Drea2up's blog: "My Poetry and other things I've written"

"We will be guided to be in the right place at exactly the right time and to meet the people we need to encounter."---Bob Frissell, American Author. Sometimes I think I conjured up my Gus.... He was everything I'd ever longed and prayed for in a man and the very first time we ever met in THIS life, we both knew instantly that we had known each other before. We looked into each others eyes and instantly everything else fell away. The way that he looked at me then shall forever linger in my memory. A look that will flash before my inner eyes for incarnations to come, a look of recognition and confusion that perfectly reflected my own. A look that I suspect will be the last thing I see in the cinema of my mind before I die. It was as if at that moment there was no one else alive in the whole world except he and I. His twinkling eyes hid an intense sexuality that smoldered just beneath his surface that I could feel as surely as I feel the chair I sit in now... Sometimes I cry thinking I might somehow forget that look... or the way he looked at me with total love and adoration each and every day after we got together. He loved me every day like it was his last day on earth. I pray to the Goddess I never do forget those beautiful blue eyes of his, or the power they had over me. God I miss that man so much! It still hurts so much to be without him. It's a huge fist clenching my heart and my throat. It's a physical pain that shuts me down and crying is all I can do.

Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. One can't easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current realities. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as “good.” Sometimes we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having. It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now.