Chapter 3, I also explain how to create the right mental and emotional state for yourself to better take advantage of your intuition. Getting into the right state will also help you start to learn and identify what a man is thinking and feeling with you - without letting those self-destructive fears pop up that so often cause us to react in fear, anger or frustration. Have you ever built up all kinds of frustration inside your mind with a man, and when you finally talked to him, it all came out in a destructive whirl-wind that only pushed him away? Then it's time you checked out my book and took the next step away from those helpless and frustrated feelings. I think of learning these "emotional skills" as the equivalent of learning to write in the dating and relationship world. And intuition and understanding is the "learning to read" of the dating and relationship experience. In other words, don't go through your life emotionally illiterate and stumbling over every feeling that pops up and every man who acts out around you. Learn to read what's going on for yourself and know what's important and what's not. The rest will start to take care of itself. Go here to check out all the details on my ebook and how you can download it and be reading in just a few minutes from now: http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/e/12833/eBook/?cid=ZVQAZZ&lid=6&ll=1 I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love. Your Friend, Christian Carter