(I am on a school trip to a mall to help with pet adoption forms. A customer comes up.)
Customer: “Gimme a f***ing dog!”
Me: “Would you like an adoption form?”
Customer: “I don’t care. I just want a dog! There’s one over there! Gimme it!”
(I look to where he is pointing. A lady is walking a dog.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but that dog doesn’t belong to us.”
Customer: “It’s because I’m [ethnicity that he clearly is not], isn’t it? ”
(At this point, I realize that he is high.)
Me: “Oh, that one is ours. Unfortunately, it is an evil space cow.”
Customer: “Holy s***!” *runs off*
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Invasion Of The HTML Body Snatchers
Stereotypes Are All The Same Anyway
(I’m a customer and am looking at dining tables. I’m an obvious Muslim as I wear a hijab. Another customer sees me with my son in a stroller and walks over.)
Another customer: “I thought you people couldn’t use electronics?”
Me: “That’s the Amish. And a stroller isn’t electronic.”
Another customer: “Oh…” *walks off*
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With Great Encyclopedic Knowledge, Comes Great Encyclopedic Power
(Back when they were common technology, we sent out a software update on four floppy disks.)
Customer: “The computer says it’s unable to read disk two.”
Me: “Can we start the installation again just to check it is the disk that is the problem, please? Put the disk in the drive and type ‘a:update’. Then, press enter.
Customer: “Okay. It says it’s unable to read disk one now.”
Me: “I’m sorry. Did you try that with disk one or two?”
Customer: “Both.”
Me: “No, sorry. Just then, not earlier. Was the disk in the drive disk one, or two?”
Customer: “Both. Both disks are in the drive. Why? Was I supposed to take the first one out before putting the second one in? It didn’t say to do so, just to insert disk 2.”
Me: “You’ve got two disks in the drive at the same time? That must’ve been difficult to manage.”
Customer: “Not when you hit the second one with an encyclopedia.”
