u sit here tinking about all the shit everthing that made this year so horible
and u r assamed u cant handle this ... i can handle this ...the attack in july those horible pills witch btw i think have dome something to my kidney cuz it hurts to breath ...
just hte samed theres nothing really i feel like everthings jsut fucked i dont forseee anything getting better
i am leqavng school ... dreams gone everthing dead i just hate everthing right now i hurting so much that i had to go thru this i dont know why i dont get it
i dont know y thought it was gonna be any differtn theen last time
i mean theres my moms family who try but never can
and my dad who could but never dose offers andm akes u think things but then dosnt hold thru
i mean i 21 i didnt wqant to go to school till i could afford it
he gose just do it i will help i didnt want to but whwen i got that shocloarship i was liek lets go for it
and he fucking fulls out chanbed the locks on me stopps helpong and he will help but he changed his mind again but only after its all so fucked up; i mean for a months i been homleszs my grades r way down everthing is jsut fucked theres like no really way to fix it what do they think i super girl i can do well when i homeless and ahve no were to go no were to sleep am emontialy distriot i been thur hell this year
i was raped by muiltpal guys i was on these horible pills to provent getting hiv thank god i didnt get that pills r good lol but they make u so ill it was horible i had to withdraw witch hurt so bad cuz i wanted this so much .... then the eelings of panic set in and i just felt horible the night mares the feeliong of forzen i couldnt movei was trapped and i fell still hopless and i hurt .... and my own father fucking didnt belive me i was pissing round his place ... he dosnt wannaa put good money at bad money he calledm e bad money he dosnt even know me
he has been on drugs my whole life he never been there for me ever not once not once when i needed someone has be been there ...he changed the locks on me he flew out form alberta changed the locks on me when i started to catch up
things were getting better and he changed the lock on me
its like i dont know i siting here crying now thinking what the poinbt even being alive nothing ever gets beter and when i think for once i can do something like school for me it all gose to hell
i didnt get to finish highschool cuz my dad wasnt there and my mom was in and out of the hospital i had to work and i was finally getting to go to school and do something that felt like it was worth while and it felt like things might be better
but no and right now i wish i could just not be anywhere or anything at all i wanna be puff gone
i dont wanan get up anymore i dont wanna start anymore or do anything anymore i give up
