So tonight my ex came onto fubar.She's had a account here for
awhile and we talk once in a while. What happened..happened...life
goes on...
We're civil to one another, or I think we are.
Anyways, as of late she's been telling me of her
meeting so and so (and what happened or didn't) and her upcoming trip to see her ex bf. Wonderful.
I used tact and diplomacy..hell, that's not true..I gave monosyllbalic
answers. Such as...oh?,that's nice, great...and wonderful.
I've always been the one NOT to rub things in people's faces.
What you do is your business not mine.
I never kiss and tell nor do I really want to hear about it.
I've always been reserved and quiet....what I do and whom
I do it with is my thing...not for public consumption.
Sufficed to say,I'm in abit of a funk now. I mean, good g0d,
things aren't excatly going my way now ...and I need to hear
this?
Ever get tired of being tired? I am. Really tired. Everyday is the same
for me. Nothing changes. Other than what late hr I finally goto bed..
be it 1 am,1:30am..or so on.
I wish things were like the Jetsons, where I can press a button and everything
I have would shrink into a cube the size of a phone book. Then I'd be gone...
where too? Who knows...but away.
Am I running away from my problems? Perhaps or maybe,just maybe, my
problem is being here. I can't handle being here. Too expensive. Too much
of the hustle and bustle. My heart is heavy, my dreams empty, my life devoid
of pleasure. I get these waves of anger and then nothing. Feelings of despair..
and then nothing.
Anyways, I'm sitting here listening to Fingers Inc. Who or rather who was
Fingers inc? Well it's the great Larry Heard and Robert Owens...
The song I'm listening to is " Never No More Lonely". Wow.
Robert has this voice that shows such emotion,such sadness, such pain.
The haunting synth sweeps in the back round...
g0d, what song...and how apt :
" You saved my day...thank you baby...
You saved my day...
thank you baby....
you came on so gloomy the other day,
it seemed that nothing was going my way,
heartaches and pain were the only two friends
I could claim...they're rotten where the marks
still remain...
I needed someone to know me,I needed someone
to show me that I did'nt have to be oh so lonely, then you came,
you saved
my day...
Now I'm never no more lonely, I'm not lonely, I'm not lonely
anymore , You saved my day,I could jump for joy..every time I think
about what you do to me...you saved my day.....
Like water to a seed, you nourish me, you bend me to the light you made
me real, you gave me life, no more lonely days and empty nights, thank you
baby, you saved my day, youve saved my day... I could jump for joy...you
made it better for me....you saved me,yes you did....thank you baby."
Me transcribing the lyrics doesn't give this song any justice at all. I'm going
to look high and low for it and post it on stickcam. It's that powerful. The way
Robert sings it though...it's really depressing.Yes, there's emotion in his voice
but such sadness. I recall seeing him perform at the Sound Factory and he did
his hits like "tears", "I'll be your friend" Mine to give" and "Bring down the walls".
I was literally at a loss for words (and those who know me that takes alot).
The combination of his delivery and the words .. sufficed to say I was a bit
teary eyed.
I'm tired of being lonely, and having empty nights... someone save my day?
