Life is growing never changing. Nothing stays the same. Happiness is just a game everyone wishes they had. Joy and tears are all I can feel, yet they come instride. Why does it hurt so much to want to be, why do I feel this pain. To want so much to be a me that I can only see. To have someone really see me is just a joke. For you see if you see me you are seeing a ghost. A shell of someone who once lead of life of happiness and love. Who now leads a life of tears and fears. Will I have the precious life I once had though I deserved, or am I doomed to this utter dispear. To live my life of only halves and stares. To be hole and be so free it’s all just a dream.
Ok so my poetry sucks but you know what I figured out the funk that I am in and I am feeling so much more myself since realizing that I am me and me alone and no one can complete me but me and it doesn’t help that I lost my little girl 5 years ago this week!!! It creeps up on you and just hits you that when you meet a precious child and hear a beat of a heart and feel the movement of that specially little person then to lose that in a day is the worst thing you can feel. There is no one who knows what it’s like to lose the one thing that means the world to you. Yeah everyone goes through it and every one feels that way but for each person it is different and unquie and the feelings are different and strange for everyone and the life that you lose it is apart of you and you alone. To want to hold that precious soul to breath every breath for that special little person to nuture and help that little person grow till they are grown is nothing in comperison to losing that little person after you hear a heart beat feel a foot kick. Her birthday would be August 15th or there abouts but she never got to live. She Died April 2nd.............
