It has been a while since I have written anything. Some things have been building up and I just thought I'd share. As many of you know I am single. I have been for over a year and a half now. Many ask why. Well, probably because I have yet to find a woman who is serious about who or what she wants. I also have a hard time finding women who have self-respect or a sense of commitment/ dignity. Many here get caught up in the attention of this site. Albeit negative attention, they are so without it in their physical life that they are sucked into it here. In my opinion, this is a sign of weakness. A lack of self-confidence or control. So many times I get messages from people who claim to be interested. Naturally I think, " Yeah, ok. Let's see how much." It seems to never fail that these people always get sucked into the black hole that is this site. Soon others will show interest in them and they begin to eat it up becoming arrogant and greedy. Always thinking the grass is greener. I usually sit back and laugh at the childishness of it all. I am also amazed at these women who make these nude salutes for these scum-bags. DDon't you have any self-respect? Do you really think you are the only one these jerks are getting to do this? Why put yourself out there as a peice of meat? No wonder you are not finding Mr. Right. No wonder all of your past relationships have been abusive or non-appreciative. To men that is a form of control or possesion. Once a man thinks they have that.it will only increase. Are women that desperate for any type of acceptance or acknoledgement?
This site never ceases to amaze me with it's multitude of "characters". I say characters because that is what many here remind me of. Cartoon characters. Also the fact that so many here put on such a performance that only the most naive or blind can not see it. As I have said many times, "Actions speak louder than words." If someone claims "interest" in me. I watch them to see if it is genuine as I refuse to be played. Whether on here or in physical life. Many people think that since it is on here it is not so detrimental. However, it is still interraction. Human interraction. Sure you can cut off the power. However, the knowledge of your actions remain.
I don't kiss ass. I don't role over for people. More importantly.... I do NOT lie! I will NOT be with someone or take interest in someone who is playing the feild with every guy that comes along! I will NOT take interest in someone who is consistantly seeking attention or approval from every guy on this site! I will NOT take interest in someone who has no self-respect! Yes, I understand it is just the internet. However, it reflects on real, everyday life. If someone has no respect on here...then how much would they have in reality or in person. If you see someone dressed as a police officer you assume they are one. If you see someone putting themselves out there as trashy and easy.then you also think they are.
Anyways..enough of that. I have been very reflective lately. I have been thinking of relationships and love as well. However, because I am not in a relationship, my only basis for analysis is past relationships. I have made my share of mistakes. I am not perfect nor I pretend to be. In reflection I sometimes become depressed. I often wonder if the past relations were the best it is going to get. That is a very sombering thought. I'd like to think I have more to offer and have learned alot from the failures of those. Learned enough to better a future relationship. I have spent the last year and a half basically in a type of reflective isolation. I have used this site to look closely at different behaviors and to study it in comparison to my own. To hypothesize different situations on here using myself a the main focus point. I know this all sounds weird or even geeky, but it has helped me determine who i am and how I would re-act to any given circumstance. Life is about development and growth. If we fail to do so then we are dying. Mentally as well as physically. Therefore, I try to analyze every aspect that I come across. Many times I am merely sitting here watching. Just examining words used...or interactions that take place on here. The makers of this site need commending. As it is human nature to always seek better. It is natural for humans to always wonder if the grass is greener. Which is why this site ..is so effective. As long as we as a whole seek greener pastures...there will always be someone to capitalize from it.I long to be in a relationship. Yes, it is true. However, I refuse to compromise my beliefs and my views on love and life for it. I refuse to be set up to be played or hurt again. I will also NOT have a crush on anyone here until I meet them in person and know that it is genuine. I am sorry but I am not a child. Therefore, if anyone wants to remove their crush from me.go ahead I will not be offended. I am appreciative of it,but it is nothing different than being my friend and talking to me. I would rather someone just tell me straight forward that they like me in that manner.
