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What are you waiting for?
See what I did there?
No. You did not.
Anyway, it's predawn, and I just woke up from a very ellaborate closure dream... y'know, the ones where you get to scream in the face of your most hated person or what have you?
Well it was all a very detailed metaphor of all the lies she told herself, all the lies I told myself, and I was just... kinda pissed that my brain is still doing this after 15 months.
The best part was I played the part of "it wasn't ALL your fault" and I ran through what I occasionally kicked myself for
I even said "hey it wasn't that bad, you only hit me a few times".
It was all her fault. I mean yeah, I wasnt the most confident interesting and financially stable (sugar daddy) out there at the time-
hearing my subconcious say that shit... really pissed me off.
Sure there were things I could do different, things I could've done better ...
Why should I have had to?
I was dating an ex coke addict pissed off at me for making her quit.
A dropout bug burning barwhore.
Someone that couldn't grasp that 2 packs a day isn't supported by a less than part time job.
Yeah... I hate my ex. Yeah she was abusive and psychotically possessive while expecting me to let her whore about.
And yeah, I HATE the part of me that forgives her.
Cuz apparently its still there, and it is STILL making excuses for her.
Not a big deal. My shrink told me not to sweat every minor set back as a major failure when I was doing anxiety managment.
I can live with a panic attack once a year.
I can live with the occasional closure dream.
Doesn't mean I want her back.
The best part is, she was even in an idealized form during the dream.
She was in a different, more attractive body and more agreeable.
Maybe it was a closure dream, maybe it was a warning to remember how things really were.
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Now what was I saying about second albums?
Raconteurs. Consolers of the lonely
it is NOT just the mature form of the white stripes
but good fucking god... this shit is bluesy bohemian rock with the occasional horn section.
Messenger of sympathy and love, servant of parted friends, consoler of the lonely, bond of the scattered family, enlarger of the common life
Charles William Eliot
Vocals shifts up a bit between Jack and Brendan Benson.
I certainly hope that the formation of a third group The Dead Weather has nothing to do with a split in the Raconteurs. Their first album will be out June 9th.
I saw the potential in album 1, I'm seeing the maturation of an amazing sound now. I wonder if there will be a perfection?
It has been on repeat since I downloaded it.
Yes. I steal music.
But as my CD writer doesn't WORK I might buy the CD so I can hear it in my car.
Or spend 50$ on a generic MP3 player and give my old man all my CDR's >>
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So what wisdom do I have to impart today?
Life is an adventure, and I need some wings so I can enjoy it.
I'm not the man I was last year, last decade, or even last week.
Shit's been changing a lot lately.
I just want some real work so I can build my empire and burn my trail to my dreams.
