Angel SnazzyChic Temp Demon FuMarried to...'s blog: "The Love File!"

As I wander through my day, and wander through my thoughts, I am remembering the moments in time when we shared a space only big enough for two. In my heart is the remembrance of our moments together. As the wind blows it caresses my soul with your sweet presence, with your sweet love! I want to never forget the moments we spent together, the moments we sat next to each other and smiled while looking into each others eyes. When you held me it was like a blanket of silk covering my body, a rush that set my soul on fire. Your kiss was like an amazing fairy tale that had no ending! Whisper to me in the wind, even if no-one else can hear it, I will know what you are saying. As the wind blows back, listen for my reply, as it will be as soft as satin. I will go to the ends of the earth to find you, as the waves of life seperate us into different worlds I will swim harder and swim faster, till I reach the shores of your world again. I will never give up on our love, never give up on us! Remember, As I will always remember you!

@}-{-- Tammy Rose Duysen --}-{@

(C)Copyright 2009

To: My Dearest Love,.... I have finally found some time amidst my tears to sit down and write you this letter. I have so much to say and don't know where to start. But here it goes!.. .. Our time together has finally come to an end; I wish it would have lasted forever. The time I spent in your arms was the most precious and cherished time of my life. It gave me what I needed to feel whole. When My soul was at peace and my heart was full. In your arms I felt safe and loved more than I could have ever imagined. The times we spent together loving and holding each other was as any person could ever expect. We had our bad times too, but over came the challenges we had faced in our pathway to our forever. As the road blocks came we hurtled over them with eager intentions. We gave each other our hearts and souls for safe keeping as we knew that in life there is always a chance left for them to be hurt again. The time did come, and we found that one block in the road that seemed completely impassable, and for some reason we couldn't get over it. For no future could never take away my past, and no other will hold my memories, as you are their only keeper. There will be moments in my years to come when something will remind me of a moment with you, and I will smile, and I will remember. But then I will move on cause I have to. I want to tell you thank you for all the great times we had together and thank you for holding my heart for a while. Today it bleeds more than ever before, as I had never loved another as I did you. I have never had those funny butterfly feelings when I kissed a man as I did when I kissed you. When you touched me so gently it was like velvet blanketing my skin, your wispers in my ears was like the sound of a sentual wind that carressed my soul. When we made love it was the most amazing moments I have ever experienced with any one in my life. .... I want you to know that I will always love you and that little girl I had never had. She was the greatest little girl. I miss you and her with all my heart and my tears fall as I think about you now. I hope that when your hate and anger fade you will see that what I am saying is how you feel. .. .. If our paths were to ever cross again I hope to find you at a better place in your soul and in your life. You will be a great man one day, it is written within the windows of your soul. I seen it there and I know that one day another will too. As I looked into your eyes I saw forever at peace with you there. You can give so much to another as you did me, I know you can find a way, I know you can get past the flaws that hold you back.. .. When I sit down and look at our pictures and see all the memories we made together it saddens me to know they are at an end. I will hold deep in my heart the love you gave me and hold deep in my soul the memories to bare. I will face my life and all it has to give me and all the challenges I must overcome. I know that it will be hard going on without you and being able to hold you. I miss all the times we were able to sit and talk about anything, and be able to cry on each others shoulders when we needed too. We needed no other there to help us through, because we found a way to do it together. I had always thought I had overcome the biggest challenges in my life before I met you, But I know now I am about to face the biggest one yet of my life. The challenge of moving on without you!.... I know that now you are hurt and you are angry, and so am I, but in time it will fade and you will be able to love again. I know you will find that one true love that your heart can never let go. So my dearest today I am setting your heart free to fly, free to love another. Today I will lay my heart to rest in a bed of roses, where it will lay for safe keeping. I truly know I will never be able to love another again as I did you. And I know that I would rather spend the rest of my life alone missing you than with another I cannot love. .. .. When life has beat you down and left you alone and you feel you have no where left to turn, look back as I will be standing there with open arms to comfort you. If not take this with you and know that no matter what you have someone out there that cares, even from a distance. The miles between us can never erase our past together. It cannot erase the memories... .. I know this may not be what you want to hear right now, because you hurt and I hurt too. But somewhere in time you will start to think about things and it will all come back to you. You will remember all the good times and all the love we shared and you will miss it being there in your life. You will too come to a point when you ask yourself, why? Why did it have to end this way? It will take time, but you will!.. .. My arms will be forever open and my heart will be forever yours. My soul will never find another to feel as one again. Always remember those forks in the road we talked about. Always remember there is another way. That if your journey in life does not lead you to a place in life you wanted to be, go back and choose a different path. Take that path and hold you head up, so you can see where it will lead you. Remember that what seems so bad now may not make a difference in the years to come. We alone can only choose where we end up. I hope yours is heaven when you get there. So now my dearest love I must go. Please remember what use to be there, please remember that it wasn't always bad. I will remember you. I will dream of you. I love you! And will love you forever! Forever Yours, Unforgettable Memories @}-{- @}-{-- Tammy Rose Duysen --}-@ (C) Copyright 2009

In my heart I think I have finally found the one! I am not sure how to feel or how to act on it. I don't want to run , but I don't want to push! I don't know how to tell him or how to show him, because he doesn't even know it yet! How do I tell him? Or do I tell him? Or do I just keep it to myself and let it play out? Maybe it is just pre-mature. Maybe it's just lust, I don't even know. God I feel as though this is just a role of emotions I can't control. I feel as though my heart is on the tracks headed for a train wreck! I am so comfortable in his arms and his smile makes my heart just melt. When i look in his eyes I can see the reflection of my own soul, that almost seems impossible but it's true! Wonder if he will ever realize it? Who knows maybe it will pass with out notice only wonder. I want to give him my life, My love and my soul. Not sure how to do it. He doesn't even see the good he has in him and doesn't know how much he is worth. His worth as a person and as a lover. the personality he carries is so hard to find in this world. Someone who can click on all your levels. Dam I am confused!

Does he/she still tell you I love you or say the things they use to? Do they still hold your hand in public, and walk beside you? Do they still notice the little things you do for them, do they still appreciate it? Do you still cuddle on the couch, or in bed at nite when you retire to your room? Does he still buy you flowers? Do you still go out on dates? When you kiss, do you still feel the spark that use to be there before? How do they react when you put something cute on just to get there attention? Does it hold there attention, do they turn away with out saying any thing to acknowledge you? I have noticed in so many relationships as in my own as well, that all these things seem to fade away in time. You soon become strangers it seems in your own house. Instead of embracing each other, you are passing each other in the hallway with a short glance and a smile as if you were only neighbors. Then your life seems to feel as if you are on a road with no end. On a rollercoaster ride without any tracks to run on. It seems to become an endless chain reaction of disaster. You start feeling alone as if there were never any one there with you in the first place. Your heart empties in to an endless pool of heartache, then becomes numb! Soon you feel as though you can't talk to each other about any thing at all. All the time you spent with each other, loving one another as if there weren't another who could take their place, you fill with arguments and silence. Your souls become useless to their purpose. The one you thaught was your soul-mate is now only your room-mate. That is a sad situation, and one you must run from, one you must find your way out of and travel that road back to your love. Take some time out of your busy schedule to spend some time together and notice each other again. --}-{@ Tammy Rose Duysen @}-{-- (C) Copyright 2009