I've been making adjustments 2my profile, here and there, over the past cpl days.
Most of u won't/don't give a damn bout any of this & that's just fine with me.
I've spent so much.. TOO much.. time obsessing over other ppl's opinion of me.
I am not a bad person. I have the biggest heart & its bursting with love 2give! I'm not necessarily speaking of romantic love.....
But I've tried so hard 4so long 2hide as much of the darkness.. the sadness and anger that eats me up inside. I've tried 2keep smiling thru the tears I choke back and now I'm drowning in them.
I am not perfect. Heaven knows I have my flaws & I am my own worst judge/critic. I hate leaning on the ppl around me cuz I feel so gawd damned petty when I do. I have had friends that battled cancer or were w/o a home, for example.. How can I cry bout my trivial day 2 day 2 some1 who REALLY suffers??? It does force me 2count my blessings but still, my pain is PAIN & I am suffocating in it.
So..... Back 2the topic of my profile....
(I love and thank u Ash 4bringing me here and keeping me here when i stripped my page and blogs & was ready 2cancel my account. I love u more everyday!! U have been TRIED heavily and have remained TRUE thru it all!!! *Mmwah!*)
CherryTAP has been the means thru which I have been able 2somewhat bail out this sinking ship, "Christina". N I am blessed 2have made a few new friends that have found me worthy of a deeper look. A look beyond the anger and sadness so blatantly displayed 4all 2see.
For those of u who have reached ur hands out 2me n have endured me with unwavering patience n compassion, I THANK GOD/GODDESS 4EACH AND EVERY ONE OF U n when I struggle 2see a light at the end of the tunnel, I will count my blessings. And YOU are my blessings!!
+Peace & Blessings!+
Christina
