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ok so somewhere i have lost myself or forgotten who i am or once was....i am currently havng trouble figuring out where i went or am hiding...i had a friend tell me that they think i am depressed and it should be expected and that i have shut down emotionally...i dont know if this is true but i do know i really have nothing to care about or any desire to find anything because it seems i dont get the same in return.....i feel alone here with only people i work with for friends...dont ge me wrong i do appreciate them because they do care but its just "me".....and that is how i feel a small little me in a great big world i dont fit in.....i feel like the world is passing me by and i am powerless to stop it......all i want to do is drown myself in liquor and just say fuck it all.....before i go any further i should say i do appreciate those of you here that i interact with on a regular basis it has helped me tons at times when i felt like this....right now i just need a shoulder to cry on that cares why i am hurting instead of how long its gonna take me to get done.....i dont know what to do where to go or how to help myself....not so easy when your on the inside looking out as opposed to being on the outside looking in....ok enough for now and sorry if i have offended anyone with my pain....i have certainly offended enough people already in my day to day life
