XaviRoseMaiden's blog: "thinking , reflecting"

I walk these streets alone , with sometimes only my imagination to me sane... 

i see so much beauty here ... 

its crazy the same river where people die .. while they shoot up .. is the same river i pass by on the bridge and when  the sunlight shine just right it sparkles like gold ... 

So many faceless people .. i barely know any of them ... 

i just hear about them in the neighbourhood , its a regular conversation ... 

who died this week .. it must affect us somehow all this death and talk of it ... 

Ive been gone for too long to be numb to it .. 

it like this town is new .. but the problems are old ... 

im not talking bout pot as the drug that kills .. im talking about herion.. 

im talking bout the crazy disease it is .. and the crazy stuff that happens when they cant get a fix ... 

ive never walked a mile in their shoes .. 

 ive never lost myself to drugs... 

but ive found my own poison in love or the search what it was supposed to be ... 

Love is a kinda like its own herion .. so many people want to die when they feel so alone ... 

Just like they do.. theres no heroin ...

In sobering mood today todfay i read something 23 suicide notes ... 

you know what alot of them had in common ? 

they felt like they didn't belong here ... 

crazy huh ? 

We all feel like that sometimes ... 

but they talked bout suffering each and every day .. 

a constant sadness.. 

it made me sad ... 

im guessing thats how it feels to be judged for using drugs day after day .. 

And i know when our hearts get broken .. we feel like that too for a time ... 

but it doesnt have to end like that ... 

theres still hope .. 

after everything .. we suffer , we grow stronger ... 

more able to survive ... 

No i wont judge , theres millions of people who will do that for me ... i only seek to understand .. to empathise ... to let others know thier not alone in this place we call earth ... 

Love and hugs to all ...