1. Who were you with last night/yesterday?
Hmmm, if I tell you you are gonna want details and I am just in no mood for that kind of discussion right now
2. What woke you up this morning?
The fact that I am alive
3. Where are you?
Outside your window . . . No don’t look
4. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Oh see I didn’t even tell you anything and you are already asking for details . . . damn
5. When was the last time you cried?
Well, it was awful sad when Blues Clues was over this morning
6. Ever thrown up in public?
Hehehe . . . Um, hehehe
7. Passed out because of alcohol?
Yeah and on top of a dead hooker at that . . . Shit forget I mentioned that
8. Who's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
Well despite what your twisted mind may believe there is in fact no one sitting on my head at the moment - sure I’d have noticed by now
9. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
Sure if they take one for me first, who has a gun?
10. Where would you like to live?
In this land where I visit and all the people taste like margaritas
11. What do you want to be when you grow up?
An M&M . . . they melt in your mouth not in your hand after all . . . Wait, hmm hand works too though
12. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Unless something better is invented I’m going with a mirror
13. Who is your number one on myspace?
Damn I have to admit that I have one?
14. Have you kissed your number one?
Yes, but only in the most violently sexual of ways
15. Who was the last person that left you a comment?
Hehehe, the voices are always commenting
16. Do you like candy necklaces?
Dammit, I have no bling . . .
17. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
I guess it was when I was drunk and fell on the dead hooker . . . Dammit again scratch that
18. Do you listen to music every day?
Maybe it is listening to me, ever think of that?
19. What did u eat today?
It wasn’t you so never you mind
20. Are you a fast typer?
Typer is not a word
21. About how many people have you liked?
Are you hoping you are one of them?
22. How many have you loved?
Oh as if you are going to hear me say that
23. What are you doing this weekend?
Hmm have you seen Weekend At Bernie’s?
24. Whats your favorite type of soda?
I like the word soda . . . Say it slowly you will too
25. Have you ever won an award?
Not that I can display publicly
26. What do you want to do right now?
Find the dead hooker because I feel lonely now that she is gone
27. Are you listening to music right now?
Yes screams are lovely aren’t they
28. Do you like someone right now?
Sure why not they all think I like them anyway right
29. How long 'til your birthday?
As if I count the days to death
30. When were you the saddest in your whole life?
The last time I cried
31. What time is it RIGHT NOW?
Who are you Eddie Van Halen?
32. Do you use EBay to buy or sell?
No one seems interested in a slightly used 12 year old for cheap labor purposes
33. What makes you mad?
That there is no one interested in a slightly used 12 year old
34. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Oh sure listen to the radio you are bound to hear at least a dozen about me
35. What song makes you cry?
Cowboy by Kid Rock . . . My hooker didn’t come from Hollywood
36. What song makes you happy?
Cowboy by Kid Rock . . . My hooker didn’t come from Hollywood
37. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
Cowboy by Kid Rock so I can cry myself to sleep
38. Do you have a job?
Not after they find the hooker
39. If you were a crayon what color would u be?
Penis . . . yes
40. What makes you happy?
Penis . . . I’m a big fan of coloring . . . hehehe
41. Whats the next CD you're gonna get?
Gonorrhea . . . Oh “CD” sorry
42. What taste is in your mouth?
Cheap wine and hooker
43. A word to describe 2007?
Vaginistic . . . Is so a word
44. Summer 2006?:
Dead like the dog on the road
