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What are you waiting for?

Reality...

am i living in it completely?

im asking myself haha.

so i guess i havent been fully in my right mind.

more like in my right brain.

taking a Skinemax type social website and try to become actual friends with people.

if i looked a certain way or spent real money here, things would be different.

i'd have the chance to be dismissed by alot more folks haha.

and out of real bucks, not fu bucks.

who  knows.

i believe in "stranger things have happened"

but thats strange then i guess.

i figured with the unrelenting options to play with on here make it hard for people to actually realize there are real humans involved with this drunken matrix.

i cant blame anyone..im on here right now haha.

writing about it.

im not an emo 19 year old whining that big titty women from Ohio arent talkin to me.

it must be that im honest about myself and thats just not appealing to a distant eye fcuking network.

i still think its funny though that i dont drink and i go on here all the time.

im upholding the idea of the "fu"...i get fu-drunk and buy fu-drinks for people.

yet...im being real when i talk to others and i dont pretend.

its just me thinking that i could find common ground and reality like other friends have.

they come to my house together, theyve gotten married after meeting online.

i dont think thats going to happen for me.

and i need to realize that!

i started to believe there was a spoon.

but theres no spoon here.

when you can dismiss a person by just not typing to them anymore...the reality is selective and easy to mold.

so if i treat this like a tweeker version of myspace i'll be fine.

its not that people can connect with others better because of all the options...

just instant gratification and vanity.

but thats why i stay haha...make people look at my not "11" rating worth gut and weirdo art and writings.

infecting!

i am a madman.

so i believe in human contact  even when its just  contact via online connection.

im sure others believe in that too.

i just wish i could find some more people like that cuz...poker patience gets boring sometimes.

=]

 

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