As I promised.I am now continuing this blog. Consider it my weekly rants. I do not write these for pity..nor do I write them for personal recognition. I write them because I know that there are others who feel the same and do not express it. Others whom my blogs may help inthe most minute of ways.
We are all more alike than we would admit. One thing that bothers me mostly with this site is the patetic amount of people who's self-esteem is so low that they have to use someone else's pics and pretend they are something that they truly are not. I thinkthis is absurd. If you are not in love with yourself enough to show yourself and be yourself......how can you expect anyone else to be?
I talk to anyone on here despite appearances. I have no problem with that. I do, however, have a problem with liars and people who toy with other's emotions and hearts. I don't play games. I have no time for games. If you want to play games.....go to some kiddie site like Myspace. Do not try to appraoch me because...honestly...your fake profiles stand out like a neon sign.
I mean, I'm no tthe most attractive person in the world...but I am real. I have no problem putting pics of myself on here. Why? Possibly because I really do not give a F**K what anyone thinks of me or the impression they mey have. If those people are too shallow and closed-minded to take the opportunity to get to really know me........then f**k 'em.... their loss. I'm not here to be popular and I am not here for childish ratings.
That being said.I will not rate each and every one of your pics. I will rate pic sthat I think are tasteful, artful, and well-done. I believe the rating system here is nothing more than a way to create classes and cliques like in highschool.
I'm not here for a quickie either. Casual sex is a temporary emotion...fleeting. It is only when you truly know someone inside and out , when you are truly comfortable with that person and know exactly what makes them tick on a passionate level...when sex reaches a higher plateau and becomes spiritual and lasting.
SO....if you think 50 pics of your boobies is a way to my heart..........sorry.you're very wrong. If anything..it makes my opinion of you decrease. I'm looking for something more permanant..mor elasting. That being said...I'm looking for class, intelligance, and a true heart.
I admit that at times the loneliness beomes over-whelming and each day feels like you are dying a little more inside. It's my own hell.my own prison I suppose. I am not perfect.I don't pretend to be. I'll be the first to tell you my f**k -ups. I am, however, true...to everyone.as well as myself. I'm not askin gfor acceptance. I'm not asking for pity. I've beenthrough and seen things that would put most people in a mental hospital. I'm sure I am not the only one. I do remain strong and I remain hopeful. I often use music to describe and aid in my moods on a day to day basis. Today that song would be freak on a leash by Korn.
I know I wan tmore. I know I want the dream that we are all raised believing in. I also know that it is real and acheivable if two people both desire it with the same passion and desire. I know it is out there somewhere and I know that it is meant for me. Does this make it easier to accept and to cope with the sinking lonliness that arrives upon each wakening? No.... but to give up...would be to succumb to the sinking sands of that lonliness. I know what I hold inside. I know the love in my heart that I have to give. I also know the pain that lingers there from a past that I have yet to let slough away. A part of me is fearful that by letting go of the past........I lose who I am today. I do know that when I find that one true love....I shall cry tears of joy as I hold her in my arms and stare into her eyes. I would look deeply into he reyes and ask a simple question that resonates through my mind daily.
"Can you bring me back to life??
Brian
