Deno's blog: "My Rants, Raves and Musings"

Well, here you are. You should be ashamed at your predictability. You have now become the unwilling participant in a study on adverse human psychology. For the past several weeks I have been sitting here at my keyboard plugging away at poetry full of content and great entertainment value, and you know what? You Fubar perverts don’t care! I have a hit tracker that has been watching you.

All of you. And it’s sadly apparent to me that my most popular posts are the ones that feature “sex” or “erotic” somewhere in them. Shame. Hang your heads in shame. I’d like to now qualify your level of moral degradation by conducting the following survey. Be honest with your answers. My hit tracker is watching you. It sees you. Really. And might I say, on it’s behalf, that you really need to rotate your underwear more frequently.

If given the choice, I’m most likely to watch movies featuring:

A) That precocious Shirley Temple and her adorable hijinx! She’s so cute!

B) Explosions. Lots and lots of explosions.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

If given the choice, I’m most likely to eat:

A) Anything pasta. I’m health conscious and my body is my temple. ;-)

B) Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

When attending a party, I’m most likely to wear:

A) Clothes! Unless you are very good looking or are really, really good at fellatio.

B) A smile. Lots and lots of smiles.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

When I die, I want the following type of people attending my wake:

A) Aerosmith. They can play while my friends and family dance. Aerosmith rocks!

B) Librarians. Lots and lots of Librarians.

C) Naked Coeds, Vaseline and some whipped cream.

Thanks for your honesty. It means a lot to me. I shall tabulate these answers and notify you all accordingly. I sincerely hope you have learned a lesson here today. One needn’t sprinkle their columns with references to panties, nudity, buxom Asians, sadomasochism, foot fetishes, panties and more panties, hot sexy schoolgirls, leather, bondage, sexual perversions, donkeys, midgets or panties and yet more panties so that web spiders everywhere will collect this data in order to drive people to their blog. (but it helps) I’m not bitter.

I am thrilled when one hundred of you, in just one day, visit my blog to read about my rantings, but am sadly dejected when ten of you wander in on various other days to read about my various other crap. I am proud to say I am part of the moral majority. I will not sink to the levels of depravity that make those other blogs on Fubar popular. (unless you really really want me to) lol I won’t offer columns about sex just to drive people in! I shall stand firm, yet cocky, and refrain from using words like tits and ass in order to pad my hit counter! (unless I happen to feel overly amorous that day)

Now if you’ll pardon me, UPS is here. I hope it’s my Naked Coeds, Vaseline and whipped cream order.

Now that I have completely bored the hell out of you...

RATE MY BLOGS DAMN IT!

Love Dene