5 Mistakes That Make Women "Flake Out"
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***DATING QUESTION FROM READER***
I will try to keep this short, but if you don't
read it all, just refer to the question at the
bottom regarding the question.
Okay, I have read through all of your newsletters
ever since I signed up for the service & purchased
On a Tuesday I am out with a friend & we bump into
his ex & her roommate. Both girls are 9's (pushing
10's). I immediately go to work! She's wearing a
turtle neck sweater (I see a weak spot) so I start
calling her "Tippy the Turtle" all night. She acts
all defensive about it, but keeps laughing &
asking me WHY, WHY, WHY do you keep calling me
that?...So I just keep pouring it on. I bust on
her humorously every chance I get. Within 2 hours,
she's leaning on me, squeezing me & following me
around the club like a puppy..... SO, we go to
another club & I go to the bar to get a drink and
the waitress at the bar (whom I know from being
there in the past) asks me why I have never asked
HER to go out & do anything (LIGHT BULB GOES ON).
So I tell her it's "because I don't have a way to
get a hold of her". So she pulls out a dollar bill
from her money holder & writes her number down and
gives it to me (this girl is a solid 10 by the
way... and trust me, IM PICKY!). Needless to say,
IM STOKED! So I tease her a little about her name
(because her name is B...a guys name), take the
number & go back to my friend & the girls.....
Everything is great RIGHT????
Now the problem & the question:
I ask a friend of mine about her (the waitress).
He works at the same night club she does. He said
that she was "all about money". He also told me
that she just quit her job that weekend & didn't
work there anymore...
So I called her on the following Sunday (gave it
about 5 days). I decided to check this "money
thing" out in a humorous way. When she finally
realized who I was (which kinda pissed me off that
I had to explain to her who I was on the phone...I
went as far as suggesting that I hang up & call
back & try this again) I told her that I heard
she quit her job & then asked her "How are you
going to take me to lunch & pay my way if you
don't have a job"? I thought it was funny & was
awaiting a laugh, but she responded with "why do
you have to start the conversation off like that?
I had to support my last 2 boyfriends, so don't go
there". Needless to say I'm shocked & respond with
"Its becoming a habit huh?"...and then heard
silence & broke the silence with "I'm just giving
you sh**!" (I know, I know....a WUSS moment)
SO, I set a simple meeting with her (for some
lunch before I had to go to work) for that same
Thursday (today actually...4 days later). She said
the date & time were cool so I closed the deal
(kept the phone call at about 3-4 minutes). Before
I hung up she said "why don't you call me between
now & then so we can talk". Well I'm picking up on
that one right away, so I respond with. What would
be the point in that? We are getting together
Thursday to talk". And we said our goodbyes & that
NOW I get a phone call 3 hours before we have to
meet & she tells me some BS story about her
brother coming in town & she can't meet me for
lunch. Well I'm not stupid, and I just had another
girl cancel in a similar fashion on me last night.
DUHH!!!... So my question is this:
QUESTION: If a girl cancels on you, how should you
really handle it? Especially if you know her
excuse is bull sh**?!?! (I can pick liars out a
mile away... its a gift!). I realize she maybe
testing me, but when a girl expresses interest in
YOU & makes it a point to make sure that YOU leave
WITH HER PHONE NUMBER, how should you handle it
when they cancel last minute with a lame ass
excuse? My feelings are to talk to them in a manor
making them feel as stupid as they think YOU are.
When she tells me her brother is going to be in
town & she had to cancel THREE HOURS before we
meet, I felt like saying "Well I gave you 4 days
notice to meet me for ONE hour. Your brother
hasn't seen you in six months & you didn't know
this when we talked the first time??"
I was just real quiet & said nothing when she fed
me this "Line" & responded with "ok, whatever...
maybe some other time...you have my number" &
that was the end of the conversation, I hung up.
Are they testing to see if you WILL be an a**hole
(DO THEY WANT YOU TO?), or are they testing to see
if you will be sympathetic (WHICH WOULD BE
BAD)..... Personally, I want to be an asshole
because I get kind of upset with flakey people in
Also, do you think I should ever call & set a date
up again with a woman like this, or did I already
OK, first things first.
You really have the right idea here. Your
thinking is right on, and your use of the Cocky &
Funny attitude is great!
And I'm guessing that the REASON why the cute
waitress started asking why you never ask her out
is BECAUSE you showed up with a hot girl that was
chasing you around.
It certainly helps the stock value when you're
seen around with a hottie.
I'd love to talk more about all the RIGHT
things you did, but, alas, I'm going to focus this
newsletter on the WRONG things you did.
Now, please don't take any of what I'm about to
tell you PERSONALLY, because it's all in good fun.
But pay attention, because by making fun of you
in a public newsletter (that many thousands of
guys read) only hurts a little (but remember the
joy I'm getting from it, and maybe you'll feel
MISTAKE #1: LISTENING TO YOUR FRIEND
Dude, what are you thinking?
When your friend who worked with her told you
that she was "all about money", it probably meant:
- He was in love with her.
- She wasn't interested in him.
- He tried to buy her dinner and gifts, but she
only wanted to be friends.
- He hated the idea that you were going to date
- He wanted to put you off the trail.
Think about it.
MISTAKE #2: WAITING 5 DAYS TO CALL HER.
Now, of course you don't want to call a woman
ten seconds after you meet her and say, "Hi, I'm
the needy dork you just gave your number to...".
But think about it...
This girl works in a BAR. She meets about a
million guys every night.
She probably gives her number to more guys
every week than you have FRIENDS.
I would have called her the next evening... two
days later at the most.
This way she'll at least REMEMBER you.
And I would have said "You know, I've never had
a woman PAY ME to call her. But this dollar is
only going to buy you about 15 seconds. You can
ask me what I'm wearing or something, and then
you'll have to give me a Visa card to continue the
You're good with the Cocky & Funny, but you
should get THIS to make yourself KILLER:
MISTAKE #3: DISCUSSING THE "MONEY THING" ON THE
What are you thinking... bringing up something
like this by telling her that you heard she quit
Something like this at the beginning of a first
call CAN'T go anywhere but a BAD place.
I can see what you were trying to do, but you
were on a slippery slope, and you were only
Save the ball busting for when you're alone
with her in person.
This is where you REALLY screwed up, man.
At this point she was probably thinking "What
the hell is this guy talking about?" because it
was a sensitive subject for her, and you didn't
have enough of a connection with her to be talking
to her about this topic. Too early.
I'm going to say that you basically SET HER UP
to flake on you.
Shortly after that, she gave you the NEON SIGN
of "why don't you call me between now and then so
we can talk".
TRANSLATION: "I'm going to flake on you for
SURE, but I just don't want the confrontation
right now, so I'll put doubt in your mind".
MISTAKE #4: LETTING HER THINK THAT FLAKING WAS OK
When you just let the "call me between now and
then" comment go by and hung up, you made a big
Right then and there you should have STOPPED
the conversation and said something to the effect
"Whoa. I'll tell you what, I have a pet peeve,
and I HATE it when people flake out on me. So, if
you're gonna flake, just tell me now. I'm only
going to make plans if you're CERTAIN that you're
going to be there."
Now, a lot of times when you say something like
this, you'll scare a woman off. But it's worth it.
The last thing you need in your life is a flaky
Better to get it handled early on.
But, if she's NOT a flaky woman... but only
trying to figure out how to flake on YOU because
you acted like a DUMB ASS, then this might change
When a woman sees you standing up for yourself,
and basically saying "Look, if you're going to
flake out or be late, then I don't want to meet
you", it shows her beyond the shadow of a doubt
that YOUR TIME is more important to you than HER.
This is a good thing.
This kind of comment will often result in a
woman saying "No, no... I'll be there. I'll be
MISTAKE #5: LETTING HER ACTUALLY FLAKE ON YOU
If a woman called me three hours before we were
supposed to meet and said, "Oh, my long lost
brother is coming to town..." I would say:
"Well thanks for the three hours notice. What
are you going to do to make this up to me?"
NOW IS THE TIME TO BUST BALLS!
Of course, you don't want to do it in an
emotional, hurtful way... or in a way that lets
her know that you have been upset by her.
I'll mention one thing here... I have a friend
who has gotten tired of women flaking out on him.
So he now calls THEM on the day he's supposed to
meet them for the first date, and FLAKES ON THEM.
He tells me that this works like a charm, and
they always show up for the next planned meeting.
Now, I personally don't like the idea of lying
to or deceiving women, but it's an interesting
In the final analysis, I'd say that you screwed
up in the beginning, and created your own
Instead of saying, "I heard you quit your job"
(which makes you sound like an amateur stalker),
you should have just said a few charming things,
set up a meeting with her, and gotten off the
That probably would have prevented your
Which leads me to another idea...
EVERY STEP with a woman will go MUCH SMOOTHER
if you set it up well beforehand.
My experience is that most guys CREATE THEIR
OWN PROBLEMS with women, then come to me to solve
Isn't it a much better idea to not run into
these problems in the first place?
I mean, you'll never reach a point where you
never have any problems with women, but you sure
can prevent and eliminate about 80% of them by
just knowing what to do to set up each step with
women, and how to respond to certain situations.
Where's the best place to learn how to do just
Of course, my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD
One of the most important things you can do to
make your dating life go more smoothly is to
REALLY get your "inner game" together.
By this, I mean how you think about women and
dating, what you believe, how you see the world,
and how you psychologically respond to common
One of the things that separates my materials
from all the other "dating" stuff out there is the
fact that I teach the "inner game" at a DEEP
I think it's important to understand what
ATTRACTION is, and how to create it (which is
something you were NOT doing with this woman on
You must understand that there's a time and
place for everything, and if you screw something
up because you DIDN'T KNOW what to do in a certain
situation, the only clue you're going to have is
that the woman just disappears.
In other words, unless you understand what the
RIGHT thing to do is, you might very well keep
doing a WRONG thing (or many of them) without
realizing that you're even making a mistake.
Like I said, my Advanced Dating Techniques
Program is the answer. I spend several HOURS going
over the "inner game" and ATTRACTION... and
teaching you how and why it works the way it does.
Of course, I also spend several hours teaching
the exact, specific, step-by-step techniques that
I personally use to be more successful with women
and dating... and I also interview several of my
friends live and extract their secrets as well.
Go check it out. It's all here:
There's another program that I'd like to
recommend here as well to help cure your bad case
That's my Deep Inner Game program.
When you've worked out your "inner issues" and
you're not looking to other people for approval...
and when you have a clear sense of who you are as
a person... then you stop screwing up situations
as often... and you start doing the right thing
Women can tell when they're dealing with a man
who doesn't have his "inner stuff together", and
they respond by FLAKING, CHALLENGING, etc.
To make a long story short, get my Deep Inner
Game program. It will give you the specific, step-
by-step tools you need to fix your "inner game
The details are here:
And if you haven't read my eBook "Double Your
Dating", then you need to do that NOW. It's my
original manual for success with women and dating,
and it's the place to get started if you want to
take your success with women to the next level.
You can download it at:
I'll talk to you again soon!