LadyFaith's blog: "Living with ~LadyFaith~"

And The Fight Started
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked,
'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me
this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
  friend."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
the
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the
truck,
and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was
blowing 50
mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that
the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I
cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is
out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started....

******************************************

(LadyFaith's Personal Favorite!!)

I rear-ended a car this morning.
  So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver
got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get
soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

  *****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She
said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licen se
to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet
at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come
back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social
Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.


My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after
  we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order
first.
"I'll have the strip steak, mediu
m rare, please.."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" Nah, she can order for
herself."

And then the fight
  started...

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started......