1.The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Gee if I could choose anyone I really hope it's a bill collector, I love them, I can't wait to talk to another one . . .they are so friendly and understadning.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
I have cart guilt if I don't, but if the boy is with me than I make him do it, after all what else are kids good for?
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
I'm a listener that way I can learn your secrets and plot against you without your ever knowing until it's too late
4. Do you take compliments well?
HA -
5. Are you an active person?
Nope, I sit on the couch all day watching Jerry Springer and figuring out how I can get to be on that show
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive?
Until a bear eats me yes I can survive
7. Do you like to ride horses?
Yeah my fear of large animals just invites the horse riding thing
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Well they wanted me to believe it was a camp but I know better
9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Hehehe, I'll show yo mine if you show me yours
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married would you?
Nope, I'd go after the spouse instead . . .
11. Are you judgmental?
Why what did you do? How could you do such a thing . . . geez man
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Nope I refuse to date anyone who doesn't believe that god is a goat
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
Stalking is highly underrated ya know
14. Use three words to describe yourself:
Twisted, Insane, Problematic
15. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?
If I was deaf I'd never have to hear the singing of Marih Carey again
16. Are you continuing your education?
No I am regressing it actually
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
I'm really more of a beat you death kinda gal
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you tried to save?
Well me of course
19. How often do you read books?
EverytimI feel the need to change up my plans of world domination
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Who says I even think at all?
21. What is your favorite children's book?
The Icky Sticky Frog . . . c'mon the title alone is worth the read
22. Have you kissed any of your MySpace friends?
Exactly how do you describe friend?
23. How tall are you?
Why are you sizing a body bag?
24. Where is your ideal house located?
In my own little world
25. Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties, or grannies?
None of the above
26. Last person you talked to?
Hehehe, as if I'd tell you, then yo'd know my plans
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Only the ones for the fake passport
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
What Olive Garden? What did you hear? I wasn't there
29. What are your keys on your key chain for?
I have no keys dammit, I am no longer allowed to have pointy objects
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
I don't leave my couch remember?
31. Where is your current pain at?
Too many drugs to feel pain
32. Do you like mustard?
Hehehe, you said mustard
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
I prefer to sleep while eating, yes thats the way to go
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Neither I look like that crazy guy down the street, the one that looks like the guy from America's Most Wanted
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
What is this shower of which you speak?
36. Can you do a split?
Perhaps I can but only the right people get the answer
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
I need no movie, I have you to entertain me
38. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?
Do you do that?
39. What did you do for New Year's?
I was definately not anywhere with a knife
40. Do you think "The Grudge" was scary?
Not near as scary as the fact that they made a second one
41. What was the cause of your last accident?
I have no accidents
42. How much money do you have on you right now?
I don't leave the couch exactly where is the cash coming from?
43. What are you drinking?
It doesn't have Vodka in it if that is what you are thinking
44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Well her legs were in the air quite a bit I think
45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
You already know don't you and you just want me to confirm
46. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
I just have to say that that show is not even allowed to be played in my home
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
None that is when my mischief occurs
48. Do you like Carebears?
Perky little bastards always trying to make people care
49. What do you buy at the movies?
Have you not read my couch comments?
50. Do you know how to play poker?
Why exactly do I want to play a game of cards i n which I lose money?
51. Do you wear your seat belt?
How do you even know if I own a seatbelt?
52. What do you wear to sleep?
I do not sleep it takes away from my ability to try to take over the world
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Um no there was nothing nothing happening
54. How many meals do you eat a day?
I sit on a couch all day do you think I actually eat meals? Hell I live on Doritos
55. Is your tongue pierced?
Is yours?
56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
They are the clue as to when it is time to put my plans into action . . . Tom is my partner in crime
57. What's you favorite NFL team?
Oh as if
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I like people who readily obey commands
59. Ever been to Vegas?
That can't be proven, and no I did not know that girl so put the picture away
60. Did you eat a cookie today?
I have no stinking cookies
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Not today, maybe tomorrow
62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
As if I am going to openly admit to any crime I may or may not have committed
63. Do you hate chocolate?
I think chocloate is the way the government controls the minds of women and children
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Well if I see them fighting then I think someone really needs some therapy
65. Is anyone mad at or irritated with you right now?
As if I care
66. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? (apologies to those who don't celebrate Christmas)
As if I care enough to buy presents for people
67. What's your favorite preparation for eggs?
Still a chicken
68. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
Professional couch jockey, yeah that sounds about right
69. Are you easy to get along with?
Do I sound easy to get along with to you?
70. What is your favorite time of day?
Any time that I am not watching something stupid on tv
71. Who was your best girlfriend/boyfriend?
Well now seriously if they were the best 1st of all why would they be with me, how would I know they were the best and why would I let them go? Or am I perhaps making a diversion to distract from the body hidden in the closet?
72. Who do you hate?
Everyone
73. Would ever date your first love again?
Love? Hahahahahahahahahaahahah
74. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
What do you think?
75. Current mood?
Wondering if anyone will actually take this shit seriously
