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XaviRoseMaiden's blog: "poetry"

created on 05/12/2010  |  http://fubar.com/poetry/b332326  |  2 followers

A poet without a lover

 who has heard of such a thing? ... 

Yet we wander around looking for someone ... 

Someone to understand what it takes ... 

Someone to be able to handle it all ... 

All the romance, all the imagination ... 

Someone not scared ... 

To fall so deep into what is a bottomless ocean ... which we call love .. 

Someone with pure intentions .. 

not just there for show... 

Someone who loves the art ... and can read it with great joy ...

Someone who understand the purpose.. 

Someone willing to go on the journey ... and take out the camera.. to records the moments

So we wander around.... 

We dont settle for the first ... out of lonelieness..

We wait ... for special someone who takes our breath away ... 

the one who we can't bear to be far from for too long ... 

So poet without a lover 

 yearns ... 

And longs for that amazing person... 

And still wont settle .. just to be taken ... 

But when that Loves comes it will be worth writing about .... 

Till then poet without a lover puts down her pen for the night ... 

 

Up North .. 

 It quite literally is so cold, that there is snow... 

Up North it feels strange , a like a skin too tight or too loose to wear ...

I still feel like a florida girl undearneath it all ... 

I'm missing the Warmth of the bright Sunshine ... 

but i have the brightest sunshine of all in my Daughter eyes... 

I'd live through a thousand long winters ...

 Just to look into the those beautiful brown eyes of hers.. 

And be wrappped in those sweet loving arms... 

 

I love her so much its hard to imagine what life was before she came into it ... 

I wouldn't give up a second ... 

Being a mother has changed me in so many ways ... 

It's made my heart so much more tender ... 

and i surrender to my tenderness.. 
It's made my heart more compassionate

And i surrender to my compassion...

Its made me more empathic to others ..

And I surrender to my empathy...

 

As a mother 

I worry ... 

but I refuse to surrender to my worry .. 

As the world sees me im far from perfect ..

But I surrender to my imperfections... 

 

Up North i have many things to be grateful for .. 

And yet a piece of my spirit belong in Florida as well... 

Just like a butterfly....

But I surrender to being a Mother with all that comes with it .... 

We make a pledge that we will put our children first ... 

Even when we desire things so intensely... 

We must wait ... 

such is life ... 

And so life continues Up north... 

Far away from the other life ... 

Onward ...

Marching north step by step .. building a new life... brick by brick ... hold on , dig in .. keep fighting.. for a better life up North...  



 

 

Life's Chalkboard

What would I, my friends and my family write on this chalkboard? in the beginning the things we regret... 
And in the end how would we  feel when we realize we have a clean slate to write on in our lives each and every day ... 
We make choices ... 
But we can't get to new dreams.. doing the things we used to do ... What will be our Legacy?
We have to brave enough try things we've never done, face fears we've never faced .. apologize to people we've hurt ,,, 
We have to be brave enough to continue this journey ... 
We have to be brave enough to meet new people...

Fear is a big one ... 
We can scared of so many things ... 
Fear is not generally a fact , but an emotion ... yet it feels so real at the time it orginates...
Fear can stop us from doing so many good things ... 
Because we're afraid to fail ... 
But the irony is the more we fail the more we succeed... 
And then question is  did we really fail? or we succeeding ? 
its really a matter of perspective , and what you define as successful...

After all this failing , 
Comes Experience , 
Refining of our character ..
The building of inner strength and determination and resiliency 
Learning the importance of Life in its many different facets 
For me i think its important that we never want to give up on ourselves...
 

Each day is a blessing ... 
Tomorrow is not promised ... 
So enjoy the precious moments you have .. hold on to those 
Those are the ones youll tell your grandchildren ,

One day i know i'll be sitting on my porch telling stories

About my life to the neighbourhood kids ... 

I don't want to tell them i didn't live life ... 
I don't want them i never went on adventures ... 
Or that i never did anything interesting ...

I want to tell them about all the amazing people ive met , from the strangers on the street that i never saw again, to the the people that helped and no reason to  ,The people who  wanted to be My friends in the bad times as well as the good ...

The people who gave me hope , where there seemed to be none , the people who loved me for no reason but to love me ...the people who used me for thier own selfish intentions...i would love to teach them all i could about people ...

And of course i want to warm them that everyone has true intentions , Not everyone who says things mean them ... 
But I want them to feel like they come and visit me , while i rock on my chair on some of the quiet afternoons ... 
I want to tell the kids i love them ... And pass on anything could be concieved as wisedom ... 
That's the Lady i want to be ... 
I don't want to be the old Lady crying because ... never did anything i wanted to .. I dont want to be the Old Lady to scared to love ... to scared to dream...to scared to grow old..
I don't want to be the Old Lady who only has cats for friends... 
No I wont be her .... I refuse to be her...

I won't let my spirit of adventure die...  

I wont give up me ... to be with someone...

But if hes the right one , he'll be ready to either come or let my enjoy my adventures on my own..

I won't die alone ...

I won't die unloved...

I won't die without memories ...



Who do you want to be ? ... Man or woman I think its worth thinking about ...

What will your legacy be ? 
.

What would i do with i won Powerball?

What would i do if i won Powerball ,its a good question.. 

It got me thinking about all the people in my life ive met , and the people who need it the most.. my friends , my family .. ..

Well i tell you for a start i coudn't spend it all on me ... 

I couldn't buy all these luxury items... 

I'd give money to non profits ... 

From homeless Shelters which socks and personal care items  to Animal shelters  that need blankets , food, .. Donate Food to the working poor of america.. Homeless Veteran shelters.. 

The simple things we all need ... 

I'd give money to families sufffering from cancer who could pay thier bills...

I'd give money to orphanages .. 

I'd give give money to scholarships for children ... teens, adults

I'd buy a simple house out in the country, not to far from the town .. And give back to my community.

I'd build things there for the children .. there neverseems like enough things for them to ..

An art and music centres so children play , discover and explore , i'd hire good people , who cared.. 

Like beautiful playgrounds .. 

So many things i could see ... 

If i won that money theres no way i could spent it all on me ... 

Theres so much we could do ... 

And you know what we still can even if we don't play the powerball .. 
We can "be the change we wish to see in the world " Like Ghandi Said..

Kindness don't cost a thing..  


You'll Always Be My Little Girl 

You turn thirteen tomorrow

I don't know how i feel 

Seems like just yesterday , we were playing outside on the swings...

Walking in the park , collecting all kinds of things.. 

You were always running , you'd barely ever stop ... 

Not afraid of anything ... 

 

So precious have been your smiles , your laughter.. 

so clever always climbing , discovering , exploring .. 

Always reading and investigiating .. 

Only the subject has changed.. 

 

You talk about boys now , and how cute they are .. 

i worry but i know its part of growing up .. 

Your always going to be my little girl .. 

With bouncy brown girl and shirley temple curls .. 

 

But i still can't beleive you'll be thriteen tomorrow.. 

In Seventh grade .. 

And 5'2

Where did all that time go ? 

If only i knew 

I love you so much ... more than anything in this world .. 

You'll always be my little girl 

Here i am in the winter .. the white , whiteness.. all the colors of winter..The frozen snow , at my feet once again .. I walk the streets alone .. my heart starts to race .. A stranger yet not a strange to this placeThe cold air .. in my lungs .. But not in my heart .. This place still feels like home ... the more i walk ... the more i feel .. its so strange to walk through the town  again .. So many memories here ... I still feel a lil lost.. Like I'm having a deja vu ..So beautiful is life 


I walked into market basket last night , and i didn't even know which aisle to go down ... But as the time passes .. The old maps of the streets i once knew .. come out from the archives I saw one of my awesome friends last night .. It almost seemed like id never been away .. So precious is friendship ..We hugged so tight ...So beautiful is life   

Finally got to meet her little boy .. So precious was that moment .. Time is the thing , we need the most .. we treasure the most .. when we value it .. But it seems like other days .. We want to waste time .. We want to sit and nothing for a moment .So beautiful is life .

 
I drank from lifes precious cup last nightAnd just reflect on things , on places , on people that we have met .. Reflect on the lessons life has taught us ... Sometimes it feels like being between two worlds .. Even three, The Past , The present and the futureSo complex is life and our journies .. But to move forward into the next stage it seems apparent that we must .. Love , forgive , find a way past the hurts .. into the joy that tomorrow brings .. As i sit and i think about the friends i have lost .. i sit i know that was honoured to have them in my life.. honoured to share such a precious of their journies ...So beautiful is life  


As the Rain beats down , like a distant drum .. it matches the rhythm of my fingers typing on the keyboard.. It take it all in How precious is life..We must taste it .. like fine chocolate .. Savour it like the best wine ... Feel it and embrace it like the sweetest hug .. We must develop from the negatives ... Focus on the positives .. And carry on .. Let the journey become new again without yesterday's regrets .. Like the finest picture we could ever on a blank canvas .. I thank god i'm still here .. Still fighting , still breathing ... So thankful i woke up this morning to live another day... Through it all life continues ... So beautiful is life ... . 

 

NEW YEARS RULES

This next year we have ...

To continue following our dreams.. 

We have to work hard .. 

Make great goals that inspire us to better ourselves..

Be grateful for what we have ... 

And give to others whenever we can ... 

And pay it forward into the community!

Without asking for something in return.. 

Love without condition... 

Be brave and coragious 

Enjoy life ... 

And be kind without reward.. 

Be honourable to ones word .. 

Happy New Year 

One and all .. 

Make it be the best that it can be !


 

Life's Lessons... 

The more we live the more we learn.. 

we have to figure which bridges to cross.. 

And which bridges to burn ... 

We have to find our inner happieness.. 

Appreciate and embrace our inner sorrow.. 

But never give up on our new tomorrow... 

 

 

 


It doesn't even feel real yet Just got the call this morning... Was going to see her in a few days... Now she's gone.. My precious friend is gone .. Without any warning.... I miss her already.. I want to know why... She leaves behind a son... And many broken hearts... Rest in peace .... I love you Barbara you were family to me!

Be careful who you confide in..

make sure its someone who really cares..

Before you open your heart ..

And let it in come pouring out..

Some people will only want hear your fine...

When your not finr at all...

Let those people hear your fine...

And tell the trusted ones more...

 

There are a lot of people out there that care beyond themselves...

You just have to find them and be a good friend to them...

Its ok to grieve for loss of a loved one...

Its ok grieve because miss someone so bad your whole heart aches...

Just be careful who you bare your soul..

Not everyone has pure intentions...

If your lonely call a friend... Do something you love... Go for a walk... 

Its not easy being alone over Christmas...

Remember there's a lot of us out there...

Feeling the same way...

You are loved...

Its just hard to see when your coping with so much pain...

 

Be safe all... Together when we care we make a difference...

Love to all...

Xavi

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