UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY
-Longest relationship:
Well I am almost 30 and have had a pretty consistent relationship with myself over all those years
-Shortest relationship:
Any involvement with the police I tend to cut as short as possible
-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you:
Now why they gotta be girlfriends or boyfriends - everyone loves me dammit
-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person?
What person? Damn are there people that want to marry me that I don't know about?!
-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?:
Well yeah but he stopped after the cop made em remove the knife
-Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Well there are ups and downs to both - single I need not worry about pissing off the guy or gal at home when I go home with the guitar player but when in the relationship then my wrists don't ache as much form the constant masturbation . . . get back to me on this one
-Have you ever been cheated on?
Hmmm, well is it cheating if I joined the fun after catching them?
-What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?:
They will have sex with me . . . hehehe . . . fav thing about the same sex too - damn am easily pleased.
-Have you ever had your heart broken?
Have you ever talked to me?
-Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Why offering yours up as a sacrifice?
-Talk to any of your ex's?:
Only the ones I allowed to live
-Have you dated people who were not good to you?:
They are all bad to me when we're "alone"
-Have you been in an abusive relationship?
I beat myself up all the dman time
-Have you ever dated someone older than you?:
Seriously why do you think I even date people at all?
-Younger?:
Well they do have all that damn stamina and energy and dammit - yeah
-Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Now why in the hell would I regret it if I got away with it?
-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?:
With me . . . no with others . . . hell if I care
-Believe in love at first sight?
I believe in death at first sight
-Ever dated two people at once?
Again back to the dating thing - just becasue I fuck him doesn't mean I wanna date him . . .well or her for that matter
-Ever been given an Engagement ring?:
Well I couldn't get the plastic egg open but I am sure it was in there
-Do you want to get married?
To a person?
-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?:
Yeah I don;t care what the cop said about possesion and all that just becasue the knife was in you when they arrived does not make it your knife dammit now give it back already.
-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?:
Stolen no, borrowed maybe
-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?:
Did we read the above answer?
-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
Depends upon the size of the knife
-Do you miss your ex?
Nah the bod is easily accesible
Does he/she miss you?
I care if they do why?
