I think maybe before I explode I must clarify myself to those around me. Recent volumes of stress have taken a rather large part of me. Yes, my attitude has been nasty. My comments lack compassion. My eyes carry a spark that will not leave you feeling joy. My stiff stature and saddened composure has been hindering most of you guys from really getting close. I apologize for hurt feelings but you cant deny honesty! LOL!!!
Its been ONE month since I have become committed to Jason. Hes my world. There is no denying my love for him. BUT! I find myself pushing him outta my mind and outta my way when I should be embracing him and letting him support me the way I know he can. Im sure at times hes really confused and may doubt my love for him. Why must my most valued be the ones to take my blows? GRRR! Hes the most amazing man and yet! I don't let him in....SIGH!
ANYWAYZ! Im suppose to start school on November 6th...NOT sure if thats all happening as planned. We'll have to hurry up and WAIT. UGH!!
My daughter...Rhonny. Turns 4 on Friday. And I absolutely hate hate hate it! Yes its wonderful that they grow up. But not so wonderful for me right now. Why must they lose that baby-ness when becoming a child? GRR! Shes so incredibly intelligent. Its too bad that her father aka the sperm donor cant be around to see her become the beautiful young lady that she is. I am, on the other hand, greatly appreciative of the men she does have in her life.
Ian...steady stable figure in her and my life...
Jason...the love that keeps me ticking...
Neil...the step dad that treats me as his own...and her too!
ANywayZ! Im outtie. Things to do...stress to manage...
Mwa
Baby B!
