Over 16,530,192 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Me: “How can I help you?”
Irate Caller: “Yes, I just purchased one of your wireless routers and your stupid tech support in India just told me I have to plug it into an outlet.”
Me: “Uh… yes, ma’am. It needs to be plugged into an outlet to get electrical power.”
Irate Caller: “I purchased a WIRELESS router, so it shouldn’t require wires! Doesn’t it use batteries or something?”
Me: “No, ma’am, ‘wireless’ means you don’t need wires between the computer and the router.”
Irate Caller: “Wireless means WIRE-LESS! If this thing has to be plugged in with a wire, I want a full refund!”
Me: “If the product isn’t what you expected, I suggest you return the device to your local retailer.”
Irate Caller: “NO! That’s not good enough! They won’t take it back because it’s been opened! I want you to give me a refund!”
Me: “Ma’am, we don’t provide refunds unless a product’s functionality is grossly misadvertised. You need to speak to–”
Irate Caller: “NO! You’ll give me a refund right now you f***ing son of a b**** and you’ll do it right f***ing now!”
Me: “Ma’am, throwing a temper tantrum like a five year old is not going to get you something that we’re incapable of giving you.”
Irate Caller: “You can’t speak to me like that! Transfer me to your manager at once!”
Me: “No.”
Irate Caller: “What?”
(Contrary to popular belief, most companies don’t REQUIRE techs to transfer to supervisors simply because they’re told to by a customer).
