Truth's blog: "other stuff"

Subject Please read and repost!! Body: Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore Because the word "God" is mentioned.... A kid in Arizona wrote the attached NEW? School prayer. I liked it. Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule For this great nation under God Finds mention of Him very odd. If Scripture now the class recites, It violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow Becomes a Federal matter now. Our hair can be purple, orange or green, That's no offense; it's a freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. For praying in a public hall Might offend someone with no faith at all. In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the state. We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks. They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable. We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong, We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong. We can get our condoms and birth controls, Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, No word of God must reach this crowd. It's scary here I must confess, When chaos reigns the school's a mess. So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot; My soul please take! Amen

move foward you can never get ahead if you keep going back

United States Soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Soldier got out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Soldier and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The Soldier calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid things and act like an ass hole. So, He sent me." THIS IS GOOD, KEEP IT GOING. Amen

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball,3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints !! The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said "'Turn around.'"

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his dick into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my dick into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

This guy went into a pharmacy to buy some condoms. The only problem was that he didn't know what size to buy because he'd never done it before. He went up to a cashier, who happened to be a beautiful blonde and said, "Excuse me, Miss, I need to purchase some condoms, but I don't know what size to get." So the blonde said, "Alright, come here," and proceeded to reach into his pants and feel around for a while... Then she reached for her loud speaker, and said, "Hey, Sid, I need a box of large condoms in isle 3!!" So the guy took his condoms and left. A couple of hours later, another man came in with the same problem. He went up to the blonde, and said, "I need to buy a box of condoms, but I don't know what size." So she took him aside, and the next thing he knows, she's shouting, "Hey, Sid, I need a box small condoms in isle 3!!" into her loudspeaker. The guy, embarrassed as hell, took his condoms and left. A couple of hours later a kid about 16 years old walked into the pharmacy, also looking to buy a box of condoms. He didn't know what size to buy so he walked up to the blonde, and told her his problem. Sighing she said, "Alright, come here and let me see what you got." So he walked over to her, and she started to feel around. With a smirk, she reached over to her loud speaker, and shouted, "Hey, Sid, clean up in isle 3!!"

100 Miles an Hour A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up. When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked." He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says, "Cover your snatch with that and go get help."She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!" The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."

Jasmine and Austin have been going out since 7th grade. Five years later, they are in 11th grade and Jasmine has been thinking about breaking up with him. One Friday afternoon, on their 5th anniversary, Jasmine and Austin where talking over the phone. *The phone rings at Jasmine's house* Jasmine: Hello?? Austin: Hey baby girl!! How's it going?? Jasmine: Alright... You? Austin: Pretty good. Are you still up for the movies?? Jasmine: I'm sorry I can't go. I promised my little sister that I would take her out to eat today. Austin: That sucks. Jasmine: I'm really sorry. Austin: It's alright. Can you go out tomorrow then?? Jasmine: I cant. Sorry but I have to go with Alyssa and her boyfriend to the mall. Austin: You know, it seems like you have been avoiding me these past few days. First you can't go out to dinner with me because you have a paper due. Then you can't come over because you are too tired, and today during passing periods, you totally ignored me. I had something that I wanted to give to you. Jasmine: Im sorry. I'm not trying to avoid you. Austin: You know what?? I'll just talk to you later. I'm going out for a drive. Love you!! Jasmine: I'm sorry. Austin: Oh by the way, I bet you that you don't even know what today is!! *Austin hangs up the phone* A couple of hours later, Jasmine came back home and found a gift along with a card for her on the kitchen table. She opens the gift and finds a beautiful necklace. She then she opens the card and read: "Happy 5th anniversary, I love You!! P.S: I'm sorry for the way I acted over the phone." Jasmine takes her gift and the card up to her room and goes to sleep. *1 am in the morning* * The phone rings again at Jasmine's house* Jasmine: Hello?? Austin's brother: Hey Jasmine... My brother got into a car accident and is in the hospital. Apparently, he was going over to your house because he wanted to give you a little note that he wrote for you. Jasmine: OMG!! Could you please pick me up and take me there?? Austin's brother: Yeah, I'll be over there in 10 minutes. *10 minutes later* Austin's brother picks her up and takes her to the hospital. When they get there, she goes straight to Austin's room. When she walks in, the doctors are putting a blanket over his face. His parents are crying. His mom walks over to Jasmine and hands her the note. Mom: Here Jasmine. I think that this is for you. Jasmine opens the letter and read: "I love you Jasmine." I love your smile. I love your kisses. I love your sensibility. I love your hair. I love your touch. I love your smell. I love your warm hugs. I love EVERYTHING about you. I love you and NEVER forget that. PS: Without you, I would die." *Jasmine then starts crying and collapses on top of his body* Jasmine: (crying and in a whisper) I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Please come back to me.