Over 16,534,107 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
After many years on this Earthrock with a few of those spent here on Fetlandia and the inter webs, I have come across a few handy tips for for not being Creepy AF (for those who do not know what AF means, you obviously have not been throat slamming enough 18YOs onto K&P. Check with a millennial, they will fill you in… which brings me to the topic at hand...)
Now, I am not a lady here on Fetlife and I don’t profess to understand the daily abuses they deal with, but I know many ladies of varying gender expressions (including my wife) and have heard enough horror stories to be able to dispense a little advice to the Brosephs here on our beloved black and red (seriously who did the color palette on this site… I digress...) kinky social network.
This one shouldn’t be that hard, but it seems to trip up even some of the more together appearing Brohemians of our villages.
I’ll keep it simple, unless you have an explicit preexisting relationship with someone, it is usually not ok to get on their photos and make crass comments about drowning them in your bodily fluids or forcibly inserting any of your body parts into theirs. Use the same rules you would if you were meeting this person for the first time in public. Compliments are great, keep them tasteful and respectful. There are exceptions to this, some people crave nasty commentary as part of their kinkery, but I would not assume that to be the case unless you have hard evidence (not THAT hardness there Duderonomy, that doesn’t entitle you to anything).
This one is a little more complex and may not be obvious to all Brofessors out there. Ladies on Fet are not Pokemon. You do not become a Master by catching them all. I can spot a “Trainer” profile from a fair distance. It looks a little like this:
Mostly blank profile with the exception of mentioning Lone Wolf or Alpha male tendencies.
Has 500 Fetishes listed. (400 of which contain the words “Slamming”, “Pounding” or “Punishing”)
Identifies as Dom, Master or Primal Predator but can't give you any names of who they have had relationships with
Has 300 friends.
None of said friends are:
Has never been to an event (when pressed on this may tell you they are too much of a lone wolf, or that the local community is too cliquey, or that butts may be touched...)
Has 30 profile pictures (none are a clear picture of their face, a few are of other women who may or may not know their pics are on a kink oriented website, the rest have remotes, soda cans and other objects as a “size” reference).
I think you get the picture. A little mystery is a good thing, but being a complete human being who is known to others in the local or virtual communities and has a track record of being well rounded and not just a collector goes a long way.
Not their time.
Not their words.
Not their body.
NOT A THING.
People on the internet do not owe you anything.
Hear me out Brosenio Hall, I don’t care how carefully you crafted that first message (the one where you made sure that you highlighted her love of Nutella or her taste in eclectic acid jazz and rare Icelandic poetry).
She doesn’t owe you a thing.
I have seen this one come up a lot in the last few months, and I am not sure if it is happening more often, or if I am just more sensitive to it after being on here for a while, either way...
Listen up Brotato Chips, behind every awesome picture or video you see on here is a real fucking person. I don’t care how they identify Dom, Sub, Fire Bottom, Rope tops, Ice cream sandwich bottom.
People are more than just a fucking checkbox on a list of fetishes.
Is it cool that they love to be tied up and have things shoved in naughty places? It ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY is cool, but that is not all they are. They are complete humans first and foremost, that they are into kinky happy good time is icing on the fucking cake. Get to know the person well enough and they may invite you into that world. See them in a myopic and dehumanizing manner through the lens of their fetish and there is a good chance you won’t.
That’s enough tips to get you started.
~bae's thoughts. i hadn't been to Feflife in a month or more, so i thought it was time i checked things out and answer some long overdue messages. i cam across this post and thought, damn, Fubar needs this. If i could post it as status update, i would, but it's just a bit too long for that. i could put it on my profile page, but there again, it's awfully long.
