70594's blog: "The random babbelings of an 18 year old soul"

this week = fantastic no other words could describe it. i left FIT on friday afternoon and im returning the monday after that, after one of the greatest weeks of my entire life. i saw all my friends, went to an amazing concert, got back the man of my dreams, ate dinner with the family, stood cuddling with chris and partying it up with lisa on the line outside best buy for black friday, spent SO much time with chris that i thought teh word was going to blow up- we never get to see eachother this much, it was quite a treat seeing him every day for about 9 days <3. its really great to have him back as mine and only mine- i missed calling him my boyfriend and the month we were apart was pretty miserable, aparently just as much for him as for me. Thanksgiving was amusing, minus the fact that i’ve had this mouth infection all week so i couldnt uh- eat. but hey ill start at thebeginning i guess got home friday night from the train and went straight to see Clue at the high school. very very very very funny. came back from clue with Kat and slept over and chilled- quite fun. we awoke to a massive basket of fruit, and consumed it while i spent the morning on the fone with student health and genovese trying to get my birth control perscription refilled- needless to say, that failed miserably as i played fone tag the rest of teh week...bleh. went home and hung around till christopher got off work and picked me up to go see anna and his ex girlfriend and her boyfriend, which turned into a huge sobb fest since the girls boy decided to blow her off for another chick- hah it was kinda ruff. but we went to zumies and spenscers and shopped around and what not, then drove to teh high school and ccame in to see everbody after the closing show ended, and to introduce chris because everyone has heard about him but no one has ever met him. then chris and i went and hung out, he dropped me off and i tried ot get some sleep-- silverstein concert on sunday <333.... the show turned out to be fan-fucking-tastic, so many great bands, and Irving Plaza is a great venue! the train ride in i tried to sleep but failed. we walked to FIT and i dropped my stuff off in the dorm and we walked to irving which was about a half hour- my feet were killing me. but once we got there i was loving every second of it, Anna, jess, chris and I basically stuck togeather the whole night- and by stuck i mean grabbed onto one another in this massive pit of people beating the shit out of eachother. i wanted to crowd surf but chris’ protective side kicked in and he said no, so i decided to mosh instead and got hit in the face by someones fist, and kicked in the arm...shortly after i managed to undergo a panic attack.... but that was towards teh end of the night, and it still kicked ass. words cant even express how much fun i had! and it was nice to have chris with his arms wrappeda round me all night making sure i didnt get pummeled and thrown on the floor during the massive circle pits <3. the walk bak from irving was an ohsolong one. then we went to penn and grabbed something to eat and caught the train. the ride home i sorta slept in a ball on chris’ lap and anna and jess got hit on by 27 year old drunk cops with wives and kids...haha it was pretty hysterical. chris drove me home and i hit the pillow and was out cold till late teh next afternoon when i awoke to find myself unable to move....every muscle in my body hurt, and i was bruised. so i spent teh day on the couch till i went to hang out with lisa!!!! <33333 this bitch, oh i missed her. we hung around grandmas for afew hours and drank an entire bottle of cherr wine *good times, good times*, then chris came by and met her and we hung out for afew and then went back to his hosue to watch Slither and talked about a lot of things, again. every time we hang otu we talk and it makes our friendship/relationship so much better, like weight gets lifted off, and thigns that both of us have wanted to say get to be said..... Tuesday i hung out with lisa again, the usual partying and what not, hanging out being our stupid selves. Wednesday i got to see akilah!!! we had a womens ceremony for her 18th birthday and all shared wisdom and stories about her and bonded and what not. it was a totally girly thing but it was a lot of fun, we kicked the boys into the basement and sat upstairs hanging out. then when it ended we all went into the basement for-- GUITAR HERO 2!!! <33 ah man it was fantastic, and im not too rusty! and more importantly- chirs came over and we all PWND his ass in it, hes awful. its kinda funny, and most definately embaressing....... then i started to feel sick so he took me home, i dont rememember anything else except that chris asked me to be his girlfriend again :-) i was really shocked he had decided to take the step and make it official, but i was glad. we talked and i made sure he was okay with taking things ot the next step and he was. thursday would be thanksgiving, which was sorta miserable for me because all week id been on a no-solids diet because of my goddamn wisdom tooth coming in and my whole mouth being swolen, but i managed to enjoy 95% of the food tatw as there: except turkey! :’(. then most of the family came back to my house plus the boyfriend, and we chilled and played video games and watched TV and all that good stuff, until about 2am then we all headed over to best buy to wait online-- me, chris, mom, ray, lisaaaaaaa muffin, and angela...we were cracked teh fuck outta our minds off caffeine and lack of sleep. it was great. but best buy ran out of tickets for our computers so we said fuck it and went to get breakfast lol. then all retired to our beds for a very long friday of lounging around doing nothing yet again at the house. oh yea, and mark showed up of course for the holiday so he was hanging out with us too- thats a whole story in itself. ummmm wat else. oh so friday yeah we all chilled around the house, schi and hosking came over <3333333, so yet again again partying <3, then at some point mark spilled a beer on my laptop and i freaked out when i discorvered it (2 hours later), and cried --oh joy. i was so mad. but its over, and fixed, and most of the keboard is functioning again thanks to my emonerd so im okay for now.... but i did cry and was really upset.... mom and dad were not happy come saturday morning, which caused me to say screw this and leave the house with lisa where we remained at grandmas for the day chatting about our men, amongst other things--like how lisa wants to gauge her ears.....oh boy did that set us up for the rest of the weekend....chris got off work early and we had him take us to the mall to buy tapers and plugs, and tim came over, and we spent afew hours tring to put the tapers in and get her up to an 8...which turned out to be a much larger project than ANyONE cold have anticipated ....a lot of screaming, and blood.... but it was a bonding experience lol. we hung out the night at grandmas until tim and lisa went to grab food and chris and i talked for alittle while then went out to grab some dinner at fridays and went back to the house to chill with lisa for awhile and try again on her ear...it ended badly. chris bounced really early and lisa and i decided to hit the hay, which would bring us to sunday morning.....me being really tired and lisa having realy really bloody ears haha. i fet SOOOO bad for her <3. she got her emo razor blade of honour tho- and chris and i got a kick out of trying to help her through this entire fiasco.. so basically we all lounged around today and ate food and laughed at one another and tried to do lisas ears again for a final attempt before seh went back to coby. turns out she just bleeds too much and we can do it :-/ another time ill give it a shot like christmas break hehe. i cant wait to see her again man i missed her like nobodies business <3. she.is.the.sex. <3 . then chris came over and hung out and set up my house with wireless, put my brothers psp and Wii online, and fixed my laptop- so he got about 1000000 gold stars from me, and made himself look good.haha. so yeah, this weekend was pretty eventful and fantastic and i love my friends and missed them dearly and im glad to have my boyfriend back and im excited i got to see my muffin fluff <3 and everything. is. good. *melissa*

its so hard being so bipolar one weekend im coming home from FIT, sitting on the train wondering why im leaving the people i love to see people i cant stand. and other times im departing from the bay shore station completely depressed, wondering how i can return to people that dont appreciate me and never will- quite the way im appreciated in bay shore. sometimes its both. i can be headed home on a friday so excited, and by sunday i cant wait to get back on the LIR and get the fuck off of that island. i wish i knew what it was like to be stable. to have something constant in life that you could always rely on. that you know will always make you happy. i wish i was dependant on drugs or alcohol. something that would always be there for me... but ive seen it fail too many times. ive seen it go wrong so often. i wish i had a boyfriend that i knew would be at the station waiting for me every friday and upset saying goodbye to me each monday morning- but knowing wed be togeather again in less than 5 days. sometimes the wishes that fill the head of this little girl are obscene. sometimes theyre simple. some days, i just wish id come home and thered be a bunch of people at my house- for me. who came home to see me adn talk about school and see how i was doing in the early stages of my life.. and other days i wish i could come home and there would be no one there just an empty house. i could blast music and walk around naked if i wanted to.. just be me. often i fee like i enjoy coming home so much- because running into old school friends and teachers makes me feel important, always wondering what i’m up to, and entirely fascinated by the concept of artschool and its lack of boundries and empowerment of creativitiy. i feel like an adult, being invited to go grab coffee and talk about school and life. talking to my highschool-aged friends and they rave about my new hair and make me feel important for once in my life. i miss bay shore- no one will treat me like they do. im not bragging, but i was a celeb. people knew my name, they screamed it down hallways, they bombarded me wiht hugs, and my siblings get harassed about me constantly.Each time i come home i get that again- while i sit at FIT and barely get a glance from my classmates and sometimes i wonder if they only talk to me to act like the civilized human beings they are pretending so hard to be. I go to see a drama production at BSHS and im practically raped backstage by all teh kids i left behind- they seem glad to see me. and they dont even ask me about school, the just talk like we’re sitll the way we were. How hott rossi is, how gay jason is, how much we think Mr Bilella is going to freak out for opening night, and ‘how big of a whore’ i am. oh the love i feel <3, how accepted i consier myself when i poke my head into marchingband or pass by the fooddrives and people wave and actually--seem excited to see me. glad to know im around, alive, well, and want to know everything ive been up to. even if their lying their asses off and just trying to be curtious- it makes me feel like a human being... like people care about me. and yeah peopel around FIT look at me and wave, and smile, and occasionally i get invited to sit with the pretty girls from down the hall at dinner when they see me eating alone- as i do most nights because i have strange eating habits at peculiar hours. And sometimes my friends will call me to go out to grab a bite or roam up to time square... but they never seem excited to see me, or to be doing much of anything for that matter. as much as i love sitting in my dorm room and wasting my hours talking to chris, who dont get me wrong makes me feel entirely amazing-- i would love for people to come knock on my door and say “GET UP WE’RE GOING OUT!” and get al fancied up to do somethign stupid like go to burger king, or get decked out and look like we’re the shit just go to to that shitty tempest bar and watch all the drunk girls get hit on by the middleaged balding men. i show up to bay shore and am welcomed with open arms, and even tho im around there nearly as much as im around the city- they just seem to be happy to see me.. i feel like a human being. i hate that i spend more time in bay shore than i do at school, because i should be taking advantage of all the things the big city has to offer-- just like everyone in my life keeps telling me...... but i miss feeling like somebody. i miss knowing people care about me. i miss going to sleep at night knowing ill wake up the next morning and see the people i love, who love me back. walking into the cafiteria to find brian and andrew plotting their world domination, and the punk emo wannabee kids in a cirle with their dyed hair and conz bashing bush and talking about how they should legalize marijuana. i miss peaking into the bandroom at an early hour to find scalzo and rotello chatting, smelling of coffee, and just listening to them bullshit until they notice me- and ask me what i’ve been up to. seeing people who notice when i change my hairstyle or colour, or see that ive lost or gained 20 lbs, and mention that i have on a new blouse. as small as my college is- i still feel like a number. teachers who dont know my name when we’re nearing the end of semester, classmates who dont know my whole life story-- nore do they wish to hear even a chord from it. its strange growing up in a place like bay shore, where things like that are-- not important, but just known... and going to the big city where no one could give two shits about you. all my life ive felt like a city girl... i never wanted anything more than to live a crazy poor life on the shitty side of town sipping bitter coffee and smoking the 2nd pack of cigarettes id started since noon, writing words and taking images and expressing the way i feel...too bad the way i feel now is not the way i remember feeling. the coffees gotten too popular i smoke my nicotine from a glass bong, and the closest im getting to a shitty side of town is crammed into a crappy dorm room in a hall nearly full of overly-made up girls with dreams of being the next big thing in vouge fashion, and their biggest worry being how their hair looks at 8am.... do you know ive never even seen a vouge magazie? ive never opend the cover of valoure, and i didnt know who the fuck cindy crawford was untilt hsi weekend???.....everything in my life is based on the theories of popularity and acceptance, who and what other people deem as ‘in’.....this is not the person i am. i find fashion evil, i find it ruins society and i find it assimilated with that of a cult following-- just what we need, another reason to segregate people.... we have people who decide what is beautiful! There is a mask to compare ourselves to (and this isnt even figuratively speaking, it really exists!) to decide if we are ‘attractive’... and who knows what attractive is anymore, because everythin will change in a few months... i dont know what i’m doing wiht my life... i dont know why i’m here anymore. i’m doing all the things i never wanted to do... but i cant take for granted the fact that i am in one of the best schools in the country that will give me the best opportunities in life, that can lead me down a successful path...... the question is , is it really worth it for me to be miserable for the next 4 years in hope that ill be successful later on because of it? i say “No day but today”.... and for the last few months- ive been living just the opposite....a complete and utter lie--- hoping for the future to be a good outcome based on what im doing now. who am i to be giving advice to people...when i cant help myself?

their eyes roll into the back of their head + their breathing staggering = amazing. ((blog inspired by a Mu about watching your partner during sexual acts or not looking at them, lol.))

I want the vinyls in his will! nothing brings me back like the crackling and popping of dark hollow rotating around my fathers old turntable and blaring out of the boes speakers that he had since he was my age. Dancing around in an oversized teeshirt and nothing else back at the old house with our grey carpet and ugly furnature, waiting for mom to come back from grocery shopping, making a train around the house and angela and i never failling to make the needle skip and hear my dad go OH NOOO! <3 Dark Hollow Lyrics Grateful Dead I'd rather be in some dark hollow where the sun don't ever shine Then to be at home alone and knowin' that you're gone Would cause me to lose my mind. Well blow your whistle freight train carry me far on down the track Well I'm going away, I'm leaving today I'm goin', but I ain't comin' back. I'd rather be in some dark hollow where the sun don't ever shine Then to be in some big city, in a small room, with you upon my mind. Well I'm going away, I'm leaving today I'm goin' but I ain't comin' back.

ive been putting off updating since friday but not for any real reason- just the fact that i procrastinate, a lot. So ill recap from friday until today- 5am, on sunday morning....lol friday Caitie, Steve, Joe and I headed to the meatpacking industry for our digital class assignment and basically took the entire time just getting there- because we were all easily distracted by fun things like the homeless---or not homeless man since he gave steve his adress to mail the photos we took of him- man who performed for us on the streetcorner, and messing around with joes fisheye that he rented from the cage, stopping to get caities colors to 'pop', and walking into bakeries that smelt good, photo equiptment rental places with 'cute boys' as caitie put it (totally not cute, blehh), the chelsea market, and of course at some point we DID photograph the sign we needed to shoot, among other things..... i was sorta dreading the trip because it was alittle chilly and i wasnt really in the mood to go-- but the boys and caitie made it not so bad. then i came back and pretty much crashed- i was exhausted... so i sat in bed and watched some movies until caitie showed up and kidnapped me for some burgerking, and we decided to kidnapp steve as well because now that shes in the same building as us- we are all included in everything, hahah... so she, steve and i went to BK which didnt accept creditcards, so there fore i got no food :-( and they sat and chowed down on burgers and fries,, but its okay i didnt really NEED bk, lol...... then i went back to the room and messed around on the computer then sleepy time, to wak up saturday morning-----err, afternoon: 230pm, and find the cafiteria is closed till 430- so my starving ass that hadnt eaten since friday morning decided to trek around the blocks nearby to find a place that accepted plastic, and only subway seemed to ... so i got a sandwhich, bad soup, and went to chipotle for chips <33, then back to the dorm where i basically vegged out in bed watching movies and talking online--to chris of course because hes the only one ever on..... we talked about some really important stuff actually; or at least it was important to me, he was probably sitting on his end at the computer going "omggggg i hate this bitchhhh", but i dont care- i meant everything i said, and my feelings about her are what they are, and i think im right..... and there is just a whole big scenario, but i hope now he realizes where i'm coming from, and we start acting like REAL friends who hang out and do stuff togeather....then i sorta just kicked back and relaxed until aly called me to come out way later, so i went to asians room and met up and we talked about stuff going on with everyone, its a shame all the drama us college kids have--its like middleschool all over again... then we bounced to go to McDonalds for some dinner, and i returned to my dorm shortly after to put on Totoro in japanese and read subtitles and bullshit online as i usually do late nights....then jon called me half drunk around 2am to ask if we were supposed to set our clocks back.... i had no idea wtf he was talking about so i googled it--apparently we were. i checked with steve just to make sure lol... glad he said it cuz i wouldve never remembered to change teh alarm clock!!!!>.... thennnnn. at some point i heard steves voice out front and poked my head to the window to see Joseph and Nick and Steve on the bench, so it was pitch black in my room and i just scream JOSEPH and stick my hadn out, and he gets totally startled and then nick told me to come meet them down there-- by the time i got there steve had dissipeared, so i invited joe and nick to my room where it was WARM, and we sat around bulshitting until we decided that our thirsts needed quenching, lol- so we walked to the "convenience store"- BODEGA, and purchased a 2liter of Dr pepper and an arizona tea while the boys checked out an ugly girl. then stopped off at Rosas for a slice and saw drunk girls in high heels and togas carrying pizza boxes to a taxi hahaha.... joe will be sporting that outfit by weeks end if i have anything to do with it!. back to my room where nick proceeded to drink nearly half the bottle of dr pepper via two straws stuck togeather, lol, and we sat around talking about class and informing him of our amusing lecture friday from styling "every once in awhile you have to be the one to bitchslap the whore".... nicks coming to class next friday to view pat and her amazing teaching <3 lol... i told steve to get his ass down here and hang out and he did- accompanied by 3 Brand New albums for me :-D so i uploaded those and we listend to them and bullshitted some more, lol... it was fun, especially since other than in class and the occasional dinner in the cafe- i never hang out with steve and joe, and i dont see nearly as much of nick as i would like to <3 lol i loooove that kid so much :-) so it was nice to have them all hanging out in the room, and then aly came over and we talked about borris and natasha <3 amongst other things- and she drew me a great picture of Penis=<3 on some sticky lint roll hahaha, its currently on my wall. Nick left, and we put on Dave Atell because joe felt the need to turn off the Brand New demos to allow us to listen to this-- it was almost worth it lol, i wont like Dave Atell is pretty funny........."what you never want to hear when a girl sees your penis-- like "awe"....." ohhhh man did i die when i heard that, and i think i nearly ran steve over with my chair- but hey, sometimes you jsut have to crack up over things like that..... for reasons that um..... lol. :-D. nevermind. then somewhere around 430am they decided it was time to go and now theyve left me all caffinated and in my room wide a freakin wake-- although i am more than sure that ill hit the pillow and be knocked the fuck out...... so yeah what started off as a lame weekend turned out to be pretty great after all <33 however-- sunday is far less interesting for sure:: English term paper. so now ill try to sleep and listen to the Brand New that steve was nice enough to share with me (that im currently listening to and enjoying very much) *melissa*

time to get nostalgic! i just popped on the video Not Now by Blink 182, and its all cuttogeather clips of all their old videos and them on the road and what not, having fun and rocking out- and idk, its so weird watching all these blink videos and listening to their songs and realizing that those guys were there for me every single time i was going through something- good or bad i always had them to listen to, either to cheer me up, mellow me out or make me cry- whatever my mood was. They're comforting, i remember all teh times i would pop them into my CD player and take an early leave for teh bus stop when my parents were fighting, blaring All The Small Things as loud as i could, or Valentine on days when i was Emo (before i even knew what emo was)... its amazing how your memory associates emotion and songs from your past. I can never hear blink without thinking of middleschool, much like i can never hear Less than Jake without htinking of Ross, or Nirvana without thinking of Drea, or Snow Patrol without chris coming to mind. I gues thats not always a bad thing, but sometimes it hurts to have songs that mean so much to you- bring back things so painful- and at the same time, its nice to know you always have something to comfort you, and to this day when i'm upset, Blink is still the first thing i put on my iPod. sorry just a random thought for you guys.

just felt like writing a quick hello. kind of bored and waiting for my iPod to update and watching Christopher Titus stand up comedy- man Titus was so funny, i wish i knew what ever happend to it. sooooo i've been 18 for exactly 10 days... and i am still UN peirced and UN tattood... this is UN acceptable.... i'm going to talk to my doctor about dangers of nipple piercings, but ive decided even tho i want both done- im only going to get one and see how my body handles it, if it rejects at least ill only reject ONE as opposed to two great piercings that i had to pay for (not to say that i wont get the second one done and it decides to reject that), plus if the place messes up or something, i again didnt pay for TWO fuckups, i can see if i like their work and then decide if i wanna get the second one done right away- not to mention its gunna be kind of hard for me to sleep if i have them both done at the same time... so for now ill go with getting my right one done and see how it works out, then move on to the left- but somewhere inbetween i will most likely get my tattoooooo :-) i can not WAIT for it!!! of course- i will be posting picture of it whenever i get it done, idk about the nipple ring, but the tat definately... oookay iPod is almost done updating. *hmmmmm hmmm hmmmmmm* i would like to go to bed at SOME POINT!, its almost 130, but i dont have to be concious till about 12 so its okay.. Wooooo and its done- time for sleep!!! *melissa*

catching a train at like 9ish to bay shore tomorrow so i can photograph the parade and the game. Then i believe i'm hanging out with Kat and afterwards... i might just go back to FIT. Bay Shore pretty much- sucks... plus my parents barely like me being home anyway because they're paying for me to go to college and live there, not at home... so i dont really have incentive to go back- except there just isnt anything to do here! i barely have any friends at college and truthfully its only a small step above Bay Shore in the 'drama' scene... i cant stand it. im not sure exactly when everything in life started to suck- i feel like it was only the other day everyone was hanging out in dorm rooms and bullshitting with one another, discussing Dante' and telling secrets to complete strangers, eating dinner togeather every night and never spending a day by yourself.... too many things in my life keep changing, i truthfully hope they are all for the better... i'm actually bothered enough by things that mike suggested i go see a councelor- 18 years and now suddenly i need a councelor? i feel like i'm overreacting... i dont know whats wrong with me the last month, its like suddenly nothing matters to me any more. school, boys, photography, friends, they dont mean a thing to me- i dont want to do anything but sit in my room, sleep and go on the computer, talking to the only friends i really feel like i have- who are anywhere from 7 to 15 hours away.... what happend from august to now? where did things go wrong?

i came outside for some fresh air and to write alittle bit, and just be outside- granted i am still on the computer, but at least im not in my room staring at the ceiling haha... when all the sudden i see this guy out of the corner of my eye standing on the sidewalk (i'm sitting up on the ledge of a building) and he looks like hes talking to me, so i take off my headphones and hes like "hi im kelvin whats your name" and i told him and he goes and proceeds to hit on me. Telling me how pretty i am and how he only lives up afew streets and works around the corner or something- i'm only half listening becasue a good song is on, as well as the fact that i'm talking to people on line AND that hes a complete random STRANGER... so hes going on about how he would love to take me out to get a drink and im like "oh i cant drink" and he looked at me and hes like "you dont drink?" and im like "No i just cant, im not old enough" (never thought i'd be so happy to say that in my LIFE) so he asks how old i am and i told him 18 *damn the ONE TIME i actually wish i was 17, not that he would have known if i was lying or anything, but still i figured this would be a deturrant- NOPE.... so he goes "What about that bar up there that all you girls go to" and i was like OH GOD HE KNOWS ABOUT TEMPEST thank the LORD i dont go there really haha. so i was like "oh tempest? yeah i dont go there, i dont really like to drink" and hes like "oh well i dont mean DRINK i mean, just to go out" and i was like Uhhh idk im kinda busy and im currently working on homework (i was TOTALLY on facebook hahah and bullshitting with melissa) and so basically the convorsation goes on and on and i keep trying to get rid of him, telling him im rarely around school and i go home most days since i only live on long island, adn that im really busy with midterms and finals and all that bullshit so he aksed for my number "beacuse i probably wont run into you again" so i was like "i dont usually give my number out to strangers" and hes like "oh okay: and offered me his and i was like Sure, but i dont know if ill call you since im so busy and hes like "i wasnt forcing you to take it you dont need to take it if you dont want" so i just kinda stopped talking and then eventually after he was done telling me how pretty i was and that he hopes to see me around, he left..... i freaked out.. and it was funny cuz 3 guys that seemed to be from school stopped to watch him talk to me adn i was like OMG maybe theyll interrupt him... but they didnt... -_- soo yeah, now that i am officially creeped out that i'm going to run into this guy at Tempest some night or see him on campus, i can rest easy -_-. i wish aly or someone was with me so i could be like "uhh sorry this is my girlfriend/boyfriend" ughhhh i should have played stupid artschool lesbian or something! oh well... i highly doubt ill ever see hij again, and normally i wouldnt even care becasue its always flattering to have someone hit on you- but it never happens with someone attractive.... its always creepy old guy, dirty mexican or arbitrary lesbian... and in this case- early 30s black guy with jamaican accent.... oh what a night and to topp it all off a little mouse just ran across the flat and is currently trying to jump on top of the ledge..... i think i'm going to die.... *shutter* time to move, no mice for me today. i dont need to risk freaking out and dropping my mac off the 8 foot ledge by accident beacuse of it..

i figured i'd fill everyone in on like... a recap of the last few months (even tho i have been blogging, you may as well get an update as of the summer in a quck few sentences and catch anyone who ACTALLY READS THIS up to speed) got into fashion institute of technology moved in in august majoring in photography making a lot of friends loving class like there is no tomorrow my teachers are great got a boyfriend he dumped me after 2 weeks i was really upset now i guess i'm over it (or at least i have to be since he got a new girlfriend) my friends have sort of drifted but i think they're starting to come back i turned 18 <3333 so way to be legal i have my first set of college Midterms coming up i'm going to LA over winter break for a week with some friends and truthfully, as terrible as things have been over the last few weeks and as upset as i was and as many tears as i've shed for many different reasons things aren't going TOO badly. i'm living i'm breathing i'm a successful artschool student i guess i cant really ask for anything else?