Why is it so hard for me to trust someone? I want to believe everything everyone says or does, but find it more difficult each minute. When someone says they love you, do they mean it or are they just saying it because they think you want to hear it? When someone says "I got your back", do they mean it? When someone smiles at you to your face, then talks shit about you behind your back, why do we keep these people around? I've been a very trusting person here the past few weeks. Morning trusting than I should have ever gotten. I feel now that someone is waiting in the shadows to jab the knife in my back and everyone else is waiting to turn it just a little bit. Eventually, the wound with be a gaping hole and I will bleed out. I really feel that I should return to my former self and keep everyone locked out of my life. If that recourse takes place, many people will get hurt, and I will have no remorse. It's fucking hilarious what one man will do once driven to a breaking point. Sometimes it's violence, sometimes it's not. I just thank whatever "higher power" there really is that I'm not a violent man.
