LSCMysterious Deceptive's blog: "Random"

To those of you who have crossed my path have made a lasting mark in sand.. I can say that you are all have settled for a purpose, you all have different emotions.. The standards are there in all different ways.. May you all see the light that shines everyday.. each of you have a glow that shows.. its as bright as a light but yet no one sees beyond the site of thee.. Take the cover off take a peek they might be amazed at what you see.. Its a blessing that has been sent to thee..

I have been threw hell and back.. Loving those who don't know how to love back.. Trying to hard to be the best that I can has just served me the biggest kick in the ass.. Things for me never work right. So why do I still put up a fight.. I keep my head high with tears in my eyes. To show all that I can still shine.. Why do I continue to please everyone else but the one thing I can not do is please my self.. I'm the one that stand in the background and looks around to realize all I can do is frown.. Now I'm sinking and begining to drown.. In my own abyss of self conflict..

I sitting here alone thinking of all the things that just have went wrong.. Wondering how I can change them and make them better.. Why do they hate and why does it always take me forever.. Oh this is just a letter.. Things change for better and for worst but lately I feel like I have had a knife gabbed down my throat.. The abyss of silence is killing me.. It’s like I'm not here nor there.. Do I truly fit anywhere.. My life has never been cool it just feels like I'm back in high school.. I turn around and look back and still think am I still that fat lol I sit her with my daily silent sigh oh boy another day has gone by.. OMG I think I'm going to cry.

You came into my life and took over my heart.. I know we are just friends and that’s the scary part. Were we meant to met paths to search with in are hearts . God only knows if we will be together or far apart.. Right now you are my friend and always will be until my dying day. I can not tell you that I love you cause that would be doing something prematurely.. But I’m anxious to see where this actually goes. Would you hold me tight and make me feel secure? Will you break my heart and walk out the door? Will you remain my friend regardless of what occurs? Thoughts that run through my head when I think of you.. Want to hold you and be next to you so much more. This is all so strange for me as I believe that I would never feel this way once more. So all I ask is that you take the time to know and understand me before you go.. So this way I will never be left all alone..