Ok ... those of you that have spoken with me at length know somewhat of what I deal with. Sometimes it is easier to put down how terrible you are feeling and maybe it can be a catharsis to help ease the strain.
I feel like some awesome force of nature has chosen me to rage upon. The nights creep by every moment an eternity. Waiting, hoping for the winds to shift and this to pass. Lying there staring at the ceiling terrified to move. Unbidden the tears exude from my eyes. I can not stop the flow. Each ragged breath I take causes a cascade of agony.
The passage of time does little to assuage or comfort me. I long for a bygone time when the simple pleasures in life were enjoyable. I abhor the wretchedness of this affliction. I aspire that there is some indiscernible way to emerge from this to the light on the other side. To once again be able to function like a sanctioned member of society. To not be shackled by habitual anguish.
