LadyFaith's blog: "Living with ~LadyFaith~"

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

               

                  THIS IS INCREDIBLY WELL-WRITTEN AND IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE
IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON...A STUDENT!!!  WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR
HIM...OUTSTANDING.

                  Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
                   
                   We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole
of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.  Our two
ideological sides of  America  cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to
irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
                   
                  Here is a model separation agreement:
                   
                  Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am
sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
                   
                  We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You
are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war,
we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for
finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
                   
                  We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys , hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan
hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you
NBC and  Hollywood .
                   
                  You can make nice with  Iran  and  Palestine  and we'll
retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have
the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.
                   
                  We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to
Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.,
but we will no longer be paying the bill.
                   
                  We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
                   
                  You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not
a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.
I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World
to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
                   
                  We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can give
trickle-up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep
our history, our name and our flag.
                   
                  Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to
other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which
one of us will need whose help in 15 years..
                   
                   
                  Sincerely,
                   
                  John J. Wall
                   Law Student and an American
                   
                  P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda with you.