Living Again.. And Letting Go....
I have put a lot of thought into my past relationships and have decided to move forward no more going back. I wish I could have the one I want but sometimes the one you want you are better off being friends with. If it will never work then don't force it just let it go.
So I have decided to move on it may take awhile for this to actually happen and for me to decide who to move on with. I want to keep my options open for the time being. I have a few good options on hand and a few I would rather leave where they are. I want to find out what I truly want in a relationship and out of life. I know to a certain point what I want but I need the rest to be outlined in my head more. I need to give myself time to be sure I am totally ready for this step. I do not want to hurt anyone and I refuse to be hurt again.
Being hurt sucks. So I do not want to do it to anyone again. I have broke a few heart and hurt some people and I am truly sorry for that believe it or not. I am ready to have a real relationship no more sex based ones. That all we do is have sex. I want someone I can have a actual conversation with and talk. Be able to go to the lake, beach or river and have a day just hanging out. Someone that can also have a great time watching a movie and sitting around the house cuddling in the rain. I want to be happy which I have realized is something you have to work at life is not the picket fence fantasy that we grew up believing men and women leave and we are left to pick up the pieces of our hearts.
So in the end the bottom line is sex is meaningless and doesn't make a relationship anything but a booty call, if that is all it is based on. I think a relationship should truly be based respect, trust and communication. If you don't have all three then it won't work trust me on this. Don't get me wrong sex is important in a relationship ask anyone who is in a sexless relationship. I have been in one and we did not have sex very much if at all at times and when we did we were better off staying asleep. This ended and was for other reasons but we also did not have the other three things on top of that so the relationship was doomed from the start.
So in closing any future relationship will have things that need to be met before any sex is involved. I will from now on hold myself with respect and dignity. I want someone to want me not excuse this "what is between my legs" . I want the respect I give them and that I deserve. Sex will come secondary from now on. I want companionship first. Sorry to anyone interested in the other because I can get that anytime I want and I am choosing the higher road on that. Talk to everyone later. By the way comments from anyone reading this is appreciated don't just read and move on let me know what you think please. Most of all if you know of other things that a relationship needs or what you know to be better in a relationship.
