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pointless

i am so sick of everthing ... i if u bother to read would know and going thru hell these days ...i been living on a sofa ...b/c my dad wanted to play more of his fucking mind games ..... on me and my mother my mother is manic depressive bi polor and a few otehr things mixed in there for u kiddies who dont know that means sometimnes she is in her own world to i sm in that world i depresssed as of lately i have horible raped by 3 men a few month ago really havnt been my self since i went crazy i was in film scho0ol chasing my dreams now i not thats all thre is to that my fahter thought since i wasnt doing it just how he wanted ..... he flew out form alberta changed the locks on me ... i am at my moms on her sofa and my god she lost it she gone and right lost it now everthing is my dooing everthing wrong in her life is my fault tell u when ru depressed and face days wher ur wishing u were dead thats not good when ur so scard and u cant even sleep at night and dont swleep for days then finally get some confort a lil rest and she comes out screaming about things u dont have a clue what she taloking about blaming u for everthing wrong in her life to the point u bashing hte phone over ur head wishing u could just break it open be done ... when u crying cuz u cant even take the day anymore and i kinow its her illness but i cant take this i not that strong any more i am not i anot i am not i want all be over i dont wanna feel like this i didnt want everthing to go all to hell i dont want to have anaity and panic attacks i dont wanna have it be like this i dont wanna feel thsi way i dont want too i dont know what to do i seriusly dont even want to breath right now i cant handle this
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