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What are you waiting for?
My heart shall die a thousand deaths with but a single glance. My tortured soul cries out to the heavens and does not get a reply. God is there but does not listen to the cries of a bruised and battered soul. My goal is there but not within my grasp. Holding fast to another as I lay and die. The winner gets the spoils and another soul shall die this day because of forgotten love. Twist of fate in ruins of lore release in me a righteous score. Now I lay me down to sleep and never do I wake. A lonely soul forever cursed in seeds of hurt and shame.
I had a thought a while ago that something that I was feeling may have been in fact true. I worried and stewed over it until I made myself sick. I listened to the voices in my head that keep telling me things that were not true. I think that if you have a relationship with a special person then you should be completely honest with them. I tell my man everything and I never keep anything from him at all. I have always been honest with him. When I get a message and he wants to see it he can always look. I would expect no less from him in return. I do not know if he shows me every message or not and this is where my faith and trust becomes tested. Everything in me tellls me to demand that he show me the messages because of my past bad experiences but the faith that I have in him tells me to trust him without question. I know many of you are probably thinking that I am nuts by now and I do not blame you at all for thinking just that. But you see if I do not trust hm and I do not have faith in him, what do I really have? Besides, in the long run if I do not trust him and I push too hard for proof of his love and honesty he may just leave anyways. I know you have all heard the saying "If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you , it is yours forever. If it does not come back then it was never yours to begin with." My closing thought is this: "Without our faith in humanity and its honesty, we are but animals ourselves; nipping, biting and clawing our way through life's highway."
