I wrote this Poem for Gus, less than a month after he died in my arms. Those were very dark days for me, I no longer cared to be alive. I wanted only to be with him wherever he was and I kept remembering how he had saved me and his Little Sister both on the same day from domestic homicide. We owe him our lives, but we couldn't save his.
We still talk on the phone once in a while, she and I, but it's very hard for both of us as we are living reminders to each other of happier times when Gus was with us, holding us within his strong arms and surrounding us with his powerful love and protection.
Erica called me the other day to share with me the happy news that she is going to have a baby girl in April. I knew I had to somehow for her sake hold back my tears this time until after we hung up. Somehow I did. But once again I was reminded of when Gus saved us, both she and I, and on the night that he did it, after I fell asleep safe at last, he told his little sister it had been the proudest day of his life.
I am so lucky to have been a part of his life and to have been showered with his unconditional love, and honored to have been the only one present at his passing, at his request...
Gus’ Proudest Day
Gus~
You Loved me each day
Like it was your last day
So Strong My Rock My Man
We made perfect balance
The two of us together
Behind me always you’d stand.
Your eyes how they touched me
Like words never could
When you looked at me they shone
First time I saw you
And then when you touched me
I knew I had finally found home.
Beautiful Blue Eyes
Like the sky before a storm
Dusky blue happiness danced
Complete Total Love
I saw in those eyes
Always they held me entranced.
My days are now spent lost
Inside thoughts of you
I was really expecting you’d Live
Then you took your last breath
Your heart beat no more
I still can’t believe you are gone.
Great memories haunt me
The Gingerbread House in the rain
Roswell Valentines
Flagstaff Engaged
On constant rewind in my brain.
You in your Glory
Rescuing and protecting
I remember how you’d grin when you’d say
“I’ve got two women with me,
Who both left their old-men,
With Me, on the same day!”
I’ll always remember
With each breath I take
I have you to Thank for my Life
I’ll always remember and can never forget
You intended to make me your wife.
Finally we’d found
What we’d both always wanted
Happiness Trust and Respect
My dream for our next life
Is we’ll meet when we’re young
And live happily ever after
I expect.
By Andrea L. Bois
MARCH, 2006
In Loving Memory of Gus McKinley Killen
May 22, 1964 to February 12, 2006
My Hero, My Best Friend, My Soul Mate
copyright ©2006 by the author.
All rights reserved by author.
