White Buffalo's blog: "random stuff"

I have uttered this phrase more than once along with "everything happens for a reason"....I really try to practice what i preach and not let things get to me but its hard when you have had the life I have lived so far....i dont want to rrlive all of it but i do want to talk finally about the latest tragedy/roadblock......I have 3 sons one in new mexico and 2 who are in oklahoma....my youngest prestyn "supposedly" locked himself in a car trunk and died....I was devistated because i have not been a good father i made a mstake and followed what i thought was love only to get my heart destroyed not broke destroyed...so now my baby is gone and i only have the option of riding a bus to oklahoma to the funeral or not going there at all...i went...only to get the news that my baby isnt mine but my best friend and brother jasons and that my ex knew since right after we got divorced but to screw me out of child support money she never said a word....out of everything though i must ask why she didnt cry when interviewed by the media not only why didnt she how come she was able to speak at all...i was so devistated by it when someone tried to talk to me about why i was crying on the bus i moved or went and sat in the bathroom...and i realize there will be those who will try and disagree with me on her reactions...look it up on fox news  channel 5 and channel 9 out of oklahoma city it happened on the 7th and his name is listed as prestyn shayne mahan...i just dont understand how someone can be so cold and indifferent so much so that the topic of conversation at the funeral was about trading the car he died in for a new one because the car lot promised her good credit....what the hell is that about?......ok i am getting angry again so i will stop here....i just dont understand is all