a short story by cake.
Norma was a quiet, reserved type of woman. She felt a deep ache and emptiness, and sought out professional personalities to better her “situation” and help her find a cure. The first doctor looks up from under the sheet, between the stirrups, only to explain that the condition she suffers from was incurable. Another doctor explains it to be a rash, while handing her a triangular tube of cream for the pain and irritation. Yet another says he has never seen anything like it. Norma seems to give up hope, realizing she might never be cured of her emptiness and discomfort. She sits alone with a blank stare. Her colleague at work can sense and see her emotional and physical pain, and hands her a business card of a specialist. She is reluctant to go, but feels she has no other choice. The need to find a cure to her emptiness consumes her.
The fourth and final doctor looks up from under the sheet with fright. He shrieks with amazement, explaining how he’s never seen anything like it before, and that this will make them both famous. He turned away and dressed for a long journey. Norma felt a strong discomfort around the specialist. After reflecting on this sudden discovery, she found him to be a very rare and strange human being. Much to her surprise, after a few minutes, the specialist arrived in full period costume, complete with a monocle attached to a chain on the shoulder of his coat. He lifts up the sheet once more, and is immediately sucked through a porthole in Norma’s vaginal canal.
He arrives in an ancient world full of extinct vegetation and strange soil. These things were only present on earth during the cretaceous period. As he explores the archaic surroundings, he is confronted by a dilophosaur. He finds himself in an unusual predicament. As he looks around he finds a fallen branch from an arborvitae tree, with small sticks encompassing the branch. He picks up a stick and throws it a few yards away, so as to drive the dinosaur the opposite direction, as though he was a dog. The dilophosaur looks toward the stick and back at the specialist. Then he lunges at the man like a bird of prey, holding him down by his shoulder with one claw. The dinosaur spews a very toxic substance, aiming at the man’s eyes. The roar of a tyranosuar looms in the background. The dilophosaur finds himself utterly startled and leaves the specialist fallen, and wounded. He wipes the toxic green substance from his ocular cavities and escapes through a forrest of ancient botanical wonders, accompanied by an estranged brachiasaur.
As he makes his way back through this hallucinatory porthole, he is thrown onto the hard, sterile office floor. He jumps up, blind from the poison and completely bewildered. He shouts for all to hear, “ we have no choice but to sew up the porthole. ‘tis possible that these cretaceous beings could leak into our world now, and destroy the earth! i can just picture it now, vaginasauruses roaming our land...” Norma looks down in awe, her eyes wide and watering. She gasps for air, and says, “this isnt me, it must not be!”. Then it is done. The porthole is fastened shut, never to be seen or entered again.
