DoctorJERMx's blog: "this is my brain on...line."

well...

ive got to write about it.

like i always do about things that mean something to me.

good or bad.

just so happens this is a very good thing im writing about.

my reasons why...so far.

i know theres a shitload of people that go off and on and in and out with other people they are attracted to or have things in common with online.

especially on fubar.

seems like its a meat market with disclaimer pictures and profiles.

and i know most people get a chubby because someone rates them or says some great thing about them.

then...they never continue...they leave at hope or just acting like theyre the king or queen of pick up lines via the internet.

no need to worry about rejection when you can say whatever you want and then the only thing you have to do is be deleted or ignored.

i treat it all as reality.

excluding the bombs,the blings,the fake drinks and fake comments.

anyway.

im on here so i must like it a little bit.

haha

but...and this is where most stop.

stopping at reality because its too fun and easy to be fake and distant.

thats the norm.

even outside of a social site.

but i found someone on here that i met...in person as well.

that now with being real shes my girlfriend.

she has been open enough to let me into her world and that made me follow suit to do the same for her.

some think you have to know a person for months and years to finally have the "right" answer.

but why?

in this super fast paced speed freak version of myspace and facebook together...shouldnt it be normal to meet someone and actually connect with them so quickly?

and at the same time...me wanting to stay miserable and angry is thrown out the fcuking window now too.

i cant be unhappy now.

i cant say "oh its so good, i love you already" then BAM! gone, nothing.

like a certain person i met on here but then after she realized it could have actually happened, she disappeared into the matrix of love and happiness.

i felt something for that girl even if we didnt meet up right away.

but it was obviously just a game to her like many treat life.

it was so great to know that a guy could like her for who she was and not what she was going to do.

so i was thrown for a loop when i found MY girl.

she actually found me. hehe.

the reasons why im so sure of this relationship already is because she gets me.

i get her.

we cant bullshit each other and if we try we call each other out on it.

which to some is a fcuking downfall cuz they wont be able to lie their way through things.

theres no reason to lie.

theres no reason to bullshit or pretend just for the sake of affection and attention.

because in the end when all of it gets called out...it was a waste of time just for some instant gratification of a weak soul.

my girl isnt weak.

she isnt stupid.

she isnt a run of the mill hot chick that digs me.

she is a force to be reckoned with and i couldnt ask for anyone better.

when most just see me as a manical loser...she sees me completely different.

she doesnt want me to buy her everything.

she doesnt want me to be someone im not, just to please her.

and i dont want that from her either.

i just want her.

im not trying to explain it, im not trying to make sense of it.

im talking about my girl and me.

im talking about how foolish some people are who live by a set of rules that never work out because they live by a set of rules.

that will never be fully satisfied because rules are meant to be broken.

im stonger even now because of her.

i wish i could feel sorry for all the bullshitters and non-believers but i dont have time to care about them.

let them drown in their own shit while im living in reality.

as jerm, as jeremy, as a boyfriend as a real person with a dream...no matter where i go.

because i have someone that supports me already.

i have someone who has a dream that not many cant follow from the ups and downs.

and i support her in her dream! because its true passion that just pours out of her.

all i know is that i would be a fool to stop.

it would be the worst thing i have ever done to dismiss these feelings.

so i wont stop.

win or lose.

i truly believe i have found my real partner in crime...not just someone who thinks it would be a fun time.

wow! a real person on fubar...with real feelings...with a real mind...with a passionate soul that cant be copied.

and i was told i was stupid for believing i could find someone so great on here.

i guess we proved alot of people wrong babe.

and i think we'll continue to prove even more wrong by this being so right.

they can go upload some more NSFW pics to get attention...i'll just wait til you come over and we'll enjoy reality.

;)