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His Birthday

Mom wrote me today, as she's still in NJ helping my Aunt take care of loose ends -- going thru clothes I'm sure; but also tying up financial ends and going thru the Will I assume. Mom wrote to remind me today was Uncle Clarence's 76th birthday. His father only lived to be 28; but his mom (my grandma) lived to be 95 - so that was in his favor. Uncle Clarence felt he wouldn't live to see 70 but of course he did.....and just a few weeks ago he was saying he felt he'd live to 90. If only he had. So I raise my glass and toast his birthday today. LOVE YOU Uncle C. We miss the hell out of you....
My Dad came and spent the night last Tues and early Wed a.m. we drove to Charlotte on our trek to NJ for the funeral. We got to my brother's in NC and stayed the night; Thurs we drove to Richmond and stayed with dad's childhood friend. They were awesome -- they took us a a party and lets say everyone was hung over the next day.... (except me). Amazing, huh. Anyway - it brought back wonderful memories from my childhood - being in Virginia again. We didn't get a chance to go by my dad's parent's graves though, there in Richmond, so I could take a picture. We drove by Fairfax, VA where I went to Elementary School - more good memories! Then through Maryland where I was born... (Takoma Park area). Past that we hit Delaware and then Pennsylvania - and then into NJ. I saw family from LA, NY, and Australia - it was a family reunion - albeit a sad one. On the way home, my bro, my dad and I drove the first day back through the Shenandoah Valley - WOW - it was so beautiful. I hadn't been there in years. Then we hit Charlotte to drop my brother off; and spent the night. Then Dad and I drove back to Jackson the next day. SO.... I hit 11 states in 5 total days of driving - and we went 2800 miles! Lets see - Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey - then back I hit West Virginia also. What a long trip BUT IT WAS AN ADVENTURE - I tell you!! We use to do the major road trips when I was a kid - back in the day when we could lay down and sleep in the car (no seat belts were required ---it's amazing we survived! ha ha)

He died today

Thank you all for your prayers. Uncle Clarence passed away this morning at 10 a.m. in NJ. Please pray for my Mom (his sister) and his wife and family. THANK YOU for all of your prayers - you guys are the best.... Patty
Please pray for him and his family - the 2 other stroke blogs will explain. Thanks --- Patty

Stroke update

Ok - I'm new to this blog stuff and didn't know I could post a separate comment. It's Sunday and I haven't heard much... so Uncle Clarence's heart is still beating (they don't have him on life support). My daughter (Linda from Los Angeles) told me that his brain is still bleeding, and when it does that it is destroying healthy brain tissue). They may intubate him to keep his oxygen saturation up if he stops breathing... just to see if his brain damage is not so severe. I'm confused about a lot of it, but I'm just hanging in there. Austin wanted to make a card for him, so they had me write some words and they copied them. He is 5 and wrote "Uncle Clarence, we are sorry that you are sick, love Austin and Chloe" and he just copied it and brought it to me. I couldn't help it - I started crying and it scared them I think. So I've told them that when Mommy cries it's ok - I'm just sad for a little bit and I'll be fine in a minute. It's all so hard and I don't want to cry in front of them. I feel bad - I told them that he'd hurt his leg because I didn't know how to tell them how sick he really was. But last nigth I explained to austin, as he's 5, that Uncle Clarence will be going to heaven and he took it ok. I was relieved. I didn't know what to expect. So... that is my life today. I've been on Fubar a LOT trying to get my mind of things.... 11:30 Sunday... my cousin just wrote and said that all the family crowded in his room last night at midnight and he was read his last rights. I don't know anything else but will post it later. 1 p.m. I just talked to my mom (she's there with Uncle Clarence) and he has been holding my Aunt's hand and making a lot of movement... and they are giving him morphine in case he's in pain. His heart is still beating... just an update - it's hard to talk about... THANK you for your prayers for him and his family. Patty

Stroke today

I just got back from vacation to the beach with my family from Grenada -- and tonight I just got a call from my Mom. I found out that my favorite Uncle - Uncle Clarence - had a stroke. I can't believe it - I just saw him two days ago at the beach... He is a vibrant man - 75 years old. It's amazing to even think that he is that "old". He's had mini-strokes in the past, but he is healthy and active. He's my mom's favorite brother and my favorite uncle. He's been there for her thru thick and thin (he was the father she never had. And on vacation... he drank me under the table! I had to laugh - I make sure that I don't accident sip HIS drink - I'd pass out (just kidding). He is paralyzed on one side and I am devastated. He's so far away that I can't be there to hold his hand and give him a kiss. PLEASE - if you read this tonight - pray for him - Clarence Searles - in Wayne NJ. Thanks guys. Thurs 8 a.m. - I talked with my Mom this morning and my uncle has been moved to the ICU. The good news is that the MRI didn't show a bleeding stroke in his brain. My relatives told us that he can't speak and that is making him aggitated. He won't let his wife go because he keeps wanting to tell her something but he can't speak. The last time I saw him - on Mon as I was leaving the beach for him - he told me he loved me and that whatever decision I make in my life they will support me. He is such a sweet man and it pains me to think of him trying to tell my Aunt Mapes that he loves her. But I know she knows this. Please continue to pray for him. I love this man so much. HE IS the loving grandfather I never had. 3:00 - I just called Mom and she was waiting till I got off from work to tell me the news. She has bought a plane ticket to Newark as my uncle had a bad night. They discovered this morning that he had bleeding in his brain all night and the docs told my family he's had too much brain damage. They said they could try surgery to relieve the pressure and swelling of his brain, but he would most likely be in a vegetative state. They said he would have no quality of life. I don't know what happens next but I imagine he's on life support. My family is deciding what to do now. Thank you everyone for your prayers - he was a good good man. He was a Whiskeyplaian Decon - our joke for Episopalian - and a very good man. He did anything he could for anyone - ministered to the sick - talked me through some rough times... and a good son to his mother who relied on her children to support herself after her first husband died (in Grenada) at the age of 27 of a stroke. I'll update everyone on when he passes and when the funeral is - it'll be in Wayne, NJ. Friday 9 a.m. - I talked with Mom this morning and she will fly out this afternoon from New Orleans. She will call the family this morning, but I assume they would have called if the hospital had called them if he had passed. They have made him a DNR in a sense - if his heart stops they will not do CPR. But if he stops breathing they will do a trach, so his son, Robert, will be able to be there when he passes away. Robert and his wife Maureen are flying in from Brisbane Australia right now - they'll get to Newark (or New York?) tomorrow morning (sat). Mom will get to Newark tonight at around 7 p.m. This is all so unreal to me, it just hasn't truely hit me yet, but I have done a lot of crying. I just can't bring myself to explain what is going on to my kids. They asked why I've been crying and I said that Uncle Clarence had hurt his leg - it was the only thing I could think of. How do I tell them when he passes away? I know, like we've done for pets, I'll tell them that he's in Heaven and he's happy up there. I'll tell them that he's up there with his Mom - my grandma Elsie (her picture is at the bottom of my profile page). I'm going to gather up the digital pix of him I took at the beach over the weekend and send to family so they can see waht a time he had. He got down in the sand and built a huge castle for my kids - and then they dug tunnels and had such a good time. That's my family though - we get down and dirty in the sand (that didn't sound right...). We don't mind the grit - we enjoy the beach so much. It has to be in the blood from being from the Caribbean.
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