Top 10 Rejected Transformers
10. TRANSEXUCRON
Transexucron transforms from a confused young boy into a beautiful woman with unnaturally large hands. Penis detaches and can be used as a laser cannon.
9. BLOCKBUSTER
Blockbuster transforms from a simple children’s TV show into an over-the-top, special-effects-laden summer movie event. Sells for around $200 million.
8. BRONCO
A 1993 white Ford Bronco that transforms into an ex-football star with a penchant for stabbing women who done him wrong. Leather gloves sold separately.
7. LEMON
In car mode, Lemon is a slow-moving, not-very-powerful Kia Rio that is in constant danger of getting into an accident while trying to merge onto the highway. Only transforms into robot mode after warming up for 20 minutes.
6. EIGHT TRACK
Leader of the obsolete disco bot team, Eight Track comes with roller skates, hot pants, and a love for Donna Summer.
5. CYBER SEX
As a member of the Decepticon Internet team, Cyber Sex is a beautiful young robot that transforms into a middle-aged pedophile. Equipped with his own MySpace page and fake profile photo of a 12 year old.
4. CAR JACK
A crack pipe that transforms into a desperate street thug without the skills to steal a car the proper way.
3. MOTOR OLA
This Decepticon communications officer is a cell phone that transforms into the leader of the product-placement bots. Kills enemies by inducing brain tumors and talking loudly on the bus.
2. DRIVE-BY
A 2007 Hummer H2 that transforms into Suge Knight. Alibi included.
1. WIFEATRON
In girlfriend mode, Wifeatron is a pleasant, peaceful young woman. But once in wife mode, Wifeatron is ready for battle! Weapons include ball and chain, battle axe, and a perfect memory of every insult you ever uttered.
