XaviRoseMaiden's blog: "thinking , reflecting"

After the Divorce or break up...

The hardest thing is to be kind and say things about the other parent..

Things to remember if you have children the child who is already suffering ...

Will suffer more if you are speaking or acting cruel to their mother or father...

Is this what you want?

Think about it...

Find ways to work together for the child's best interests keeping things civil...

Face to face..

There will be enough tension without trying to add fuel that fire...

If u must...

And have to vent ...

Which sometimes we all do...

Don't make the child be one u vent to bout how terrible things are between the two of you..

Call a friend. Whos  discrete..see a Cousellor etc...

The reason I know these things are ...

I went through it as many of u all probably have..

And I was made to choose sides...

I was made to listen to both my parents say things I wasn't supposed to sorry about..

And I felt bad about having a relationship with my dad.. Because my mum hated him..

But its a separate thing entirely...

One of the few things I can say I'm grateful for after my mums passing was getting to know nt dad without fear or judgement...

Let the kids have this special gift if its possible..

If not ... Still try to help them find people in tjier lives that can inspire them and love them so much....

That it makes life a lil more easy to deal with...

After all we want to teach our children how to love not hate...

How to work through things...that are difficult...and not give up ...

If you want to make your child happy... Be willing to go as far as u can to help them see the parent .. Talk to the patent etc if it is possible...

Only you will know...

But if its don't like them or hate them cause its didn't work out...

Remember its not about you.....

Its about their relationship with their parent...

And if you do this without good ... I mean excellent reason ..

Than are only hurting the child u both love...

I'm trying to be nice here.. But if either ones ego is getting in the way of this...

GET OVER YOURSELF!

It's not about you!