Deno's blog: "My Rants, Raves and Musings"

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned - that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned - that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do but to the best you can do.

I've learned - that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned - that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned - that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned - that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned - that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned - that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned - that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned - that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned - that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned - that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned - that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned - that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned - that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned - that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned - that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned - that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned - that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned - that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned _ that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned - that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned - that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned - that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned - that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned - that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned - that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned - that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned - that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned - that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned - that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned - that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned - that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned - that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

I've learned - that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned - that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned - that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned - that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned - that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I've learned - that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned - that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned - that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned - that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

And most importnt of all - I've learned.

                                                                  *** WARNING TO ALL MEN ***

Beware of female sexual predators using a date rape drug called BLOW JOBS.

It is used to entrap men into scams called RELATIONSHIPS and MARRIAGE.

If they use this tool well, they can turn your mind into JELLO and make you serve their every whim!

If they SPIT you may not be infected.

                                                                    ***   BE AWARE ***

You will be assimilated if they SWALLOW, at this point you may as well kiss your heart and ass goodbye,

for you will be turned into a drooling, mindless, slave to them.

                                                            * * *   Engage at you own risk ***

1. Successful relationships take work. They don't happen in a vacuum. They occur when the couples in them take the risk of sharing what it is that's going on in their hearts and heads.

2. You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put them on the table, so your partner knows what you need.

3. All arguments stem from our own fear or pain. When upset occurs, check out what's going on inside you rather than getting angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren't upset for the reasons we think we are.

4. Understand that men and women are very different. We're not from Mars or Venus; we're not even in the same solar system. Understanding and celebrating our differences will make living together more peaceful, interesting and fun.

5. Honor each other in some way every day. Every morning, you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.

6. Anger is a waste of time. Anger also is a relationship killer because it makes you self-absorbed and won't allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate, give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what's going on for you.

7. Get regular tune-ups. Go to a couples workshop, talk with a counselor or read a relationship book together at least once a year. Even if you don't think that you need ideas, and the process alone will strengthen your connection.

8. Find a way to become and stay best friends. For some, this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it's the best part of their time together.

9. Be responsible for your own happiness. No other person can make you happy. It's something that you have to do on your own. If you feel that it's your partner's fault, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.

10. Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you'd like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It's a simple program that really works.

There are no guarantees, but couples who practice these techniques have longer and stronger relationships than those who are not proactive in their love.

We must view life as if each day is the first day of the rest of our lives. We should keep an outlook in our minds about life, as each day is the opportunity for a new start. We must learn to live each day to the fullest, and we can do that only if we learn to accept that we cannot change the past. We cannot stop a tragedy from entering our lives. We have to accept what has happened, accept the new person we have become by the tragedy that has entered our life and love ourselves no matter what. No one is perfect. The present is now, and we hold the key to the future. It is time to create the new you. Happiness and success come with persistence and hard work. You must have a goal and work hard. Follow your hearts to true happiness. You must have a destination, a goal and a plan. You are special. You can be anything you want to be. It is your turn to love yourself. I truly hope that each of you find the faith, hope, courage and strength to be happy and love life. If you cannot find happiness in the present, you will never find it in the future. Those who find true happiness pursue the goal of achieving as much success and finding as much happiness as possible every day of their lives. Many people think that happiness lies in how much material wealth you accumulate. Nevertheless, we must find happiness within ourselves? Not in the external world. Happiness comes from within and from making others happy. Each day, we have a new opportunity to find happiness; and unless we are able to learn to be happy on a day-to-day basis, we will probably never find true happiness. There are situations, when we find ourselves trapped, full of anger, not knowing where to turn or what to do. The anger of losing control of our lives. You may feel like life is meaningless, and happiness is no longer an option. Love yourself as your loved ones love you. Life is meaningless unless you can love, be happy and bring your happiness to others.

Whip me to a lather with your sour sarcastic tone, slice and dice me with your words that crush me like a stone. Spread acidic slander as you cut me down to size, sprinkle bitter rumors and then garnish that with lies. Mix in cups of salty tears of things better unsaid, pour in rancid memories from things long buried, dead. Dish it out while it is hot as hot as you can make it, now I know the recipe let's see if you can take it.

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. Follow the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. Spend some time alone every day. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. Be gentle with the earth. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

Sometimes we try so hard to find the right gift that we overlook simpler ideas that might be just as meaningful. Or, we hold back on gifting others, thinking that there needs to be a special reason for giving. I encourage you to give freely and often, remembering to give a heartfelt gift that giving is one activity that benefits the person on each end of the exchange. Below are ten gifts I believe are appropriate for any ordinary day and every special occasion. Plus, they are gifts that anyone can give because they require nothing but a willingness to be generous. * Time Sharing your time is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Whether you offer ten minutes of story time to a child, a lunch date to a friend, or an afternoon away from chores to your spouse, youre offering yourself and building a relationship at the same time. * Honest Acknowledgement I hear very few people say that they receive too many compliments or too much praise. We all thrive when we get positive feedback and genuine appreciation for who we are or what we do. Start noticing the strengths, assets, and positive features of others and establish a new trend of personally acknowledging others for what you see. * Forgiveness Forgiveness is a tremendously powerful gift. When we forgive others, we stop punishing them for their real or imagined act (whether weve been overt or clandestine in our retaliation). We give them our permission to let go of guilt or shame that they may be feeling over what they did. Forgiveness also has the benefit of freeing us from re-experiencing the hurt or anguish of the past incident. * Love When we let down our defenses, stop judging others, and see them as another unique, holy, and precious human being, we give them a great gift. Openly sharing our love with others can help heal old wounds, build bridges, and even help someone in a challenging spot in life to move to a new place of confidence or self-assurance. * Undivided Attention Even when we offer our time, our minds can be elsewhere, distracted from the person or experience at hand. Let yourself be with another person, setting aside other activities, thoughts, or agendas until youve fulfilled your purpose for the encounter. People notice when youre 100% present and when youre not, so give them all of you. * Courtesy We often are so busy or so absorbed in our lifes dramas that we forget there are other people around us. Give yourself a breather and offer courtesy to the people you encounter each day. Simple acts of opening doors, holding an elevator, sharing a cab ride, picking up your neighbors newspaper and dropping it at their door, or letting a car ease in front of you during rush hour all let someone else know you care (Even if they dont thank you for your kindness it likely registers somewhere inside them.). * Surprise This gift allows you to be really creative. Do you want to drop a postcard to your sister saying you love her? How about sending a floral bouquet to your husband (yes, hell be surprised)? Maybe you choose to offer to babysit your single co-workers son so she can enjoy an evening out with friends. Such gifts can have the most impact on an ordinary day because then the recipient will be totally unsuspecting. * Gratitude Giving the gift of gratitude allows you to single someone out and let them know you paid attention to what they did. Like honest acknowledgements, a sincerely offered thank you is an uncommon treat. Whether you choose to speak or write your gratitude, this is a gift that goes right to the heart. * Smile In the modern world, we often see too few smiling, genuinely happy faces. Reverse this trend by wearing a smile as part of your everyday wardrobe. This countenance conveys warmth, welcome, and friendliness, making it easy for those youre smiling at to feel seen. Give this gift that sends the message, Im glad youre here. * Silent Prayer We could all use extra prayers and blessings in our lives. Even if its not consciously known, another person can be blessed when you offer the energetic gift of prayer. Whether or not you know a persons situation or their religion, you can ask for divine assistance or attention. A simple prayer you might offer: God/Allah/Great Spirit I ask for you to bless this person and attend to any needs they may have in their life. Thank you. * Now think about how these little things effect you! If you had one day to experience all these gifts from your friends and family. Wouldn't that be one hell of a day? Does it make you smile, knowing that you are the reason for their smile? Wouldn't it be great if we all done these things? Do you know someone that needs a gift like these? It just may make their day! Making a difference to someone starts with you. Can you be brave enough to take the first step?

I cannot believe, in a world as enlightened as ours, that these things still manage to exist. They are the equivalent of cockroaches on paper. Who really believes in this stuff, anyway? If the secret to true happiness were to be found in these documents, I’d quit my job and invest all my money in parchment and quill pens. I would pen them all day long and, when my hands finally got tired, I would do it with my toes. I imagine the same people responsible for these letters are the very people who sit behind closed curtains in the dark all day. They dutifully log television commercials and then run out to buy Axe Body Spray and Colgate by the truckload. The mere fact they now possess these items will surely bring incalculable amounts of joy to their lives! (Sure, go ahead and laugh. Now come take a look at the eight hundred boxes of printing paper I keep in my garage. It can happen to the best of us.) I got another chain letter yesterday afternoon. A coworker tracked me down and stuffed into my hands while I tried to masquerade as a potted plant behind the water cooler. “What is this?” I screamed after him, as I spit a leaf out of my mouth. “Instructions for Life” it said: #1 - Trust in God but lock your car. What kind of oxymoron is that? I say let your paint job fade to primer gray and fill your car with enough gardening tools, drive-through refuse and assorted trash so that you will impede theft but not vision. No one is going to want a car like that. God has enough things to worry about. I trust this way I can leave my vehicle unlocked and not have him fretting over my Ranger. #2 - Share your knowledge — it’s the way to achieve immortality. Obviously the wise sage that penned this down never had children. Here is what would happen at my home if I attempt to share my knowledge. “Baby, a penny saved is a penny earned.” “Daaaaddddy. What the hell do you think I can buy with a penny? You are sooooo dumb!” Immortality. Ha ha ha. #3 - Once a year go some place you have never been before. The only hope I have in ever achieving this grand life instruction is to begin shopping further and further away from my home until I am eventually at a Mini-Mart in Alaska wrestling my Twinkie from the angry mouth of a Polar Bear. #4 - Believe in love at first sight. This one is right. I should be married to Demi Moore. #5 - Don’t trust a man/woman who does not close their eyes when you kiss them. Okay, does this not mean you are opening your eyes to see if they are opening theirs? I think that’s cheating. #6 - Mind your own business Ha ha ha ha! Hee hee hee! That was fucking awesome! I’m not sure if I can even go on now. My ribs ache. #7 - Spend some time alone. Well, this one has some merit. I’m moving into my closet. The letter went on to advise me that, in direct proportion to the number of people I intended to forever alienate from my life by passing these instructions on to them, things would improve for me on many dramatic levels! I’m sending mine to Ed McMahon. Just because I might already be a winner. I think I shall make my own list of instructions for a happy life. #1 - Move to Borneo. Change your name, disconnect your phone and alter your perfume so they can’t track you by smell. If you don’t do this, your children will find you and make you sew that damn button on.

Well, here you are. You should be ashamed at your predictability. You have now become the unwilling participant in a study on adverse human psychology. For the past several weeks I have been sitting here at my keyboard plugging away at poetry full of content and great entertainment value, and you know what? You Fubar perverts don’t care! I have a hit tracker that has been watching you.

All of you. And it’s sadly apparent to me that my most popular posts are the ones that feature “sex” or “erotic” somewhere in them. Shame. Hang your heads in shame. I’d like to now qualify your level of moral degradation by conducting the following survey. Be honest with your answers. My hit tracker is watching you. It sees you. Really. And might I say, on it’s behalf, that you really need to rotate your underwear more frequently.

If given the choice, I’m most likely to watch movies featuring:

A) That precocious Shirley Temple and her adorable hijinx! She’s so cute!

B) Explosions. Lots and lots of explosions.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

If given the choice, I’m most likely to eat:

A) Anything pasta. I’m health conscious and my body is my temple. ;-)

B) Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

When attending a party, I’m most likely to wear:

A) Clothes! Unless you are very good looking or are really, really good at fellatio.

B) A smile. Lots and lots of smiles.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

When I die, I want the following type of people attending my wake:

A) Aerosmith. They can play while my friends and family dance. Aerosmith rocks!

B) Librarians. Lots and lots of Librarians.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

Thanks for your honesty. It means a lot to me. I shall tabulate these answers and notify you all accordingly. I sincerely hope you have learned a lesson here today. One needn’t sprinkle their columns with references to panties, nudity, buxom Asians, sadomasochism, foot fetishes, panties and more panties, hot sexy schoolgirls, leather, bondage, sexual perversions, donkeys, midgets or panties and yet more panties so that web spiders everywhere will collect this data in order to drive people to their blog. (but it helps) I’m not bitter.

I am thrilled when one hundred of you, in just one day, visit my blog to read about my rantings, but am sadly dejected when ten of you wander in on various other days to read about my various other crap. I am proud to say I am part of the moral majority. I will not sink to the levels of depravity that make those other blogs on Fubar popular. (unless you really really want me to) lol I won’t offer columns about sex just to drive people in! I shall stand firm, yet cocky, and refrain from using words like tits and ass in order to pad my hit counter! (unless I happen to feel overly amorous that day)

Now if you’ll pardon me, UPS is here. I hope it’s my Naked Coeds, Vaseline and whipped cream order.

Now that I have completely bored the hell out of you...

RATE MY BLOGS DAMN IT!

Love Dene