Things Women Say That End New Relationships
>Note: When you meet a great man and you both seem
to fall for each other quickly, it's common to
believe your relationship is "going somewhere".
That is, until he lets you know he's NOT interested
in a "serious relationship". If you don't know
why most men think it's easier to "date" than be
in a relationship with you, and you trigger a
man's natural RESISTANCE when you try and talk
to him about things... then do yourself a huge
favor and read this:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/FCTC/
Dear Crystal,
What's the hardest thing to do
when you're first dating a man you really like?
I'll give you a hint - it's NOT keeping his
interest or attention.
This one thing often means the difference
between a great lasting relationship coming
together... or a man wanting to leave.
So, do you know what this one thing is?
I'll tell you...
It's having that first "talk" with a man
about your feelings, your relationship, and
where things are going.
In case you didn't realize it yet, this
first serious talk you have with a man can
tell him more about you and what your future
relationship will be like in his mind than
anything else you do.
Now, did you also know that for most single
women this is the pivotal moment in time where
the "wheels start to come off" with a man?
More "potentially" great relationships
come to an end sooner than they should have
because of how this first "talk" goes... and
the relationship never has a chance to grow.
If you want the quickest and surest way to
get to know how a man thinks about a relationship
with a woman and why he either SHUTS DOWN and
RESISTS you when you try and talk about your
relationship...
Or why he becomes even more EMOTIONALLY
ENGAGED and excited about being with you as
a result of your "talk"... then you need to go
and read this in-depth letter that's filled with
insights and answers:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/FCTC/
Ok, back to it.
Let me explain a little bit about how and
why things go wrong for most women when they
try and have "the talk".
Think about this...
Before trying to have the talk, things are
usually fun and easy... and the guy you're with
thinks you're incredible and feels relaxed and
acts open and loving around you.
He's communicative, affectionate, and is
constantly wanting to spend time with you.
But the moment you try and actually TALK
about what's happening between you, he starts
acting VERY different.
Instead of being drawn closer to you as a
result of you wanting to talk... he suddenly
starts acting like you're PRESSURING him.
Arrrggggh!
Even though all you want to do is talk and
share your feelings.
Why are men so predictable this way?
I'll get to why this is in a second... and
tell you what you can do to make any "talk"
you have about your relationship with a man
bring you CLOSER, instead of push you apart.
But first... here's what I find most
fascinating about this critical moment in time-
If you're like lots of women, then it's
YOU who decides that it's time to have "the talk"
and you start the conversation.
(Hint #1 - When you're the one to start a
conversation about a specific topic, you have
an incredible OPPORTUNITY to "steer" the
conversation in the direction you'd like it to
go. But only if you know how and only if you're
willing to take the incredible RESPONSIBILITY
that goes along with the opportunity you get
with this.)
Unfortunately, most women DON'T initiate
the talk from an entirely "positive" place.
And more importantly, most women don't do
and say things in this talk that gets a man to
RESPOND and OPEN UP in a positive and loving way.
Instead, they end up "accidentally" having
the talk at some less than ideal time because
their EMOTIONS get the best of them and take
over the conversation completely.
Danger!
I call this being on "auto-pilot", where the
feelings and thoughts you are having literally
take control... and you no longer consciously
CHOOSE what you want to do and say.
Now, I'm sure you already know where this
will get you with a man you're close to.
It will get you NOWHERE. FAST.
But am I saying it's bad or "wrong" to have
strong or intense emotions, and to share them
with a man?
No.
I get that when you have a whole lot of
feelings for a man, and a lot of things that
are going UNSHARED between you... it can be
frustrating and tiring to "carry" all this
around and wait for the right moment to talk
to him.
You should be able to share your thoughts
and feelings with a man.
But it shouldn't be so difficult with a man
who's mature and got his act together, right?
Wrong.
The reality is that "the talk" with a man
isn't hard because he doesn't "get it".
It's hard because of the situation that is
created in the way you start the talk, and the
feelings YOU are bringing to it that a man
senses and responds to.
Here's the point...
If you keep on thinking that men just don't
get it and act strange when you try and talk
to them about "real" things, then guess what's
going to happen?
You're going to keep getting BAD RESULTS
each time you decide to share the way you
feel with a man and want to talk to him.
And...
You're NEVER going to get to a place where
you can UNDERSTAND MEN. Let alone interact and
talk with a man in a way that let's you be
"honest" with your feelings AND causes a man
to want to be closer to you after the fact.
The reality is, if you've struggled and had
bad outcomes by trying to have the talk with a
man in the past... things are obviously not
working for you.
But not for the REASONS you believe.
There's something going on here for you at
A DEEPER LEVEL... and with the way a man responds
to you.
And until you understand what those things
are both for YOU and for HIM, you're bound to
keep repeating the same mistakes with men
over and over in the same relationship patterns.
(Hint #2 - What YOU are feeling, and what's
going on inside YOU, turns out to be exactly what
makes the talk with a man take a turn for the
worse. It's not just that he isn't capable of
"getting it" or listening.)
Of course, if you want to keep on blaming
men for being the ones who can't communicate
and who don't get it... you're free to do so.
But don't get frustrated and upset the next
time you get the SAME RESULTS with a NEW MAN
you're dating.
The Thing That Makes Him Not Want To Talk
Something fascinating happens when you
start to have strong feelings for a man you've
been dating for a short while-
Even if you tell yourself you're going to
take it slow and "play it smart"... you can't
help but start to quickly grow ATTACHED.
And in fact, your own feelings start to
sneak up on you.
And once you recognize this, something
inside YOU changes that creates a huge "shift"
in your relationship and the way a man feels
when he's around you...
You recognize that for your own SAFETY and
sanity, you need to find out what "the deal"
is with this guy BEFORE things go any further,
and you share even more of your heart, mind, and
body.
So you decide you'd like to simply talk with
your guy and see where he's at.
But deep down, something inside YOUR MIND
has already changed.
And as you get into the conversation, and
you start getting an idea that he's not as into
your relationship as you are... something else
instantly shifts in you...
You shift from wanting to simply talk and
share more around your LOVE and AFFECTION for
each other and keep things going, and you feel
and talk about something else entirely.
And it's at this point that suddenly a new
emotional element gets introduced into the
conversation.
FEAR and UNCERTAINTY.
But what's worse, it's YOUR fear and certainty
about where things are going, and what might go
wrong that starts to make him feel strange and
start acting DISTANT.
In just a few short moments, you've gone
from wanting to talk with him to feeling
worried and anxious, to NEEDING to know what
he's feeling and what he wants to try and feel
better.
But of course he doesn't have an answer
for you. He doesn't know what he wants. And
now things are no better than before.
In fact, now he's acting DISTANT and gets
more and more WITHDRAWN as time goes on.
Now... here's a question for you-
When you show up with all these quickly
shifting emotions going on inside your mind...
and all this fear and uncertainty about how a
man is feeling and going to respond to you, can
you guess what will happen next.
I'll tell you.
He ends up SHARING the fear and uncertainty
that you're feeling.
But instead of it making him want to turn
TOWARDS you and figure out what's going on and
what this is about... he TURNS AWAY from you.
(Hint #3 - Emotions are CONTAGIOUS. If you
are carrying around some kind of fear or negative
feeling and you start talking with someone you're
close to, they will sense your emotional "state"
and respond to it. And with men, when they sense
emotional uncertainty and fear inside a woman
they're dating, their gut-level reaction is to
GET AWAY!)
Now, a man will share your fears, and respond
negatively to your uncertainty no matter how
"good" or loving your intentions are.
It's not just your intention that matters...
It's the feelings and emotions you bring to
"the talk" that shape the way you SAY and DO
everything... and therefore also shapes the way
the man you're with SEES you and FEELS when he's
around you.
And for most women, when they bring a level
of fear and uncertainty to the first "talk"
with a man... it tragically marks THE BEGINNING
OF THE END.
By wanting to talk about your relationship
in order to make it better... you can end up
having the exact OPPOSITE EFFECT on your
relationship than you set out for.
WHY TRYING HARDER OR TALKING MORE DOESN'T WORK
WITH A MAN... AND WHAT TO DO INSTEAD
Let me ask you a very direct question...
Have you ever talked a man into doing
something he didn't want to do?
If you've spent much time around men at
all and know anything about how men can be...
then you know that trying to "push" a man
into something has just one result-
The harder you push... the harder he'll try
to RESIST you.
Let me be really honest with you right
now.
Reading all of this, you might be feeling
even more frustrated than you were before.
This is a good thing.
Here's why- if something about me describing
in detail the situation where things go wrong
with a man, the things you feel, and how he
responds gets to you... then the reality is
that there is some "truth" in this for you.
But more importantly, it also means that
there's an important lesson that you could
learn here.
If you're tired of trying to be the one
to change and adapt to make things work with
a man... then I get where you're coming from.
But here's the thing-
You can waste all the energy in the world
trying to get the results you want with men,
dating, and relationships.
But if you're not doing WHAT WORKS with
men, then your energy could be endlessly
drained and wasted. It wouldn't matter
how hard you tried, or how much you wanted
things to work out... or how good of a person
or a woman you are.
None of that will matter if you're still
not doing the right things.
I can't tell you how many women write to
me and share that they wished they had come
across my eBook and my other programs years
and years ago.
It would have saved them literally years
of wasted time, energy, and tears by doing all
the wrong stuff.
I don't want you to continue to have to
try and make what doesn't work with men work
for you, out of sheer will and determination.
When you find what works in life, it's
amazing how quickly everything seems to fall
into place.
You probably know this feeling already
where things just seem to "flow", and each
situation in life comes to have a significant
and meaningful purpose that connects to all
the others you're having.
And all the people and relationships
around you just simply fall into place for
you with no "effort" at all.
Do you know that feeling and that mental,
emotional, and spiritual place I'm talking
about?
Good. Because I want to show you how to
start enjoying that right now when it comes
to men and dating.
In my "Ready For Love" program I share
the step by step process for putting yourself
back in the right place in your life where
the right situations and the right choices
and decisions simply show up for you and start
to work.
If you're ready once and for all to break
the negative patterns that keep repeating in
your love life, then it's time you created that
magical "shift" in your life that is going to
change everything.
You already know deep down inside that a
man is NOT going to come along and "rescue" you.
Not that you would really want this once
you saw what it was really like for a man
to treat you this way, and for you to be this
kind of "helpless" woman.
And sure, it would be great to keep
believing that once a man figures it out that
things will all work out for good.
But here's what I've learned...
The people (and the women) who are happiest
and have the relationships they want in their
lives are the ones who take the INITIATIVE to
create what they want - regardless of whether
other people around them don't "get it".
If you want the kind of CONFIDENCE that
comes from knowing you can create and have
what you want with a man... then you've got
to start in the place where all the "power"
is.
And that's INSIDE YOU.
If you're ready to stop feeling uncertain
about who you are to a man and you'd like to
quickly regain that NATURAL CONFIDENCE that will
draw the right man to you without you having
to try so hard...
And you'd like any easy way to move past
the pain and frustration from your past
relationships that you wish didn't effect
you anymore but is still holding you back
and keeping you from being your "best self"...
Then you need to check out my "Ready For
Love" program on CD or DVD right now.
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/ReadyForLove/
And if you're looking for the quickest
way to learn what's going on inside a man's
mind when it comes to how YOUR FEELINGS make
him feel... and you'd like to learn the 5 step
process I've discovered that is sure to have a
man open up in a positive and loving way each
and every time you want to "talk"...
Then you need to download my eBook right
now and read the section in it that's all
about how to communicate with a man and move
your relationship forward when things feel
stuck.
Chapter 9 of my eBook is all about this,
from where to start when you're thinking about
sharing something important with a man, to
"speaking his language, to what to do and say
first, second, and third, and finally how
to let him know WHAT YOU WANT. (And do it
in a way that makes him want it too)
But what has probably helped women the
most in this specific Chapter of my eBook
is the section where I share the "Secret
Communication Button" inside a man.
There's a way to connect with a man through
your words that will remove any and all
RESISTANCE he might be holding on to with
you and your relationship.
In my eBook I show you exactly what to say
in order to push this magic "button" on a man
and have him not only asking you to share more...
but he'll be feeling a kind of deep EMOTIONAL
CONNECTION with you that men secretly crave
with a woman, but don't know how to create
for themselves.
You can quickly become that "cool woman"
a man tells his friends about who he can't wait
to be around.
The kind of woman a man feels like he can
tell anything to and be truly honest with.
When a man feels this way with a woman,
it's then that he will truly start to open
up and become excited at the idea of a more
LASTING and COMMITTED relationship with you.
Unfortunately, most women never learn how
to get to this level of connection and sharing
with a man.
In fact, they end up accidentally making
a man NOT want to share what's really going
on inside him - which only hurts you both.
So don't wait and try to figure all this
out for yourself after weeks or months of
more "trial and error" that only gets you
nowhere with a man.
You can download my eBook right now and
be reading it literally in just a few minutes.
And best of all, you can try it absolutely
free and read the entire thing to see if it's
really for you BEFORE deciding whether or
not you want to pay for it.
It's really that simple.
Just give it a try. The only thing you
have to lose is what hasn't been working in
the past.
Download my eBook "Catch Him & Keep Him"
right now here:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/eBook/
If you've been dating a man and patiently
waiting around for him to finally recognize
what an amazing "catch" you are and want to
"seal the deal" with you and finally start
having a real and loving relationship...
The reality is you might be waiting around
for him for a loooooooong looooooong time.
And I think in the back of your mind you
know that the passing of more time isn't
going to somehow change his feelings, who he
is, or his reasons for NOT wanting to be
more "serious" with you in the first place.
Waiting longer isn't the answer.
Trying harder to convince him that he
should want a relationship or else, isn't
the answer either.
If you're like most women, you've already
tried these things and they haven't worked.
Actually, they've made things worse.
If you're looking to finally understand
once and for all why a man who can have such
strong feelings for you would NOT WANT TO BE
WITH YOU in a loving and committed relationship,
then I can help.
But understanding WHY is just the first
step that I can help you with.
Knowing WHAT to do about the RESISTANCE
and FEAR a man has about having things get
more serious with you is where you get to
use your understanding and CREATE what you
want in your love life.
Of course, if you don't understand WHY
a man can feel like "dating" and not being
in a relationship with you, even if he loves
you, then you'll get nowhere.
And a man won't ever see or feel like you
understand where he's coming from and want to
open up and let you in.
Luckily, I've created exactly what you
need to know if you're ready to move past that
"casual" stage with a man where he isn't quite
sure what he wants... and you'd like instead
to have him wanting more from you.
Part of what you need to know involves how
to use ATTRACTION to move your relationship
forward with a man... instead of WORDS.
A man doesn't fall for a woman, and he
doesn't COMMIT to her on a physical or an
emotional level because he has a great
conversation with a woman.
He does all this because of how a woman
makes him FEEL.
So if you don't understand what a man is
thinking in your relationship, and what to
do next to keep things growing without
triggering his "resistance response"... then
you're going to have a very hard time.
My "From Casual To Committed" program is
THE GUIDE to how relationships and commitment
works for men.
In it, I literally draw out all
the steps you need to know and go through in
order for a man to feel committed to you and
want to be with you and only you.
It's time you stopped wondering "what's
wrong with him"... and started creating what
it is that YOU want in your love life.
Go here now and read all the details and
some free tips and videos from this amazing
program:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/12833/FCTC/
I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck
in Life and Love.
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
