Just Me's blog: "Orgasm"

I have also been doing a lot of thinking about myself lately. I think that I have been in too many failed relationships. Trying to figure out what I have done wrong in each and everyone is hard because some of them I put entirely too much into. I have lost me in the process of all of this. Which is truly a sad thought. What I mean by this is I rearrange all my beliefs , hopes and dreams to fit what that person wanted at the time. I have decided not anymore. I want someone who wants the same things I want. There is someone out there for everyone. I want that one that is for me. I have put a lot of thought into this person and every single man I have been with has helped me to a point on figuring out who this person would be. I believe that people come in your life for a reason. Be it just to help you through something you do not know is coming or to show you something. Some may come and go but everyone leaves their own special mark on your heart and soul. It may be good and it may be bad but it is there. The way to get through it is to take the good and use it. The bad stuff is to show you how strong you can be through it all I think. In ways the bad is also there to show you what you may not want in life. You can use it to help decide what you will and will not put up with in the future out of people. Some of the bad things I put up with out of people in the past will no longer be part of my life. When I try to think of a reason for why I put up with some much for so long out of them I can't honestly think of one. So the only answer could be I was blinded by what I thought was love and also just plain old stupidity. This is something that I will never do again. I will not bend till I break. I will not go beyond what I believe is right. I will not sacrifice me for anyone. Mostly I will not try and make someone see things the way I see them because I want them to be the person they are and if I can not love them for that then we do not belong together to begin with. I may be just repeating things I said last night. I see it as a different subject to a point. I will no longer put up with bullshit. I am getting to old for it. I want the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I do not care if it is perfect because nothing is you have to take the good with the bad but I want the one relationship that I can say "Hey I know we are not perfect, don't have everything, and we argue, but we love each other every morning when we wake up and every night when we go to sleep without everything." I know that sounds stupid but think about money does not buy love and things can't replace people if it could then all those rich stars and people would not be divorced and unhappy so much. So money is irrelevant to a point as long as you have a roof of your head, food on the table, and each other that should be enough. In closing, I think people need to quit looking at the checkbook and start looking at the person. And another thing looks are not everything because I have been with some great looking guys and they are horrible people. Don't get me wrong I have been with some that I was like what the hell and they were horrible as well. So looks don't mean nothing it just means you have a cute looking pain in the ass next to you not that you are happy. So I am looking into people for now on. In fact I have someone I am talking to that it is hard to get off the phone because we have actual conversations without talking about, sex, us, or anything just plain talking like we have know each other for years. I am loving it every single second of it. Right now I wouldn't trade him for the world if it was offered to me. Who he is and what this means is another topic that I will choose to talk about later. Right now we are friends trying to see what each other is about and it is going great. There is a whole entire set of new complications there but nothing I can't handle if and when I choose to be with him which is looking like a good possibility. Any ways I am going to let yall go. Have a great week.

Living Again.. And Letting Go.... I have put a lot of thought into my past relationships and have decided to move forward no more going back. I wish I could have the one I want but sometimes the one you want you are better off being friends with. If it will never work then don't force it just let it go. So I have decided to move on it may take awhile for this to actually happen and for me to decide who to move on with. I want to keep my options open for the time being. I have a few good options on hand and a few I would rather leave where they are. I want to find out what I truly want in a relationship and out of life. I know to a certain point what I want but I need the rest to be outlined in my head more. I need to give myself time to be sure I am totally ready for this step. I do not want to hurt anyone and I refuse to be hurt again. Being hurt sucks. So I do not want to do it to anyone again. I have broke a few heart and hurt some people and I am truly sorry for that believe it or not. I am ready to have a real relationship no more sex based ones. That all we do is have sex. I want someone I can have a actual conversation with and talk. Be able to go to the lake, beach or river and have a day just hanging out. Someone that can also have a great time watching a movie and sitting around the house cuddling in the rain. I want to be happy which I have realized is something you have to work at life is not the picket fence fantasy that we grew up believing men and women leave and we are left to pick up the pieces of our hearts. So in the end the bottom line is sex is meaningless and doesn't make a relationship anything but a booty call, if that is all it is based on. I think a relationship should truly be based respect, trust and communication. If you don't have all three then it won't work trust me on this. Don't get me wrong sex is important in a relationship ask anyone who is in a sexless relationship. I have been in one and we did not have sex very much if at all at times and when we did we were better off staying asleep. This ended and was for other reasons but we also did not have the other three things on top of that so the relationship was doomed from the start. So in closing any future relationship will have things that need to be met before any sex is involved. I will from now on hold myself with respect and dignity. I want someone to want me not excuse this "what is between my legs" . I want the respect I give them and that I deserve. Sex will come secondary from now on. I want companionship first. Sorry to anyone interested in the other because I can get that anytime I want and I am choosing the higher road on that. Talk to everyone later. By the way comments from anyone reading this is appreciated don't just read and move on let me know what you think please. Most of all if you know of other things that a relationship needs or what you know to be better in a relationship.

People Well today was a great day my cousin and I had alot of fun. Have you ever realized that there is always people that will mess up a perfect day. I have 2 of these in my life at the moment. This is a problem I fully intend on fixing. As everyone who reads these knows I have a boyfriend that makes me very happy and that is all that matters right now. I love him no doubt in my mind. I want him to be happy though and if it ends up that his wife is what he wants fine. I can and will move on. If that is what he wants and not what others people say he needs to do. I have these 2 people that are trying to mess up this for me 2 who are supose to be my friends I guess it is true keep your enemies close right. I just DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE FUCKING WITH ME. What they are doing is trying to make me feel bad and all for being with this man. Lets review 1. She is not around 2. He wants a divorce 3. They have been seprated for 2 years (give or take some months) 4. I AM HAPPY 5. IT IS NONE OF THIER FUCKING BUSINESS Enough said I think. To be honest number 5 is the main one. They need to grow up and stay out of other peoples shit. Quit acting like you are still in high school we are adults now. If you are not happy in your life leave everyone else the fuck alone and figure your own shit out. This is just my opinion and I had to let it out safely before I explode on them and said something I would regret as you can see. I just want my boyfriend to know that I love him and I will support his desicion even if it hurts me. But what dosen't kill us makes us stronger right. I hope everything works out the way it is suppose to. I love you baby!!!!! I also want to say thank you to everyone for reading this.

Men I have come to the conclusion that men only want something when they can not have it. I have a close friend that I once dated awhile back. We got very close and I did fall in love with him. It was not what he wanted though he liked dating other women and having me around as well. I have moved passed that in my life and I am able to be close friends with him we talk about everything including his new girlfriend of two years that he is in love with. She gives him the same problems with the relationship that he gave me. (What comes around goes around right) Well when he is drunk he decides to call me up complain and kinda cry on my shoulder about it. I tell him the best way I can think of how to deal with it. Most of the time he will call her and talk mean any ways and of course cause himself more problems. Well to get to the point of this blog. He sometimes decides to tell me I don't need to be with anyone because he wants me back and needs me because he can depend on me. He gets so jealous of the fact that I am happy with my choice in the man I now have in my life and want to keep in my life as long as possible. He just makes me so angry with him when he does this that I sometimes feel like I would be better off not talking with him anymore. Then I reminder that sometimes I need to talk to him because he can tell me things I am doing wrong without yelling at me like most people do. He is always there to tell me to stiffen my lip when I want to cry or tell me that someone is not worth my time or tears. I also realize that he needs me to and sometimes when he is drunk there is no filter there to stop him from just saying whatever no matter how much it hurts me or makes me upset. Jealousy is ugly and has no place in a friendship between two people that decided to just be friends and not let love mess it up or get in the middle and now that I have moved on he is jealous because I am happy for the first time since him. I am truly happy with my man and don't see a problem with my choice in him. I love him and don't want anyone else right now or ever as far as I can see at this time. I hope that he feels the same but as one of my best friends has stated I am going to ride the bull till it kicks me off if it does. There is a lot about my future that is up in the air at this point but one thing is for sure IT IS MY FUTURE TO CHOSE not anyone else's MINE AND MINE ALONE!!!!!!!!!! So if you have advise that is fine give it that is the glory of a free country and the other part of that is that it is my choice not to take it and make my own mistakes. It is great to learn from others choices but sometimes you have to find out for yourself and do things for yourself. I hope this makes since if not you shouldn't be reading it because you do not know me or your would understand to a point. I LOVE YOU BABY!!!! I hope you are sleeping well because I will now.

I was up late last night thinking about and crying about something someone close to me had said. This morning I realized that they probably never even gave that a second thought after saying it because that is just them and the way that they are. They like to play by trying to get me upset or just teasing me but they probably didn't know that what they said hurt and made me doubt a lot of feelings I have started to have. Then I also realized that why should something that someone says upset me because letting it upset me or letting myself cry over it doesn't change anything it just take precious minutes or hours of my happiness away and I should never let anyone take my happiness away for any reason. I do not need to let things bother me. If I want something I need to go for it and not let anything or anyone stand in my way. People come in and out of your life all the time Life is too short to let any of them take from you without leaving something good behind. Even if all they leave is a good memory or another way of looking at things that was better then the views you had prior to them. I like something I have heard recently "Don't live beyond the moment or over think things because it could be gone at any moment and letting things upset you takes away from the good things that could have happened while you are upset" Think about it nothing is promised to be forever we all want the one person that will be there for us and with us forever but that is the thing there may only be that one person if you go through life trying to find love and don't just live it is a waste. Enjoy the time you have with each person so that you at least have that plus what you may end up doing is spending that time with that person you are meant to be with. So in closing I have decided not to let things bother me and just suck it up men don't realize that we are emotional creatures unlike most of them who think with their pride or peckers not letting feelings in for any reason. Yet if we are to be like them we are just stuck up or sluts whatever words they choose to use for us at that time so I will no longer let someone see me cry or make me cry. Which is actually pretty sad that I have to take away a part of me so that I can't get hurt anymore I may have to think about this. I do love my man more than anything though and it is scary cause that means he is capable of hurting me the most I guess we will see how it ends up right. I LOVE YOU SEXY!!!

Hello everyone, I have been making alot of changes in my life lately. I am hoping for the better I now live with my cousin and bestfriend and she is making changes as well. I have met someone that has showed me that not all men are dogs and he is great to be around. Sweet, considerate and a great all around person. He is the best and if we don't make it work at least I now have hope enough to go out and find a great guy and know that I deserve better than I have gotten in the past. I want to tell yall I am not ignoring anyone my cousin only has dial up interenet and we are working on getting the dsl or cable crap so just don't get mad if I don't comment anymore I will have alot of catching up to do soon I miss everyone talk to you soon.

Using your mouth



Your sexual hidden talent is your ability to use your mouth. You are incredibly sensual, a great kisser and a seductive lover. You drive all of your partners crazy with your mouth.

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